CHAPTER SIX
Eden
I stepped into the hot shower, my mind focused on Calder the entire time. I didn't know what to think about the night before. My mind was a jumbled mess of confusion and I'd felt on the verge of tears since I'd left the gallery the day before, not entirely from sadness or despair, but just from the barrage of emotions that kept hitting me every other minute. It was overwhelming and exhausting and I'd stayed in bed until just a few minutes before. It was already past noon.
I had put my phone on my bedside table, expecting Calder would have at least texted me when he woke up. He hadn't. I didn't know what to think about that.
We'd had sex. I paused in the process of lathering my hair and bit my lip as the water rained down over me. He'd cheated on his girlfriend with me. Something about that thought made me scream inside. How on the gods' green earth could he and I ever be classified as cheating? But, technically . . . I groaned and resumed lathering my hair. It hadn't even felt like sex exactly. Or at least, it hadn't felt like the point of it was sexual satisfaction. It'd felt like a desperate clawing need to be joined in any and every way possible. Anguish gripped me when I considered the fact that that might be the last time we ever touched intimately.
I dried myself off and stood in front of the mirror in my underwear and bra, turning on the hair dryer and beginning to dry my long hair. I met my own eyes in the mirror. "He's alive," I said quietly to myself. "And that might have to be enough." I stifled a sob.
He had moved on with his life. And if he was happy, could I really ask him to throw it all away for me? We had loved each other once, desperately. I didn't doubt that. And for me, he'd always, always be the love of my life. But we were different people now. Fate had ended us. Could we pick right back up where we left off? Was it even possible? Grief hit me so intensely that I lost my breath for a minute and I set the hairdryer down and leaned against the sink, just drawing in one breath after the next.
Once I'd collected my emotions, I pulled my hair up into what I thought was a sleek ponytail and straightened my bangs. That humongous flower on the dress my mom had bought wasn't going to allow me to wear my hair down, at least not if I didn't want my hair to get eaten alive by it.
I heard a knock and called, "Come in."
Molly opened the door, beautiful in a deep blue, strapless dress, her hair curled and hanging loose. I jealously took in her simple, elegant beauty. I wasn't going to look quite as elegant in the little girl dress my mom had chosen. But I could hardly muster up any anger over it when my heart was so filled with confusion.
Molly hugged me, holding me away from her for a minute. "Are you okay?" she asked, taking me in worriedly.
I breathed out, but then my face crumpled and I shook my head, no.
"Oh Eden," Molly said, hugging me again. "I can't even imagine what you're going through. It's unbelievable." She pulled away, holding my arms. "But he's alive," she whispered, her eyes growing large in her face. "You were just telling me about him, and now you've found out he's alive."
I nodded, sniffling. "I know, I know," I said. "And that's what I have to focus on. The rest . . ."
Molly stepped away. "Yeah . . . the rest." She bit her lip. "That's going to be the hard part."
I nodded, taking in a big breath and letting it out.
"Do you think you'll be okay going to this party today?" She frowned. "I told Carolyn she should cancel it, but she thinks it will do you good." She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Carolyn has a tendency to see things the way she wants to see them sometimes. She means well . . . mostly. I filled her in on what I knew about Calder."
"Thank you." I leaned back on my desk and crossed my arms over my chest. "And maybe the distraction of the party will do me good. The other option is to stay in bed all day. My emotions are such a jumbled mess. I don't even know what I'm thinking from one minute to the next."
Molly sighed. "Yeah." She furrowed her brow. "Do you think you'll talk to him today? What did you decide last night?"
Molly had picked me up from Calder's apartment, but I had been too weary to even speak. I'd gone straight up to my room and fallen into my bed. I had needed the escape of sleep.
"I told him I'd call him after the party." I frowned, trying not to tear up. "I thought he'd have at least contacted me by now though." I felt tears prick my eyes. "It's complicated, I guess. He has a girlfriend. He practically lives with her."
Molly's face fell. "God, Eden, I'm sorry. I heard the girlfriend part. I didn't know he lives with her. Still though, obviously he chooses you, right?"
I bit my lip, thinking about her question. "I don't know. I mean . . . I think maybe, but how will I know for sure I'm the one he really wants? I mean, he says he doesn't love her, but does he feel an obligation to be with me? We're both different people now. God, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact he's alive, that he made it out."
