Mae mulled over the subtext. “Are you saying the head of SCI believes there are higher powers at work in the world?”
“I don’t know if she believes in them, but she knows the reports are out there. And even if she doesn’t like it—or me—I’m here because they’re grasping at straws.”
Numbed, Mae lay down beside him and stared at the ceiling. Such an amazing mind…bogged down by delusion. It was a pity. But then, after what he’d gone through, how could he not be scarred? Which now left her with a problem. What did she do with everything she’d learned? Because she’d learned a lot. There was an unlicensed cult stockpiling weapons in Mazatlán, as well as a priestess with information about other unlicensed groups. There was a servitor who believed he had supernatural creatures living in his mind and who had all but admitted to a belief in gods interfering in mortal lives. Of course, if what he’d said was true, SCI might already know where his beliefs were…but did they realize the extent? Would they care? They would probably care that he wasn’t reporting dangerous factions.
“What are you going to do?” asked Justin quietly, guessing her thoughts.
“I don’t know.”
“Horatio tells me you have a lot of control right now.”
“Who?”
“One of the ravens.”
“That’s his name?” she asked. “Horatio?”
“I didn’t give it to him. The other’s Magnus. But he’s right. You can make or break me, Mae.”
She pondered it for several more moments. “I want you to break this case. And right now, no matter how, um, confused you are, I still think you’re the only one who can do it.”
He turned to her and smiled. “You’ve got a lot of faith in me.”
“Faith in your powers of observation and deduction. I don’t know about the rest.” Some of Callista’s words came back to her. “What did Callista mean when she was asking who’d chosen you? Did she mean the ravens?”
“No.” His smile faded. “According to them, they’re just the messengers—of the god I gave the apple to. I’m supposed to follow him.”
She caught the wording. “Are you saying you don’t?”
“I’m saying I’ve found a few loopholes in the agreement that night that have spared me from officially signing on with this god who’s claimed me.”
“You really believe there’s one?”
“I believe there’s something interfering in my life.” He paused. “And in yours.”
Mae jerked upright. “No. Do not bring that up.”
He sat up as well. “Mae, maybe you can doubt me, but you can’t ignore what happened tonight. Didn’t you feel it? During the fight? I could see it! There was something with you, something spurring you on. You’re one of the elect.”
“Elect?”
“Someone a god has staked out and chosen. You’ve got one following you, and Callista’s right. It’s a hell of a lot more dangerous than my ravens.”
“Nothing’s following me or choosing me or whatever you insane people want to believe,” she exclaimed. No way would she tell him how terrifying that knife fight had been—terrifying and exhilarating to have that tremendous, dark power filling her and driving her, making her invincible. “You saw the implant in action, that’s all. It has that effect in battle sometimes. All the chemicals get churning and—”
“That wasn’t the implant. And I’m pretty sure the implant didn’t protect you from Golden Arrow’s drug either. I think that was your unwelcome patron. Leo said you shouldn’t have been that impervious.”
“Leo can’t figure out that faked video,” she retorted. “He’s not the genius you think.”
Justin was surprisingly calm. “Mae, I know you can feel it. I’ve seen the fear in you afterward—and I’ve seen it. This thing that wants you to serve it. And when we were in the Lady of the Book’s temple, the ravens say another god made a play for you. They say you’re the kind of person that gods want to—”
“No more.” Mae scooted off the bed and stood up. She’d hoped he’d forgotten about the statue, but she should’ve known better. Crazy or not, he didn’t forget anything. “Justin, I’m not going to report you. And I’ll accept without protest that you believe what you’ve seen is real. But don’t drag me into your philosophies. There’s nothing you can say that’s going to convince me of magic powers in the world. There might be…there might be something wrong with me, something biological. But that’s for me and a psychiatrist to work out—not a god. I don’t believe in them. I can’t. I’ve seen too many horrors in this world to think any deity could willingly allow such things. Please don’t bring this up again.”
His dark eyes held her in deep thought, but she couldn’t read him. At last, he sank back into the bed. “Okay.”