“Ember is okay.” Ridley spoke slowly, his words clear and calm. “She was injured, but it’s nothing critical, and she managed to get out with the changeling. She’s on her way home, and she’ll be here tomorrow morning. You don’t need to go after her.”
I breathed deeply, letting his words sink in, and then I nodded. “She’s okay?”
“Yes, I talked to her on the phone, and she sounded good.” He smiled crookedly, trying to reassure me.
“What about Konstantin?”
Ridley didn’t answer immediately, but he didn’t look away, so I searched his eyes, looking for a glimmer of hope, but found none. His smile fell away, and I knew the answer.
“He got away,” I surmised.
“The important thing is that both Ember and the changeling are safe,” Ridley reminded me.
“I know.”
I pulled away from him, and at first he tried to hang on, but then he let his hands fall to his sides. I ran a hand through my hair and sat back on the bed behind me. My legs felt weak, and my shoulders ached. The sudden surge of anxiety and adrenaline, followed by the news of Ember’s injury and Konstantin’s escape, left me feeling sore and out of sorts.
“I should’ve been there,” I said softly.
“No.” Ridley shook his head and came over to sit down next to me.
My legs dangled over the edge of the bed as I stared emptily at the wall in front of me, but Ridley sat so he was facing me. He rested one hand on the bed, supporting himself, and his fingers brushed against the bare skin of my thigh.
“Why did you send her and not me?” I turned to look at him, and he was so close, I could see my own reflection in his eyes.
“I knew she could handle it, and she did,” Ridley said.
“But you didn’t think I could.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then why didn’t you send me?” I asked thickly.
He swallowed, but his dark eyes never wavered from mine. “You know why.”
“I could’ve gone with. I could’ve helped her. If I had been there, maybe she wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Konstantin wouldn’t have gotten away.”
“Or maybe things could’ve gone much worse,” Ridley countered. “You don’t know what would’ve happened, and everything turned out okay.”
“No, it didn’t. He got away. Again.”
“That’s not your fault.”
“It is my fault! Because I should’ve been there, and not here doing nothing.” I looked away from him, staring down at my lap. “I should’ve killed him when I had the chance.”
“Bryn.” He reached out, putting his hand gently on my face and making me look at him. “It’s not your fault. You did everything you were supposed to do. Konstantin Black isn’t your fault.”
“Then why does it feel like he is?” I asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
“I don’t know.” He brushed his thumb along my cheek, and I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch.
His other hand moved, so that his fingers were no longer brushing against my thigh, and he pressed it against the small of my back. I felt the bed shifting, and even though my eyes were closed, I knew he was leaning in toward me.
“You should go,” I whispered, too afraid to open my eyes and see his face hovering next to mine.
“You sure?” Ridley asked, but he lowered his hand, and I felt the weight on the bed change as he moved away from me. I finally dared to open my eyes, and he was still sitting next to me, looking at me with an expression filled with concern.
“If Ember’s coming back in the morning, I should get some sleep.”
“But are you even gonna get any sleep tonight?” Ridley asked me honestly.
I gave a weak laugh. “I don’t know.”
“I could stay, keep you company until you fell asleep.”
I didn’t need him. Or at least I didn’t want to need him. But I didn’t want to push him away. Not tonight.
“Okay.” I nodded, giving in to my feelings for him, at least in some small way.
“Good.” He smiled, then slipped off his jacket. “When I came in, it looked like you were grabbing a book.”
“Yeah, I was just gonna read before I went to bed.”
“Perfect.” He stood up. “You go ahead, crawl into bed and get comfy.”
“Okay?” I was skeptical, but I did as he told me, sliding under the thick covers and lying back in my bed.
“Here’s what I’ll do,” Ridley explained as he grabbed The Count of Monte Cristo from where I’d tossed it on the couch. “I’ll read, you relax and fall asleep. Sound like a plan?”
I smiled up at him as he walked back toward me. “Sure.”
He sat down on the bed beside me, over the covers with his legs stretched out next to mine, and he cracked open the book and began to read. Eventually his gentle baritone lulled me to sleep. I didn’t actually remember falling asleep, but when I awoke with the early morning light spilling in through the windows, my head was on his chest and his arm was around me.