Molly nodded, studying me. "It's a pretty unbelievable story," she said. "Jaw dropping, actually. And I haven't even heard all the details."
I opened my mouth to speak when Carolyn breezed into the room.
"Good morning, Eden sweetheart," she said, coming over to me and hugging me tightly. "Are you all right?" Her eyes moved over my face as if looking for damage.
I shrugged. "Not so much, Mom. But I think I will be."
"Well of course you will be." Her eyes were large pools of sympathy. "This party will be the perfect thing to get your mind off that boy."
I frowned. "I don't want to get him off my mind."
She waved her hand around. "Well you know what I mean, of course. As wonderful as it is to know that your friends survived that awful flood," she shivered, "he's involved with another woman and has moved on with his life." She frowned. "That must be awfully disappointing. But, darling Eden, you have your whole life in front of you. It's for the best that you move on, too, don't you think? Find a nice boy who doesn't remind you constantly of that terrible, terrible place?"
"Do you mean remind you of that terrible, terrible place?" Molly asked sharply from behind her.
Carolyn looked over at her, hurt registering in her expression. "I think it's best for all of us to look to the future, not to the tragedy of the past," she said.
Molly let out a breath. "I didn't mean to be harsh, Carolyn" she said. She frowned and glanced at me. "I just think we need to let Eden decide what's best for her life. We need to let Eden decide what she's ready to move on from and when."
I let out a breath, feeling thankful for Molly. In such a short period of time, she had become not just a cousin, but more like a very dear sister. Something I had never had. Somehow she knew me well even though we’d never met before a month ago. I knew she had my back and it helped me to be more patient with Carolyn.
My mom looked back at me. "Well, of course." She tilted her head and smiled. "I just hope that you'll let your mom help and guide you, too, my darling girl. I like to think I've come by some wisdom in this long lifetime of mine. And I've missed out on mothering you. Please, have it in your heart to let me do some of that now."
I let out a breath. "Of course I do. Thank you, Mom." I hugged her again and then turned to my dresser where I intended to grab the tights my mom had bought me.
My mom and Molly both gasped out and I turned back to them, startled. "What?" I asked sharply.
"What happened to you?" My mom cried out.
"Huh?"
My mom led me to my mirror and turned me around. I looked over my shoulder, my stomach dropping. There were bruises and finger marks all over my back, my thighs, and my shoulders. "Oh, uh . . ."
Molly started laughing softly and when I glanced at her in the mirror she smacked her hand over her mouth.
My face felt hot when I turned toward my mom. Hers was as white as a ghost. "Can we just pretend you didn't see this?" I asked.
Her lips became a thin line. "Did he hurt you?"
"No!" I shook my head vehemently. "He would never hurt me. Mom . . . things just got . . . um, enthusiastic. There were a lot of emotions involved in our . . . reunion. God." I put my head in my hands. "Can we please just set this aside. Physically, I'm fine. I promise."
She stared at me for a minute and then let out what sounded like a resigned breath. "As long as he didn't intentionally hurt you," she said.
"No, I promise you. Never."
My mom seemed to consider something for a minute and her expression softened. "Eden, darling," she took my hand in hers. "You and I should have a nice, little mother/daughter talk." She smiled brightly. "Boys will want things from you, honey, and—"
I groaned. "Mom," I took a deep breath and gave her a smile. "I'm aware of what goes on between men and women when they're in love."
Disappointment clouded my mom's expression. "Oh. Okay. Well, we'll chat about that a little more another time. Get dressed and meet me downstairs. The guests should be arriving in a couple hours, and I have a few things I was hoping you girls would help me with."
Molly gave me one last sympathetic look and left the room, too. I checked my phone and my heart dropped to see there still weren't any messages. Did Calder regret the night before? Had he started questioning his feelings for me? Had he reconsidered what he'd said about always loving me? Anguish gripped my heart.
I retrieved the outfit my mom had picked out and started to get dressed. I pulled on the tights first—tights! As far as I knew, only little girls and ballerinas wore tights. Then again, I wasn't exactly up to date with the height of fashion. In fact, Marissa had bought every piece of clothing I owned. I frowned slightly and pulled the sheer white tights up my legs, doing a little jumping dance to get them up as high as possible.
Then I pulled on the dress and zipped the side zipper. The flower came right under my chin and I batted at it with both hands as it tickled my neck and jaw. I swear I heard it growl.
