Jala watched him and pulled her coat tighter around herself wondering if she shouldn’t have simply left the matter alone. It was in the past, after all. It had been that look of longing that had prompted her to ask. From everything she had seen so far from Valor she couldn’t imagine him doing something so terrible that he couldn’t even set foot in his country again.
“It was about an hour into the dinner that I began to feel the effects of my excess. Thinking myself simply drunk, I politely excused myself from the company and went in search of air outside. Nesra powder takes a while to work on the system but by the time I made it to the courtyard it was coursing through my blood.” Valor gave her a meaningful look. “That’s part of why I hate Madren as much as I do. I know full-well what he put in the chocolates he gave you. I didn’t realize I had been drugged at the time, any more than I realized that the wine I had been drinking had been far stronger than the normal variety. All I knew at that time was that I was at my betrothal dinner with raging lust and if I didn’t get out of sight I would shame my entire family. I chose the stable as my refuge until I could sort through my issues and set to pacing an empty stall trying desperately to clear my head,” He sighed heavily and rubbed his face then cleared his throat. “The bastards sent my squire out to check on me. She had been scrawny when I found her but good food and travel suited her and in my care she had blossomed into a beauty. She found me pacing the stall and I tried to send her away but she refused. Being raised roughly in the lower quarters of town, it didn’t take her long to see my difficulty and all it took was a kiss. I knew she admired me and I knew she cared for me but by all the gods I wish she would have listened to me and simply left me alone.” His voice broke and he let out a ragged breath, his eyes staring off over the fields of Arovan once more. “They found us shortly after and I was arrested for rape,” he said quietly.
“But she kissed you first didn’t she?” Jala broke in.
“She was willing. It wasn’t rape. I was deep in my cups and filled with enough Nesra powder to lift a eunuch’s flag, however, so it wasn’t gentle. She was considered a child by Arovan laws as well, given that she was fifteen at the time. I fought during the arrest but all thoughts of self-defense fled as I sobered. I hated myself for what I had done and when they named it rape on the charges I didn’t deny it. I had dishonored her as well as my family with my lack of will and I was more than ready to face my punishment,” Valor said with disgust.
“What is the punishment in Arovan for that?” Jala asked softly, wondering exactly what he had been about to face so willingly.
“Castration for rape, and drawing and quartering for the violation of a child,” Valor explained calmly.
Jala blanched and stared at Valor with wide eyes. “You were willing to face that when it wasn’t truly rape?” she gasped.
“I dishonored her and my family,” Valor repeated. “I had no intent to marry her when I took her and I was not compassionate in the act. You don’t understand, Jala, she barely had enough Elder Blood to cast the magic required to become a knight. Had I gotten her with child it would have killed her. I am pure Elder Blood without a drop of common blood in my veins. Simply the power of a child of my blood would have drained her. I risked her life and took her virtue all because I was fool enough to drink too much and didn’t have the fucking willpower to tell her no, twice. I should have shown more wisdom than to drink that much around enemies.” He let out a long sigh and glanced back toward the town. “Had it not been for Sebastian and Micah I would have died for those crimes. It was Sebastian stepping forward that halted the trial and Micah’s insistence of a full investigation that saved me. That and Bridgette’s full confession on the stand and her admitting to a room filled with people that she instigated the act with a kiss and refused to leave my side when I directly ordered her to.”
“Bridgette?” Jala broken in. “As in the knight in Merro, Bridgette?” she pressed her eyes widening once more.