Fifty Shades of Grey

"Back out front of the marquee and to the left."

"See you in a moment. You kids enjoy yourselves."

Ray heads out. I glance nervously up at Christian. We pause briefly as a photographer takes a picture of both of us.

"Thank you, Mr. Grey." The photographer scurries off. I blink from the flash.

"So you've charmed my father as well?"

"As well?" Christian's gray eyes burn, and he raises a questioning eyebrow. I flush.

He lifts his hand and traces my cheek with his fingers.

"Oh, I wish I knew what you were thinking, Anastasia," he whispers darkly, cupping my chin and raising my head so that we gaze intently into each other's eyes.

My breath hitches. How can he have this effect on me, even in this crowded tent?

"Right now, I'm thinking, nice tie," I breathe.

He chuckles.

"It's recently become my favorite."

I blush scarlet.

"You look lovely, Anastasia, this halter-neck dress suits you, and I get to stroke your back, feel your beautiful skin."

Suddenly, it's like we're on our own in the room. Just the two of us, my whole body has come alive, every nerve ending singing softly, that electricity pulling me to him, charging between us.

"You know it's going to be good, don't you, baby?" he whispers. I close my eyes as my insides uncoil and melt.

"But I want more," I whisper.

"More?" he looks down at me puzzled, his eyes darkening. I nod and swallow. Now he knows.

"More," he says again softly. Testing the word - a small, simple word, but so full of promise. His thumb traces my lower lip. "You want hearts and flowers."

I nod again. He blinks down at me, and I watch his internal struggle played out in his eyes."Anastasia." His voice is soft. "It's not something I know."

"Me neither."

He smiles slightly.

"You don't know much," he murmurs.

"You know all the wrong things."

"WrongNot to me." He shakes his head. He looks so sincere. "Try it," he whispers.

A challenge, daring me, and he cocks his head to one side and smiles his crooked, dazzling smile.

I gasp, and I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, and he's the serpent, and I cannot resist.

"Okay," I whisper.

"What?" I have his full, undivided attention. I swallow.

"Okay. I'll try."

"You're agreeing?" His disbelief is evident.

"Subject to the soft limits, yes. I'll try." My voice is so small. Christian closes his eyes and pulls me into an embrace.

"Jesus, Ana, you're so unexpected. You take my breath away."

He steps back, and suddenly Ray's returned, and the volume in the marquee gradually rises and fills my ears. We are not alone. Holy shit, I've just agreed to be his sub. Christian smiles at Ray, and his eyes are dancing with joy.

"Annie, should we get some lunch?"

"Okay." I blink up at Ray, trying to find my equilibrium. What have you done My subconscious screams at me. My inner goddess is doing back flips in a routine worthy of a Russian Olympic gymnast.

"Would you like to join us, Christian?" Ray asks.

Christian! I stare up at him, imploring him to refuse. I need space to think... what the f*ck have I done?

"Thank you, Mr. Steele, but I have plans. It's been great to meet you, sir."

"Likewise," Ray responds. "Look after my baby girl."

"Oh, I fully intend to, Mr. Steele."

They shake hands. I feel sick. Ray has no idea how Christian intends to look after me. Christian takes my hand and raises it to his lips and kisses my knuckles tenderly, his scorching eyes intent on mine.

"Later, Miss Steele," he breathes, his voice full of promise.

My belly curls at the thought... oh my. Hang on... later?

Ray takes my elbow and leads me toward the entrance to the tent.

"Seems a solid young man. Well-off too. You could do a lot worse, Annie. Though why I had to hear about him from Katherine," he scolds.

I shrug apologetically.

"Well, any man who likes and knows his fly-fishing is okay with me."

Holy cow - Ray approves. If only he knew.

Ray drops me back at the house at dusk.

"Call your mom," he says.

"I will. Thanks for coming, Dad."

"Wouldn't have missed it for the world, Annie. You make me so proud."

Oh no. I'm not going to get emotional. A huge lump forms in my throat, and I hug him, hard. He puts his arms around me, bemused, and I can't help it - tears pool in my eyes."Hey, Annie, sweetheart," Ray croons. "Big old day... ehWant me to come in and make you some tea?"

I laugh, in spite of my tears. Tea is always the answer according to Ray. I remember my mother complaining about him, saying that when it came to tea and sympathy, he was always good at the tea, not so hot on the sympathy.

"No, Dad, I'm good. It's been so great to see you. I'll visit real soon once I'm settled in Seattle."

"Good luck with the interviews. Let me know how they go."

"Sure thing, Dad."

"Love you, Annie."

"Love you too, Dad."

He smiles, his brown eyes warm, glowing, and he climbs back into his car. I wave him off as he drives into the dusk, and I wander listlessly back into the apartment.