I slipped on the pale pink heels that were sitting by my bed. They were actually pretty, and not high at all, but I wobbled slightly when I walked in them. My mom probably hadn't considered the fact that this was my first pair of heels. I practiced walking around my room for a few minutes and when I felt competent enough that I wouldn't tumble down the stairs, I walked down to the kitchen where I heard my mom’s and Molly's voices.
When I walked in, they both looked over at me, my mom gasping out a smile and bringing her hands together and Molly gasping out in a different way and bringing her hand up over her mouth.
"Oh, Eden, you look beautiful," my mom said.
I smiled. "Thank you, Mom. Thanks for the dress."
My mom came over and took my hands in hers and then spun me around. "It's perfect," she sighed. She futzed with the flower, frowning slightly and then smiling when I assumed she got it to lay the way she wanted it to.
"What is that?" Molly asked, coming over to me.
She messed with the fabric flower, batting at it like I had when it sprang out of whatever position she'd tried to wrangle it into.
I leaned toward her. "Don't anger the flower," I whispered, raising my eyebrows at her and then glancing down at it, feigning wide-eyed fear.
She snorted and my mom put her hands on her hips. "Oh stop it, you two. That flower is perfectly lovely. It's elegant and feminine. It makes a statement."
"Yeah, it says, 'I'm craaaaa-zy,'" Molly raised her voice and sang out the last word in a high-soprano.
I burst out laughing, clutching my stomach. Molly started laughing, too, and Carolyn pursed her lips at us.
"Oh fine then, if you don't like the dress," she said, looking away. "It's just that you had one similar when you were four and it was your very favorite. You wore it all the time. I just thought . . ."
I got control of my laughter, feeling suddenly guilty, and put my hand on her arm. I didn't like the dress, but her intentions weren't bad . . . mostly anyway. And I hoped it was just a phase—she was still learning who I was now. I was hard-pressed to reject motherly affection, even if it felt a little misguided. "Oh, no, no, really, it's very . . . pretty. I'm just not used to dressing up. I'll get used to it in no time." I smiled at her. "Really."
She pulled me to her, hugging me tightly. "Thank you." She pulled back, bringing her hands together. "All right, we're ready early, but there's so much to do. The florist delivered the flowers and they're in the refrigerator in the garage. Do you think you and Molly could start putting together the centerpieces?"
"Yes, we'd love to," I said, looking at Molly. Her eyes were still on the flower at my chin. I cleared my throat and she snapped her eyes up to mine.
"Oh yes. Right. The three of us, I mean, uh, the two of us would be happy to."
I snapped my lips together not to laugh and then pulled Molly with me toward the garage as my mom called behind us, "The vases are in the lower cabinet next to the refrigerator."
Molly and I assembled the centerpieces as I talked a little bit more about what had happened with Calder the night before, and about some of our history, what it'd been like for us in Acadia. Talking about it now didn't hurt quite as much. He was alive! I checked my phone repeatedly during the day but there wasn't a call or a text from him. How surreal to think of getting a text from Calder. I thought about how he hadn't even known how to use a phone three years ago. I wanted to talk to him about all the ways he'd experienced culture shock after leaving Acadia. And I wanted to share with him all the ways in which I had, too. Thinking about the boy I'd known and first fell in love with caused a strange sort of grief to move slowly through my body. Calder was back, he was alive, and yet . . . he'd never, ever again be that boy. Whether or not he was ever mine again, I'd lost that version of him forever and that ached.
Of course, I wasn't the same either. I'd changed, too.
I was interrupted in my thoughts by the peal of the doorbell. The company that was going to set up the tables, chairs, and heat lamps had arrived. I helped direct the set up and pretty soon the caterer was there. The next few hours went by in a blur of activity.
I quickly went upstairs to freshen up and check my phone again. There was one text and I held my breath as I slid my screen open.
Xander: How you doing today? Just checking in because I can. Still surreal. : )
I smiled and texted him back quickly.
Me: Doing okay. Surreal on my end, too. I can hardly believe it.
As I was putting my phone away, it dinged and I picked it right back up.
Xander: Have you heard from him today?
I frowned as I typed back.
Me: No
I waited a second and then,
Xander: You will
Me: I hope so. I'll text you later.
