He Who Fights with Monsters 5: A LitRPG Adventure

“Love you too, cousin.”

They went into the back yard, where a huge family barbecue was in full swing. He nervously met with his grandmother, who was lucid and happy to be so. She had almost no memory of the last several years and was happily catching up with all her family. Things got a little awkward, given that she didn’t remember that Amy was no longer with Jason but Kaito.

Jason found himself answering the same questions over and over. His story started with the one he had originally given his sister, but as his frustration grew, the story started to morph.

“I got one of the men who killed my wife, but the other one clubbed me over the head,” he explained to one of his cousins. “Now I can’t form short-term memories, so I have to keep meticulous records as I put the pieces together in my quest for revenge.”

“Isn’t that the plot of the film Memento?”

“Never heard of it,” Jason said, then gave a knowing look. “Or maybe I have and don’t remember.”

Jason spotted Erika scowling at him from across the yard and he ducked out of sight, finally grateful for the crowded yard. Emi continued to trail along behind him.

“Uncle Jason?”

“Yeah?”

“What were you busy doing yesterday?”

“Fighting monsters.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“What are monsters like?”

“Scary.”

“Do you have any recordings of them?”

“I don’t think your mother wants you seeing them. Neither do I, for that matter.”

“What if I can talk Dad into letting me?”

“No dice, Moppet. Convince your mum and maybe we can talk.”

Emi’s face took on a pout.

“Where did you find monsters?” she asked.

“That’s not my secret to tell,” Jason said. “I’m hoping you’ll learn that soon, though.”

Jason was somewhat uncomfortable, the attention of everyone present prickling his aura senses. One particular strand was focused on him like a laser beam. He looked over at his mother.

“Emi,” he said. “You go see if you can’t convince your mum now. I should go talk to mine.”

He made his way to Cheryl, whose hands were clasped together around an untouched glass of wine.

“G’day, Mum,” he said softly. “I was kind of a prick the other night. Of course, you were kind of a prick for most of the twenty-tens, but maybe we can start treading some fresh ground. How about we find somewhere quiet inside and I tell you about what I’ve been up to?”

Cheryl flashed a well-recognised look of dissatisfaction at Jason’s poke, but visibly calmed herself.

“I’d like that,” she said.

“We can use Erika’s room,” Jason said. “There’s something there you need to see.”

Soon after, a startled Cheryl emerged through the portal onto the houseboat. As she leaned against the wall trying not to vomit, Kaito’s voice drifted in from the media room.

“What the hell is that? Is that a lion-man?”

“It looks like Ron Perlman from Beauty and the Beast,” Amy’s voice came after.

“From the movie? That can’t have been Ron Perlman.”

“Not the movie, Kai. The TV show. The old one, not the new one.”

“There’s more than one?”





Jason, Hiro, Taika and Vermillion met the EOA contingent in the downstairs bar of Hiro’s establishment. It was closed and empty, pending the change in ownership. The EOA representative was Michael Kissling, who had once come for Jason in Vermillion’s café.

“You’re not going to try and drag me off again, are you?” Jason asked.

“It’s come to our attention that the attempt would be unlikely to go well,” Kissling said wryly.

Jason had no expertise in the field of managing criminal or legitimate enterprises, so he hung back with Taika as Hiro and Vermillion went over documents and signed contracts.

“So, you fought a bunch of monsters, right?” Taika asked.

“Yep,” Jason said.

“Isn’t that scary?”

“Terrifying,” Jason said. “The trick is to start with the little ones and work your way up.”

“How little?”

“You know that rabbit from Holy Grail?”

“Bro, that thing’s savage.”

Jason’s phone rang with a number he didn’t recognise, but he answered it anyway.

“Johnson Deli, where we give you the big sausage,” Jason answered, earning an odd look from Taika.

“Sorry, I think I got a wrong… wait, Jason?”

“G’day, Asya. How’d you be?”

“This is how you answer your phone?”

“No, you really did use the wrong number. I am actually doing temp work in a deli. Crazy coincidence, right?”

“You’re a lunatic, you know that?” She laughed. “Look, I’m on my way back to Sydney from the International Committee office in Canberra and we’ve gotten some movement from the Lyon branch about the outworlder. Can you meet me to talk in person? I can drive up to Casselton Beach once I’ve been to the branch office in Sydney.”

“Actually, I’m in Sydney myself,” Jason said.

“Great! Can you meet me at the Sydney branch in, say, three hours?”

“I’m not quite ready to walk into the lion’s den yet,” Jason said.

“You realise that if we’re going to work together, there has to be at least a level of trust,” Asya said.

“Tell me that there wasn’t a discussion about killing me off to forestall trouble and I’ll take you up on that.”

“Neutral ground, then,” Asya said. “You set the place.”

“Yarranabbe Park.”

“Alright. I’ll see you in three hours.”

Jason wandered back just as Vermillion and Hiro settled up. Hiro was looking like the cat that got the cream, while Kissling was throwing uncertain glances in Jason’s direction.

“We’re happy?” Jason asked.

“Very,” Hiro said. “Their lawyers didn’t try to sneak anything through.”

“You’re not out of practice?” Jason asked. “You haven’t practised law in a long time.”

“Are you kidding?” Hiro asked. “I got more out of my law degree as a morally questionable business developer than I ever did at my old firm. Besides, it’s plain they went out of their way to make it clean and unambiguous.”

“The EOA clearly has no interest in provoking a visit from you,” Vermillion said. “After the bikers, I think they realised that if we hadn’t reached an accord the last time you met, it would not have gone the way they expected.”

“We should go see my mum now,” Taika said. “Jason’s got a date later.”

“I do not have a date,” Jason said.

“You didn’t just arrange to meet some lady in the park?” Taika asked.

“It’s not like that,” Jason said.

“You should have heard him, all smooth,” Taika said. “He was all ‘let’s not meet at the office. We should go somewhere more intimate.’ You’re good with the ladies, bro.”

“I am not going to entertain this kind of talk,” Jason said.

“Who are you meeting?” Vermillion asked.

“Just someone from the Network,” Jason said.

“Annabeth Tilden?” Vermillion asked.

“Asya Karadeniz.”

“Oh, nice,” Vermillion said. “Elegant beauty, I like it.”

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