“Ah!” Her body shuddered with agony.
My cock stabbed painfully against my belt as Nila writhed on the pole. Dropping my hand, I grabbed the rock hard piece of flesh, rearranging its position so it didn’t snap itself in two in my trousers. “I don’t hear counting,” I growled.
“Three,” she cried.
Another lash.
“Four.”
Another.
“Five!”
With each one her back blistered, turning from un-whipped perfection to weeping rawness. The humidity of the conservatory drenched my shirt until liquid salt covered my skin. Every lash, savage hunger built inside, feeding off Nila’s pain and my own for wanting her.
My mouth watered to kiss her spine, to lick at the mess I’d caused.
I wanted to nuzzle her tears and whisper the truth of who I was.
You never can.
Just the mere thought of being honest petrified me. If I spoke it, how would I keep it hidden?
I should never have done this in such a hot place. I should never have attempted something so barbaric without shielding my mind properly. Every strike hurt Nila externally, but she couldn’t see what it did to my soul.
I struck again, breathing hard through my nose.
“Six,” Nila moaned.
The heat of the room seeped through my pores, twisting my heart, melting any frost I might’ve conjured. Every cold shard melted, turning into a cascade of warmth.
I swallowed as I drank in Nila’s exquisite form. The way she trembled but refused to let her knees buckle. The way her cheeks flushed and dark eyes sucked power from the room.
She was…magnificent.
I cocked my arm, sending the flogger to claw at her lower back.
Nila groaned loudly. “Seven.”
My arm ached as I struck again.
“Eight.”
And again.
“Nine.”
Nine down.
Twelve to go.
Shit, I was ready to collapse. I was ready to crawl to her feet and beg for her to forgive me.
Forgive me?
There was nothing to forgive. She deserved this!
I struck hard, forcing myself to stay ruthless.
“Ten!” she screeched.
My ears rang with her pain.
I gave up trying to control my emotions and surrendered.
The sooner I delivered her penance, the sooner I could undo the wrong I’d done.
Gritting my teeth, I picked up my pace. Delivering blow after blow, quicker and quicker.
“Eleven,” Nila sobbed.
“Twelve.”
“Thirteen.” Her voice broke and a glistening tear slicked down her cheek.
It cleaved my fucking heart.
“Fourteen!”
Sweat poured down my face as I hit again and again. My breathing matched hers. I’d never been so turned on in all my life or so fucking disgusted.
It made me face things I’d hidden deep, deep inside. It drew ghosts and terrors all into confrontation. I needed to run. Before I lost myself.
But I couldn’t leave. I knew in my heart, I wouldn’t be able to walk away from this without fucking her. There was nothing on this earth that would stop me from taking her the moment I’d finished the last lash. I didn’t care I wasn’t supposed to touch her until the Third Debt.
I don’t fucking care.
Everything was on the line. Everything that before had been enough to keep me subservient and in my father’s pocket, now wasn’t.
I’d been obedient. Loyal. Done everything he ever asked of me.
But that was before I found something I wanted more than what my future held.
My cock rippled with pre-cum as I struck.
“Fifteen!”
Nila was mine.
I wanted her.
I’d take her.
I grunted as I swung again, throwing my body weight into the strike.
“Sixteen.” She shifted, pressing her forehead against the post. Her hair stuck to the blood oozing on her shoulders. She gasped, dragging in air as if she drowned.
“Seventeen!” she screamed as I drew forth more crimson agony. Her abused, glowing skin split, sprinkling rusty droplets down her ribcage.
My eyes glazed; I stumbled closer.
I’m sorry.
You’re not sorry.
I needed to touch her. Heal her. Fuck her.
My arm bellowed as I delivered three in quick succession.
“Eighteen.”
“Nineteen.”
“Twenty!” Nila collapsed, her knees buckling. Her weight transferred entirely to the cuffs.
My arm fell by my side. I could barely stand. My lungs sucked in air as if I were dying; my heartbeat existed everywhere, vibrating in the plants around us, roaring in my ears.
One more.
Do it.
I looked to the camera hidden in the ferns. My father would watch this later and reprimand me for being affected. He would see the glaze in my eyes, the desire on my face. He would make me pay for not freezing her first. He would destroy all the warmth that now existed in my heart and take me back to the person I hated.
That was my future.
But this was our present.
This was ours.
I struck. Hard. Too hard. Too fucking hard. My mind couldn’t free itself from things Nila would never understand. Her world was black and white. Betrayal versus love. Truth versus deception.
My world was different. So very, very different.
“Twenty-one!” Nila let go of her frayed self-control. Sobs broke through her lips, tears cascading down ghost-white cheeks. “Please—no more. Stop.” She tried to stand but couldn’t find the strength. “Please! No—I can’t—”
Twenty-one.
The lucky number.
Her tears dragged dangerous compassion from my arctic soul, hauling me into humanness.
Bad things happened when I let myself get this way.
Terrible things that I couldn’t control.
But Nila was my undoing.
I think I’d known that the moment I tore her dress off in Milan. I had no strength to pretend—not after this. Not now.
I needed to take her. To fully claim her, so I could give in completely to the one thing I’d run from all my life.
If I took her now, there would be no turning back for me. Damn the fucking consequences.
Groaning, I threw away the flogger. “It’s over.”
Nila sobbed harder, gratefulness a sharp tang in the air.
With shaky fingers, I unbuttoned my jeans, moving forward into destruction and disrepair.
She was my prize.
Nothing would stop me from taking it.