Xander: Sounds great
I stood there for a minute biting my lip and wondering if I would hear from Calder.
I brought my phone downstairs and left it on the counter in the kitchen so I could check it here and there.
Then the guests were arriving and I was being introduced to my mom's friends who fawned over me and hugged me, most with tears in their eyes.
Marissa brought Sophia with her and we had a small hug fest in the front foyer, even though I'd seen them both recently. My mom who had met Marissa when I first moved in, hugged her, and cried like she did each time she saw her.
We all went out to the garden, which was beautifully decorated with tables in white linens and the vases we'd arranged full of orange lilies, deeper orange and yellow roses, and sprays of tiny green berries I didn't know the name for.
Twinkle lights had been strung up in the trees and sparkled in the late afternoon sun. The sky would be growing dim soon and the heat lamps would be turned on. The whole garden had a magical feel to it, but I felt empty inside. I had longed for Calder for so long, believing I would never see him again in this lifetime, but suddenly I could, and I was still longing for him. Despair swirled in my gut. Was he with her right now? Was he deciding he wasn't going to leave her? That he'd moved on from me, and that it was best we both keep moving forward? Was it? He'd never experienced anyone else except me, well, before her anyway. Maybe it was selfish not to let him figure out what he wanted now that there were more choices than just some na?ve girl down at a spring who worshipped the ground he walked on. We were out in the world now—the big society—and there were women like Madison in it. I grabbed a glass of champagne off a nearby tray and sipped at it, pulling at the flower-beast at my chin.
"You look like you're about to make a run for it," I heard next to me and turned to a tall, good-looking blond man. He was smiling at me.
I smiled back, breathing out. "Is it that obvious?" I took another sip of the champagne and grimaced slightly.
"I don't think anyone else has noticed," he said, glancing around at the women in small groups laughing and chatting, my mother in the middle of one. She glanced over at me and waved a small wave, grinning. Her eyes were never off me for long. I smiled back. The man and I both looked back at each other and laughed softly.
"I haven't seen your mother look this happy in, well, since I've known her." He turned more fully to me. "By the way, I have the advantage here. I know your name. I'm Bentley Von Dorn."
"Oh. Yes, my cousin Molly mentioned you're our neighbor. Nice to meet you." I held out my hand and he grasped it tightly.
His lips pinched. "Oh, Molly, yes. I can only imagine what she had to say." He paused for a minute, his eyes scanning the crowd, for her I assumed. Very interesting. He shook his head slightly and smiled. "It's an honor to meet you, Eden. You're even more beautiful than your mother said. And believe me, she gushed."
I smiled. "Thank you, Bentley. That's very nice of you to say."
"Well I know it's true since I can only see a quarter of your face behind that flower, and I can still tell you're beautiful."
I looked over at him and he winked. I burst out laughing. "It's ridiculous, isn't it?" I finally managed.
Bentley reached out and moved it slightly and it sprang back to its original position. "Ouch," he said withdrawing his finger and frowning. "I think it just bit me."
I laughed harder, some of the tension and loneliness lifting, at least to a manageable level.
I chatted with Bentley, noting that once his eyes found Molly, they rarely moved away, and then I chatted with several of my mom's friends. I finally relaxed a little, although that same low buzz I'd felt deep in my blood ever since I'd first seen Calder yesterday never went away. Everyone was nice and welcoming and we all enjoyed dinner as early evening settled around us, the twinkle lights sparkling brighter and the heat lamps warming the cool air. I sat between Bentley and Molly, pretending to listen to their banter, but really my mind was focused on Calder. It was such a beautiful evening and I wanted to be spending it with him.
I snuck inside and checked my phone, but there was still no call. It was close to six, but I decided to wait to call him until the party was wrapping up and I was free to leave if he asked me to. He might not, Eden, and you have to prepare for that.
As dinner was cleared and dessert was being served, my mom made her way to the shaded area where the small, three-piece orchestra had been playing since the beginning of the party. A couple guys from the catering company set up a white screen behind her as she turned toward all the tables. Everyone grew quiet, turning to give her their attention.
"Thank you all so much for coming today," she said, smiling. "This last month has been," she brought a tissue to her eyes, "the happiest month of my life. I feel almost like I did when I first brought you home from the hospital." She laughed softly, staring in my direction. I smiled back softly at her. "I can't stop looking at you, marveling at your beauty, the miracle you're in my arms, that you're real." She sniffed, bringing the tissue to her nose. "I couldn't spend another minute without showing you off, just like I did then, to all those I love, my closest friends." She beamed at everyone sitting at the tables.
