“We’ll be safe here, for now,” Po said. “As long as they don’t come after us with dogs.”
But why were they hiding? Now that they sat still, the strangeness of all that had happened began to pierce Katsa’s mind, like the arrows the horsemen had shot at their backs. Why were they hiding, why weren’t they fighting? Why were they afraid? That woman had been afraid, too. That woman who looked like a Lienid. Ashen. The wife of Leck was a Lienid, and her name was Ashen – and yes, that made sense, because that grief-stricken man had called her his wife. That man with the eyepatch and the bow in his hands was Leck.
But wasn’t it Leck’s arrow that had struck Ashen? Katsa couldn’t quite recall; and when she tried to watch that moment again in her mind, a fog and falling snow blocked her sight.
Po might remember. But Po had been so strange, too, telling her to shoot Leck as he grieved over his wife. And then telling her to cover her ears. Why cover her ears?
That thing that she couldn’t quite grasp flickered again in her mind. She reached for it and it disappeared. And then she was angry, at her thick-headedness, her stupidity. She couldn’t make sense of all this, because she was too unintelligent.
She looked at Po, who leaned against the wall of the tree and stared straight ahead at nothing. The sight of him upset her even more, for his face seemed thin, his mouth tight. He was tired, worn out, most likely hungry. He’d said something about dogs, and she knew his eyes well enough to recognize the shadows of worry that sat within them.
Po. Please tell me what’s wrong.
“Katsa.” He sighed her name. He rubbed his forehead and then looked into her face. “Do you remember our
conversations about King Leck, Katsa? What we said about him, before we saw him today?”
She stared at him and remembered they’d said something; but she couldn’t remember what it was.
“About his eyes, Katsa. Something he’s hiding.”
“He’s…” It came to her suddenly. “He’s Graced.”
“Yes. Do you remember what his Grace is?”
And then it began to trickle back to her, piece by piece, from some part of her mind she hadn’t been able to reach before. She saw it again clearly. Ashen, terrified, fleeing from her husband and his army; Leck shooting Ashen in the back; Leck crying out in pretended grief, his words fogging Katsa’s mind, transforming the murder her eyes had seen into a tragic accident she couldn’t remember. Po screaming at her to shoot Leck; and she refusing.
She couldn’t look him in the face, for shame overwhelmed her.
“It’s not your fault,” he said.
“I swore to you I’d do what you said. I swore it, Po.”
“Katsa. No one could’ve kept that promise. If I’d known how powerful Leck was, if I’d had the slightest idea – I never should have brought you here.”
“You didn’t bring me here. We came together.”
“Well, and now we’re both in great danger.” He stiffened. “Wait,” he whispered. He seemed to be listening to something, but Katsa could hear nothing. “They’re searching the forest,” he said after a minute. “That one turned away.
I don’t think they have dogs.”
“But why are we hiding from them?”
“Katsa – ”
“What do you mean, we’re in great danger? Why aren’t we fighting these butchers, why…” She dropped her face into her hands. “I’m so confused. I’m hopelessly stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. It’s Leck’s Grace that takes away your own thought, and it’s my Grace that sees so much more than a person should. You’re confused because Leck confused you deliberately with his words, and because I haven’t told you yet what I know.”
“Then tell me. Tell me what you know.”
“Well, Ashen is dead – that, I don’t have to tell you. She’s dead because she tried to escape Leck with Bitterblue.
Here we see her punishment for protecting her child.” She heard his bitterness and remembered that Ashen was not a
stranger to him, that he had seen a member of his family murdered today. “I believe you were right about Bitterblue,”
he said. “I’m almost sure, from what Ashen wanted as she ran toward me.”
“What did she want?”
“She wanted me to find Bitterblue, and protect her. I… I don’t know what it is Leck wants with her, exactly. But I think Bitterblue’s in the forest, hiding, like us.”
“We must find her before they do.”
“Yes, but there’s more you need to know, Katsa. We’re in particular danger, you and I. Leck saw us, he recognized us. Leck saw us…”
He broke off, but it didn’t matter. She understood, suddenly, what Leck had seen. He’d seen them run away when they shouldn’t have had the slightest idea of their danger. He’d seen her put her hands over her ears when they shouldn’t have known the power of his words.
“He doesn’t – he doesn’t know how much of the truth I know,” Po said. “But he knows his Grace doesn’t work on me. I’m a threat to him and he wants me dead. And you he wants alive.”
Katsa’s eyes snapped to his face. “But they were shooting at us – ”
“I heard the command, Katsa. The arrows were meant for me.”
“We should have fought,” Katsa said. “We could’ve taken those soldiers. We must find him now and kill him.”
“No, Katsa. You know you can’t be in his presence.”
“I can cover my ears somehow.”
“You can’t block out all sound, and he’ll only talk louder. He’ll yell and you’ll hear him – your hearing is too good –
and his words are no less dangerous if they’re muffled. Even the words of his soldiers are dangerous. Katsa, you’ll end up confused again and we’ll have to run – ”
“I won’t let him do that to me again, Po – ”
“Katsa.” There was a tired certainty in his voice, and she didn’t want to hear what he was going to say. “It only took him a few words,” he said, “and he had you. A few words erased everything you’d seen. He wants you, Katsa, he wants your Grace. And I can’t protect you.”
She hated the truth of his words, for he was right. Leck could do what he wanted with her. He could make a monster of her, if that was his wish. “Where is he now?”
“I don’t know; not nearby. But he’s probably in the forest, looking for us or for Bitterblue.”
“Will it be difficult to avoid him?”
“I don’t think so. My Grace will tell me if he’s near, and we can run and hide.”
A sick feeling stopped her breath. What if he tried to turn her against Po?
She took her dagger from her belt and held it out to him. He looked back at her with quiet eyes, understanding. “It won’t come to that,” he said.
“Good,” she said. “Take it anyway.”
He set his mouth but didn’t argue. He took the dagger and slid it into his own belt. She pulled the knife from her boot and passed it to him. She handed him the bow and helped him fasten the quiver of arrows onto his back.
“There’s not much we can do about my hands and feet,” she said, “but at least I’m unarmed. You’d stand a chance against me, Po, if you had a blade in each hand and I had none.”
“It won’t come to that.”
No, it probably wouldn’t. But if it did, there was no harm in being prepared. She watched his face, his eyes, which dimly glowed. His tired eyes, his dear eyes. He’d be better able to defend himself if her hands were bound. She wondered, should they bind her hands?
“And now you’ve crossed into the realm of the absurd,” he said.
She grinned. “We should try it, though, in our fights.”
A smile twitched in the corner of his mouth. “I could agree to that, sometime, when all of this is behind us.”
“Now,” she said, “let’s find your cousin.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
It was not easy for her to walk helplessly through the forest, Po deciding where to go and knowing when and where to hide, freezing in his tracks at the sense of things she couldn’t see or hear. His Grace was invaluable, she knew that.
But Katsa had never felt so much like a child.