He Who Fights with Monsters 5: A LitRPG Adventure

“He’s gotten on board weirdly fast,” Hiro said. “His father did me a good turn and I promised to keep Taika out of trouble. Give him a good job, make sure he doesn’t get pulled too deep into the life. I have no idea how I’m going to explain all this to his dad. Have we pulled him into something dangerous?”

“That’s on me,” Jason said. “I’ve been treating this world like the rules are the same as the other one and they’re not. I need to get my head around that before even more people get hurt. I’ve been on a war footing in my head and that needs to stop. If I keep being violent, then I’ll just bring violence down on us all.”

Jason sighed.

“I got you and Taika caught up in my mess. I’ve been telling myself that I’ll do what it takes to keep you safe, but in my head, that meant being willing to go further and hit harder than the other guy. I’ve realised that’s less about being willing to do whatever it takes and more about getting caught up in a story I’m telling myself. It’s an ongoing problem I have that always seems to blow back on the people around me rather than myself. A willingness to do what it takes means that if what it takes is eating some humble pie, I have to be willing to do that.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” Hiro said.

“I used to think I was so clever. A natural politician. The reality is, even in a simpler society, I was out of my depth. Here I’m just flailing, like an angry child with a gun.”

“Maybe going home is what you need,” Hiro said. “Step away from all the magic and madness. Let yourself get grounded for a while. No one brings you down to Earth like family.”

Jason suddenly burst out laughing.

“What?” Hiro asked.

“I just realised that I’m more nervous about seeing my sister than when I had to go see a bunch of gods.”

“What?”

“Oh, yeah; gods are real. Just not local, that I’m aware of. I mean, they could be. I won’t know unless one of them rocks up to say g’day, which puts me in the same boat as everyone else, I guess. I think I might go check in with Taika and see how he’s doing.”

“Wait, gods?” Hiro asked incredulously as Jason wandered towards the elevating platform.

“Don’t feel bad,” Jason said. “Atheism’s a valid position to hold, based on the information you had available. It’s wrong, though. I’ll tell you all about it later.”

Jason rose to the upper level, where Taika and Gordon were sitting in front of the television on the wall.

“The reason it’s the best one is because there’s five of them,” Taika said. “If one man can make a difference, then five people can make five times as much difference.”

“Taika,” Jason said disapprovingly. “Are you introducing Gordon to the wrong Knight Rider?”

“Your magic bus yacht has good internet, bro. Who’s your provider?”





In winter, Casselton Beach went from sleepy tourist town to outright hibernation. The marina was at a fraction of capacity, with only a few charter boats still operating, catering to seasonal fishers. With the warmth of spring, luxury pleasure boats would return as wealthy holidaymakers arrived like bears emerging after their winter slumber.

Jason had hired out a marina berth for his cloud house, much as he had done in Greenstone. Shade drove the motorhome directly onto the water, to the alarm of Taika and Hiro, but it floated perfectly well. Then Jason ushered everyone off and he pulled out the flask to start the transformation from motorhome to houseboat.

“That’s quite a magic item,” Vermillion said. “Are there many like that… where you’ve been?”

“It’s pretty special, even over there,” Jason said. “I won it in a contest.”

“Like a raffle?”

“Not exactly.” Jason laughed. “Where are you staying?”

“The Cabal bought a place. It turns out there are a lot of expensive homes around here, once you get out of the town proper.”

“Yeah,” Jason said. “Lots of rich people keep holiday homes here.”

“I have to go see your mother,” Vermillion said.

“You bought it from my mum?”

“She is the pre-eminent upscale realtor in the Greater Casselton area.”

“Just because it says that on her website doesn’t make it true.”

“The house is close to town, but apparently secluded enough that people won’t notice the donors coming and going.”

“As in blood donors?” Jason asked.

“That’s right,” Vermillion said. “I only need to feed around once a week, unless I get very active. Recruiting locals is not a good idea, so each week, the Cabal will send along one of the people we’ve cultivated for the purpose. They get a nice drive and enough money to live on for a month, so they aren’t exactly losing out. They don’t even have to do the driving themselves, since we aren’t going to send them on a road trip woozy from donating. They get a driver.”

“You know, I did check out that club of yours,” Jason said.

“You did? My people didn’t notice.”

“They weren’t meant to,” Jason said. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t lying about not killing people.”

“Where’s the trust?” Vermillion asked.

“I trust,” Jason said, “but I also verify. Tell me your people didn’t run my whole life through a sieve and I’ll apologise.”

“You’re not worth that kind of effort.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes, it is.”

“What’s my mother’s middle name?”

“How would I possibly know that?” Vermillion asked.

Jason looked at him from under raised eyebrows.

“Okay, it’s Marie,” Vermillion admitted. “Can I have my car back, please?”





“You know, I’m going to be dealing with your mother a lot as well,” Hiro said as they watched Vermillion drive off. “If I’m going to start up a development here, working with her commercial office just makes sense.”

“Is that going to work out?” Jason asked. “As I recall, my mother came down firmly on your mother’s side regarding your vocational choices.”

“Once your grandmother comes around, Cheryl won’t be a problem.”

“And Grandmother Yumi’s going to come around, is she?”

“She cares more about being right than anything I might have done. The prodigal son contritely returning home having learned his lesson is exactly what she wants.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Jason said sceptically.

“You know, we’re both here to make awkward homecomings,” Hiro said. “I’m going to start by going to see Ken.”

“I’m going to wait until tomorrow night and pay Erika a visit,” Jason said. “I’ll wait until her birthday celebration wraps up. It’s falling on a Friday, so she’ll probably be having a party. If you go see Dad, he’ll probably drag you along.”

“Yeah,” Hiro said. “To annoy your mother, if nothing else.”

Jason sighed.

“I want to say that I can’t believe they got divorced, but I can.”

“What will you be doing before tomorrow night?” Hiro asked.

“Oh, I have some things to do.”





Kaito was on his way home when the phone affixed to his dash rang and he tapped the screen to answer.

“Hey, Ames,” he said in greeting.

“G’day,” Amy said, Kaito recognising that particular brand of weariness in his wife’s voice.

“Council meeting?”

“They’re all morons,” she said. “Why did I run for mayor again?”

“Because the mayor was a moron.”

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