"Last week I started going through my old picture albums." She shook her head slightly. "I haven't been able to do that. All these years and I haven't been able to do that." She dabbed at her eyes again. "But looking through them brought me so much happiness. It reminded me that even though I didn't get all the years, I got some of them, and they were beautiful, just like you. I don't know what you were like when you were ten, or fourteen, or sixteen," she sniffled, "but I know what you're like at twenty-one, and I never, ever thought I would." She sniffled again and wiped her nose, a look of adoration on her face as she looked at me. I picked up a napkin and dabbed at my eyes. "And now we have the rest of our lives to make up for the time that was taken from us." She stood up taller and brought her shoulders back and smiled.
She looked over her shoulder and then moved off to the side of the big white screen as a picture of me as a baby came up behind her. I laughed softly, wiping my eyes as my own gummy smile stared back at me. More pictures came up: me as a toddler, two bottom teeth on display as I grinned, a piece of birthday cake oozing out of my chubby fist. I laughed and sniffled. I didn't remember ever looking at these photos—I didn't think I'd ever see pictures of myself as a child. There certainly would never be any from Acadia. My chest tightened.
More pictures scrolled through: the first day of school, my flaxen ponytails tied with pink ribbons, Christmases, me sitting on a pony at some kind of fair, both my mom and my dad in many of them, their arms around me. I didn't have any specific memories of those events, but just seeing what a happy childhood I had had, warmed me and brought with it a gratitude for where I was right that very minute, despite all I had lost.
I was loved. I had been loved all along. By my mother, and despite all his mistakes, by my father. And by Calder. All my life, someone had loved me. Not everyone got to say that. A deep peace settled through me and I knew that somehow, everything would be okay. I didn't know how, I didn't know why, the details were all a mystery as they always were, but sitting there in that sparkly, fragrant, festive garden, filled to overflowing with love, I knew. I might talk myself out of it later, but in that moment, I heard the whisper, and I knew.
And then he was standing there.
At the very edge of the garden, almost like he was a dream that had just materialized, he was wearing a pair of dark gray dress pants, and a white, button-down shirt with a darker tie. I stared and my lips parted in surprise as I watched him, a soft gathering of butterflies between my ribs. His hands were in his pockets and he walked closer as the slide show ended. Everyone around me started clapping, many of them wiping their eyes and smiling over at me. I looked around and smiled back and then returned my attention to Calder.
"I know what she was like at ten," he said, looking at my mom just a little bit shyly. My mom furrowed her brow slightly, but her lips tipped up in a small smile as well as she tilted her head and took him in. I'd never seen him looking more beautiful than he did right then. Calder Raynes was in front of me wearing dress clothes. The moment was dreamlike, unreal. I was rooted to my chair, gripping the back tightly as I watched to see what he would do next.
"She was a brave, little dreamer, who had an unbreakable spirit." He took a step closer. "She was mighty enough to snatch my heart right from my chest." He walked closer, standing next to my mom now, but his eyes trained on me. I blinked, my mouth still hanging open. Somewhere next to me, I heard several women murmur, "Oh my," and "Well."
Calder looked at my mom, asking silent permission to continue. She nodded her head.
"Fourteen was when she really started to glow and suddenly, I couldn't look away. I wanted to. Because where we came from, it was a dangerous thing to notice." He paused. Every person in that garden hung on his every word, seeming to collectively lean forward in anticipation of what he would say next. "Anytime she was in the room, it was like the whole place was bathed in her warmth." He tilted his head, looking thoughtful for a second. "Does that sound like an exaggeration? Maybe overly dramatic, poetic words from a boy who has loved her his whole life?" He shook his head. "They're not. It's simply the truth. Eden blossomed into a woman before my very eyes, and although there wasn't anyone there to help her do that, she did it with grace completely by herself. It's her strength, her unwavering courage, the thing that makes her the most beautiful in my eyes." His face remained serious.
My mom was staring at him now, too, a wary gentleness in her eyes. Calder walked toward me, joy flooding my heart, and tears pricking my eyes as he weaved through the tables.
