Balancing out testimonials from the gentle and the frocked was one by the trainer of the New York Giants from 1930 to 1932, Leonard Knowles. Knowles hinted but did not outright state that the players’ regimen had included sessions with the Joy-Beauty-Life Cascade. In an unusual display of restraint, Charles Tyrrell did not take credit for the Giants’ second-and third-place finishes in the National League during the time Knowles was with the team.
* As autointoxication experiments go, this one presents a comparatively minor affront to animal welfare. Less mildly, here is Frenchman Charles Bouchard, in 1893, referring to his laboratory rabbits: “I have practiced intravenous injection with the extracts of fecal matter. It produces depression and diarrhea.” Which begs the question: If you are a caged lab animal under the care of a man who is liable, on any given day, to inject you with human excretions, is it possible to be any more depressed? Ask the animals over in Christian Herter’s lab. Over the course of several months in 1907, Dr. Herter injected rabbits and guinea pigs with fecal extract from lions, tigers, wolves, elephants, camels, goats, buffalo, and horses. Herter wanted to see whether the shit he got from carnivores was more pernicious than the shit he got from herbivores. The rodents died either way, leading one to wonder about the shit he got from the humane society.
* As an aside, Walker noted that “stools can be sieved to retrieve the pellets, thus avoiding the need for X-rays.” Who would sieve when they could X-ray? Someone who long ago wore out his welcome in the radiology department. Based on the following, I’m guessing Walker may also have been pushing his luck with Bantu villagers. “Eighty to 98 percent of rural Bantu children,” he marveled, can “produce a stool on request.”
15
Eating Backward
IS THE DIGESTIVE TRACT A TWO-WAY STREET?
AS FAR BACK as ancient Egypt and as recently as 1926, patients unable to keep their food down would be given their food up. The “nutrient enema” was a last resort for people who, the thinking went, would otherwise starve. As unlikely as it may sound, the practice was broadly accepted in the medical community, so much so that ready-made preparations were available for purchase. You would see them advertised in the pages of journals, complete with the occasional customer testimonial (as from the satisfied 1859 patient for whom rectal coffee* and cream “relieved the sense of ‘famishing thirst’ better than any other injection”).
President James Garfield was the poster boy of rectal feeding. In 1881, Garflield’s liver was pierced by an assassin’s bullet and shortly thereafter inoculated with a dose of bacteria from the unwashed fingers and instruments of Dr. D.* W. Bliss. From August 14 to the time of Garfield’s death on September 19, the dwindling, retching head of state, on Bliss’s orders, was fed nothing but nutrient enemas prepared in the dispensary of the United States surgeon general.
Here is the recipe for Assistant U.S. Surgeon General C. H. Crane’s Rectal Beef Extract: “Infuse a third of a pound of fresh beef, finely minced, in 14 ounces of cold soft water, to which a few drops of muriatic acid and a little salt . . . have been added. After digesting for an hour to an hour and a quarter, strain it through a sieve.” The yolk of an egg was then added, along with 2 drams of Beef Peptonoids and 5 drams of whiskey.
The nice thing about cooking for someone who can’t taste the food is that the same dish can be served over and over without complaint. Or without the usual complaint. A downside to eating rectally is that body heat quickly leads to rot and reek. President Garfield and his nurses endured five days of sulfurous flatus so “annoying and offensive” that egg yolks were stricken from the recipe. Beef blood was likewise to be avoided; one physician lamented that the odor produced by decomposing blood was “so offensive as to pervade the whole house.” Bouillon, another common rectal menu item, also created optimal conditions for bacteria. (Before agar was widely used for laboratory cultures, a medium of choice was beef broth.) The enema-fed rectum was a highly efficient incubator, an in-house petri dish.
What’s worse, proceeding too quickly could trigger the more traditional goal of the enema. (I suppose it wasn’t that far removed from feeding a baby. Though where do you hang the bib?) “I need hardly say,” wrote a learned contributor to the British Medical Journal in 1882, “that the rectum should be empty when a nutrient injection is to be given.” A before-dinner enema of the cleansing variety was recommended.