“Red,” she said softly. “Read that for me.”
Heart in his mouth, he obeyed. He already knew what he’d find: Chloe’s list. The real one, full and uncensored. He took a breath and finally read the goals that had started all this.
The list was so neat and orderly and utterly her. Every goal was printed carefully in black ink, painstakingly perfect. Some of the entries he recognized, others he didn’t. Some were ticked off, some crossed out and replaced, all with so much care. His heart twisted. Why had he ever assumed that a spot on this list meant the worst? He should’ve known—he had known—that this was her path to the person she wanted to be.
Except he’d never really accepted that fact, because to him, she was already perfect.
He had the strongest fucking urge to throw this book across the room before he could find his own entry, except that would be a mistake, and he’d made enough of those already. He forced himself to look for his own name. Found it.
Keep Red.
He put the book down and looked at her. He wanted to say something. The right thing. He’d never managed it before, so he doubted he would now—but he tried. “I was wrong. I know I was wrong. I—”
“I read your letter,” she interrupted.
She’d only just read it? Was that good or bad? She seemed edgy, nervous, her soft lips pressed tight, those hypnotic eyes avoiding his. Suddenly the room seemed darker and the moment took on all the dread and finality of a grave. She didn’t want him. He’d failed. He’d lost her, really lost her.
But then she said, in a tone he couldn’t decipher, “I liked my presents.”
He laughed brokenly and ran a hand through his hair. Tried to make his fear a joke, because she wouldn’t appreciate him scattering the pieces of his broken heart over her like confetti. “Chloe. Baby. Just—put me out of my misery.”
She looked at him, finally, and he sucked in a breath. Couldn’t help it. God, she was so beautiful. God, she made his head spin. She frowned slightly, shook her head, rolled her eyes. Then she said, “All right.”
And kissed him.
He stumbled back into the wall, and she followed. Her hands slid into his hair and her body pressed tight against his, but her lips were petal soft. Searching. Tentative. As if she wasn’t sure how he’d react.
As it happened, he reacted like a starving animal.
He couldn’t silence the groan her touch teased from him, couldn’t stop himself from shaking, not when his blood surged with the knowledge that this was actually happening. His lips parted hers hungrily, and when she glided her tongue over his he gave a wounded, desperate growl that must’ve told her everything she could think to ask. I need you. I’m desperate for you. I’m something without you, and I’ll survive without you, but I don’t fucking want to, so Jesus, please don’t make me.
He dropped the notebook. His hands went to her waist, then her hips, then the row of buttons sewn down the front of her jumper. Her hair next, smoothed-out ripples under his fingers, then the gentle curve of her throat, and then her face. Everywhere, he was everywhere. Wasn’t enough.
She pulled back and panted, “I’m sorry.”
Carefully, he took off her glasses. Now she was young and vulnerable, giving him that soft focus. “For what, love?”
“For letting you go, and for how long it took me to come here. I should’ve been braver. Like you.”
“No,” he said firmly, fiercely. “You’re exactly as brave as you need to be. You’re the one who makes me better. You’re the bravest person I know.”
She grabbed the front of his T-shirt, dragged him close, kissed him again.
It was slower, this time, not as urgent. Talking touches. The sweet pressure of her mouth on his: I want you. The way she smoothed her hands over his chest: I missed you. And when he laced their fingers together? Puzzle pieces slotted into place. I’m yours. His world was marshmallow pink, electric white, chocolate and earth and tropical ocean. His world was good.
She pulled back again, and everything seemed slightly paler. “We should talk properly.”
Oh, yeah. Like rational, adult human beings. “Or we could kiss until we run out of oxygen.”
She smiled and his heart broke and fixed itself.
“I mean it,” he said. “If I die, I die.”
She laughed and the air tasted different. Clean.
“Come on,” she said, marching toward his studio, but she didn’t let go of his hand. Not until she sat down, leaning against a rare part of the wall that didn’t have supplies stacked against it.
Red sat opposite her and tried not to melt over the prim way she crossed her legs and arranged her skirt over her knees. But then his smile faded. “Chloe, I’m sorry. I freaked out, I took my own shit out on you, and I just—I shouldn’t have. But you read the list, and you know I’m working on it, and I hope . . . Well, I hope that’s enough.”
Softly, she told him, “It is. Red—”
“Oh, wait. I forgot something.” He found her hand again, held on tight. “I love you.”
The corners of those lush lips tilted ever so slightly before she got them under control. He wondered how he’d ever thought of her as reserved—or, you know, up her own arse—when he could see every single emotion she tried to hide under that mask if he just looked hard enough. And right now, he realized with a grin, happiness was shining right through her severe facade. She might as well have shoved the sun under a pillow. He could see every last golden ray burning through.
But what she said was “We’ll address that in a minute.”
Red told himself this was too serious a moment to risk laughing.
“Right now,” she said, “I need to apologize to you, too. I’m so fucking sorry, Red. I know everything about that situation triggered you. I knew it at the time. But I didn’t know the right way to react, and I should’ve.”
“No, Chlo,” he said softly. “That’s not on you.”
“No, it’s not,” she agreed. “But remember what you told me once? About filling in people’s gaps? You do things for me when I can’t do them for myself. I want to support you in the same way. Can we work on that? Together?”
She was so fucking lovely. So lovely, and she wanted him. He closed his eyes and nodded slowly. His voice came out like gravel. “Yeah, love. We can do that.”
“Good. Because you mean the world to me and I don’t ever want you to struggle alone.” Her words were a balm to everything in him that ached or stung or bled. Their fingers laced together so tightly he hoped they’d never come undone.
“You,” he told her quietly, “are everything.”
Dry as a bone, she murmured, “Flatterer.”