"When she was sixteen, she had the power to take my very breath away. And she did it often. She made me miserable and blissful, and everything in between." He moved around the table a few in front of mine.
"I didn't know a lot about the world at the time. And as it turns out, I knew even less than I thought I did. I led a simple life. I bathed in a river until I was eighteen years old."
There was a collective sigh from the women around me and I moved my head around, looking at them and widening my eyes. "Well that's not an unwelcome vision," an old woman next to me said a little too loudly. I bit my lip, my eyes now trained on Calder.
"But what I did know was that I loved a girl. And I knew I loved her in a way I'd never, ever recover from. I knew I loved her to the very core of myself. And I knew she loved me back."
He stopped and looked back at my mom. "I also know what it feels like to lose her. I know what it feels like to have a piece of your heart missing." His voice lowered and he cleared his throat as it grew extra gravelly. My heart swelled and tears coursed down my cheeks. "I know what it feels like when the person who's your whole life is stolen from you and each day bleeds into the next in a blur of misery and longing."
My mom swiped at her eyes and hugged her body as she looked at Calder. Calder turned back to me.
"And I know what it feels like when your life is unexpectedly, miraculously returned to you." He paused. "We lived through things so horrific and unfathomable that most of the time I can't even bear to retell it all to myself." A brief look of sorrow passed over his features. "But what I've been thinking about all day today is the beauty we experienced, the love, and the wonder. I needed so much just to sit with that because somehow in the midst of the immense grief, I'd blocked out all the light, and there was so much of it, wasn't there?"
He reached my side and knelt down to where I was. I let out a small, strangled sob, nodding yes, and smiling through the tears as I brought my hand to his cheek. He leaned into it, closing his eyes. Someone handed me a napkin and I blotted at my eyes as Calder smiled up at me. As he knelt before me, I took a deep breath. He was alive. And he was here. His depth of kindness and warmth had been one of the reasons I had first fallen in love with him. He was still my same Calder.
"I'm sorry for interrupting the party," he said. "What I really came here to ask you," his eyes looked over my face, "is whether you wanted to go bowling with me?"
I blinked. "Bowling?" I asked, scrunching my face up in confusion.
"Yeah, it's this game where you knock down pins with—"
"Yes, I know what bowling is," I interrupted, laughing softly. "I'm caught up."
He grinned. "I just thought, you know, I've never had the chance to take you on a proper date and I had a feeling you'd like to bowl."
I laughed, leaning forward and placing my forehead on his. After a minute, I pulled away just a little bit and whispered, "Madison?"
Calder shook his head. "Did you even think it was a choice, Eden?" he whispered back. "For me it's not. I . . . " Looking into his eyes I saw vulnerability as if he wasn't sure of what I felt for him—how could that be? He sighed and bit his lip, and continued, "I want to make sure it's not for you either."
I opened my mouth, but the words stuck there. I shook my head back and forth.
A fresh batch of tears coursed down my cheeks. Relief filled Calder's expression before he leaned forward and kissed them away.
"Also, that's a really large flower." He nodded toward it, his eyes widening.
I laughed softly. "Shh, it's finally sleeping. Don't wake it."
We stood up and continued hugging and kissing and wiping away tears as everyone around us started clapping and whistling. I laughed up into Calder's handsome, beloved face and he smiled tenderly into mine.
I saw my mom approaching us in my peripheral vision and pulled away from Calder. She came up to us and reached out her hand saying, "I'm Carolyn." Her voice was wobbly.
"I'm Calder." Calder reached out to her and shook her hand. There was an awkward moment when their hands missed because they were both staring at me and then Calder went in to hug her and my mom turned to me and we all sort of collided. Laughing, we finally wrapped our arms around each other, standing there in a group hug as my mom and I sniffled back our tears.
When we pulled apart, Calder said, "I was wondering if I could take your daughter out tonight?" He smiled at her and then looked over at me.
My mom seemed conflicted. "Well . . ." She looked around at all the people staring anxiously at us, waiting for her to answer. She smiled a sad smile over at me and then looked at Calder. "Yes. But please bring her right back, okay? And take care of her?"
Calder nodded. "I promise."
My mom squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek. I took Calder's hand as he led me out of the garden. When I got to the edge, I turned around and waved at everyone and called, "Thank you all so much." And then we walked inside the house to the sounds of the group calling out their goodbyes.