I undo the button. The zipper. Go to push them off his hips.
His fingers curl around my wrist. "On your back." He climbs onto the bed next to me. Brings his hand to my cheek. "I need to be inside of you."
"I need to kiss you." I climb into his lap. One hand goes to his light hair. The other goes to his back.
My fingers dig into his skin as I bring my lips to his.
I suck on his bottom lip softly. Then harder.
He scrapes his teeth against my top lip.
His hands slip beneath my tank top. They go right to my breasts.
He traces the outline of my bra again and again.
His tongue slides into my mouth.
His thumbs slip into my bra.
He toys with my nipples as he kisses me.
I shift my hips, swing a leg over his so I'm straddling him.
He's hard under me. Even with our jeans in the way, I can feel him.
I grind against him, so my clit is rubbing against his length.
Fuck.
That's intense.
Pleasure pools between my legs. Every brush of his thumbs sends a pang of lust straight to my core.
My nails dig into his skin. My tongue dances with his.
I move faster. Kiss him harder. Kiss him with everything I have.
He pulls back with a heavy sigh. Drags his fingertips down my stomach. Does away with my tank top.
My hands go to the back of my bra. I start to unhook it, but my fingers freeze.
This is our third time being here, but it still feels new.
It’s still terrifying.
Slowly, I slide my bra off one shoulder, then the other.
His eyes go wide as he takes me in.
His soft, low groan erases every doubt in my head.
In his eyes, I'm not weird or broken or pieced together.
I'm whole.
He brings his hands to my lower back. Pulls both of us up the bed. Straightens us.
He lies down, his head on his pillow, his back against the sheets.
His hands find my chest. He cups my breasts softly.
Not like they're strange and foreign.
Like he's reveling in the feel of them.
One hand plants between my shoulder-blades.
He pulls my body into his. Until my chest is against his mouth.
When his lips close around my nipple, I feel it.
The line between my body and soul dissolves.
I am my body.
I'm the tight feeling in my nipples, the ache between my legs, the pounding of my heart.
The last hint of tension in my shoulders melts.
The day fades away.
The future fades away.
Everything else fades away.
It's just me and Dean and all this bliss.
He strips me out of my jeans then presses his palm against me, over my panties.
I rock my hips, grinding against his fingers, reveling in the friction of the soft fabric.
It feels good, but it's not enough.
I need him inside me.
I shift sideways. Fall onto the bed on my back. Turn my neck so we're face-to-face.
God, I love his face. The blue eyes. The strong nose. The soft lips. The sculpted jawline.
"Fuck me." I push my panties to my ankles. Kick them off. "Now."
His nod is heavy. Needy.
He undoes his jeans. Arches his back to push them, and his boxers, off his hips.
They fall onto the floor in front of the bed.
Finally, we're exactly where we need to be.
Nothing between us.
He kneels next to me and tears the condom wrapper open with his teeth.
He drags his fingertips over my skin with a feather soft touch. Down my stomach. Up my thigh. Closer and closer and—
There.
His fingers brush my clit.
Softly.
Then harder.
He drags his hand lower. Teases me with one finger. Two.
Again.
Again.
There.
He slides two fingers inside me.
Fuck. The pressure of his digits is intense. But it's not enough.
"Dean." I arch my hips, pushing his fingers deeper.
My breath hitches as he drives into me.
I forget what I'm asking for. Only that I need it.
He rolls the condom over his cock.
Looks at me with this intoxicating mix of desire and need.
"Now," I plead. This feels so fucking good, but I'm greedy. I want more. I want everything.
"Spread your legs."
I do.
Slowly, he pulls his hand away. He brings his first two fingers to his lips. Sucks the taste of me from his digits.
My sex clenches.
He places himself between my legs.
His fingers curl into my hips as he lifts me into the air. Brings my body to his.
His tip strains against me.
Then it's one inch at a time.
He stares into my eyes as he slides inside me.
My fingers curl into the sheets. It's been a long, long time. This is a lot.
My lips press together.
I squeeze my eyes shut.
"Breathe, baby." He holds my body against his. Strokes the flesh of my ass with his fingertips.
I just barely nod.
"We can take this as slow as you need."
But that's the thing. I don't need slow. I need fast. I need him splitting me in half.
Deep breath.
Steady exhale.
We're making up, my body and me. If it needs slow, I can respect that.
Dean and I have a lot of time to fuck.
Well… we might not.
But we have all of tonight.
"Look at me." His voice is soft. Sweet.
I blink my eyes open.
God, there's something so intoxicating about the way he's looking at me. He needs me, yes, but it's more than a carnal thing.
He needs all of me.
I hold Dean's gaze as he pulls back then shifts into me again.
I'm ready. I'm wet. I'm antsy. I'm aching.
But the pressure is still intense. As much as I can take.
He lays me down. Lowers his body onto mine. One hand plants outside my shoulder. The other knots in my hair.
He strokes my temple with his thumb.
He brings his lips to mine.
He kisses me as he drives into me.
Slowly.
Softly.
Then faster.
Harder.
His tongue slips into my mouth.
His cock pushes deeper.
Bit by bit, my body relaxes. My legs wrap around his hips. My arms wrap around his chest.
I break out of the kiss. Stare up into his eyes. Nod. Yes, more, please, faster.
He holds me close as he rocks into me with long, steady strokes.
His groans vibrate down my throat.
He drives into me again and again.
Pleasure floods my pelvis. It spreads out through my torso, my limbs, my fingers and toes.
With every thrust, he winds me tighter.
I rock my hips, moving with him, pushing him deeper.
Deeper.
Fuck.
I pull back to groan his name.
My eyelids flutter open. The room is a blur of moonlight and white walls and soft sheets and skin and sweat.
And Dean.
I nestle my head in the crook of his neck.
I wrap my arms around him.
We stay locked together like that, holding each other, moving together.
He keeps that same slow, steady pace.
He fills me with deep steady thrusts.
I hold on to the bliss as long as I can. Until the tension inside me winds as tight as I can take it.
Then tighter.
Tighter.
Fuck.
With his next thrust, I go over the edge.
My nails dig into his back. My lips find his neck. I suck on his soft skin as I come.
My sex pulses with my orgasm. Pleasure spills through every molecule of my body. Everything goes white. Nothing but the pure, blinding light of bliss.
I suck a breath through my nose as I come down.
He looks down at me like I'm his salvation.
Maybe I am. If he really has been spending the last few years with that empty spot in his gut. The one that can only be filled with loving someone and letting them love you.
I want that so badly. To have that well of trust inside me. That willingness to drag someone through hell with me.
My eyes close.
My lips find his.
He kisses me as he drives into me. His strokes speed then steady.
I get lost in the motions of our bodies.
Until he's there, groaning my name into my neck, pulsing inside me.
Kissing me like I'm everything he needs.
Chapter Thirty
Dean
At work, Ryan is sitting at the front desk, scribbling a mock-up into his sketchbook, cup of coffee by his side.
His eyes dart from his paper to me. "Can't remember the last time I saw that look."
I drop my backpack in my suite. Cross the room to the counter. "This is my everyday look."
"No." He stares into my eyes, picking me apart in that Ryan kind of way. "You're happy."