First thing I do is check my cell phone. It needs recharging, so I have to hunt down the charger and plug it in before I can collect my messages. Four missed calls, one voice message, and two texts. Three missed calls from Christian... no messages. One missed call from Jose and a voice mail from him wishing me all the best for graduation.

I open the texts.

*Are you home safe*

*Call me*

They are both from Christian, why didn't he call the houseI head into my bedroom and fire up the mean machine.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Tonight

Date: May 25 2011 23:58

To: Anastasia Steele

I hope you made it home in that car of yours.

Let me know if you're okay.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

Jeez... why is he so worried about my Beetle. It has given me three years of loyal service, and Jose has always been on hand to maintain it for me. Christian's next email is from today.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Soft Limits

Date: May 26 2011 17:22

To: Anastasia Steele

What can I say that I haven't already?

Happy to talk these through anytime.

You looked beautiful today.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

I want to see him. I hit reply

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Soft Limits

Date: May 26 2011 19:23

To: Christian Grey

I can come over this evening to discuss if you'd like.

Ana

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Soft Limits

Date: May 26 2011 19:27

To: Anastasia Steele

I'll come to you. I meant it when I said I wasn't happy about you driving that car.

I'll be with you shortly.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

Holy crap... he's coming over now. I have to get one thing ready for him - the first edition Thomas Hardy books are still on the shelves in the living room. I cannot keep them. I wrap them in brown paper, and I scrawl on the wrapping a direct quote from Tess from the book:

"Hi." I feel unbearably shy when I open the door. Christian is standing on the porch in his jeans and leather jacket.

"Hi," he says, and his face lights up with his radiant smile. I take a moment to admire the pretty. Oh my, he's hot in leather.

"Come in."

"If I may," he says amused. He holds up a bottle of champagne as he walks in. "I thought we'd celebrate your graduation. Nothing beats a good Bollinger."

"Interesting choice of words," I comment dryly.

He grins.

"Oh, I like your ready wit, Anastasia."

"We only have teacups. We've packed all the glasses."

"TeacupsSounds good to me."

I head into the kitchen. Nervous, butterflies flooding my stomach, it's like having a panther or mountain lion all unpredictable and predatory in my living room.

"Do you want saucers as well?"

"Teacups will be fine, Anastasia," Christian calls distractedly from the living room.

When I return, he's staring at the brown parcel of books. I place the cups on the table.

"That's for you," I murmur anxiously.

Crap... this is probably going to be a fight.

"Hmm, I figured as much. Very apt quote." His long index finger absently traces the writing. "I thought I was D'Urberville, not Angel. You decided on the debasement." He gives me a brief wolfish smile. "Trust you to find something that resonates so appropriately."

"It's also a plea," I whisper. Why am I so nervous My mouth is dry.

"A pleaFor me to go easy on you?"

I nod.

"I bought these for you," he says quietly his gaze impassive. "I'll go easier on you if you accept them."

I swallow convulsively.

"Christian, I can't accept them, they're just too much."

"You see, this is what I was talking about, you defying me. I want you to have them, and that's the end of the discussion. It's very simple. You don't have to think about this.

As a submissive you would just be grateful for them. You just accept what I buy you because it pleases me for you to do so."

"I wasn't a submissive when you bought them for me," I whisper.

"No... but you've agreed, Anastasia." His eyes turn wary.

I sigh. I am not going to win this, so over to plan B.

"So they are mine to do with as I wish?"

He eyes me suspiciously, but concedes.

"Yes."

"In that case, I'd like to give them to a charity, one working in Darfur since that seems to be close to your heart. They can auction them."

"If that's what you want to do." His mouth sets into a hard line. He's disappointed.

I flush.

"I'll think about it," I murmur, I don't want to disappoint him, and his words come back to me. I want you to want to please me.

"Don't think, Anastasia. Not about this." His tone is quiet and serious.

How can I not thinkYou can pretend to be a car, like his other possessions, my subconscious makes an unwelcome vitriolic return. I ignore her. Oh, can't we rewindThe atmosphere between us is now tense. I don't know what to do. I stare down at my fingers.

How do I retrieve this situation?

He puts the champagne bottle on the table and stands in front of me. Putting his hand under my chin, he tilts my head up. He gazes down at me, his expression grave.

"I will buy you lots of things, Anastasia. Get used to it. I can afford it. I'm a very wealthy man." He leans down and plants a swift, chaste kiss on my lips. "Please." He releases me.

'Ho' my subconscious mouths at me.

"It makes me feel cheap," I murmur.

Christian runs his hand through his hair, exasperated.

"It shouldn't. You're over-thinking it, Anastasia. Don't place some vague moral judgment on yourself based on what others might think. Don't waste your energy. It's only because you have reservations about our arrangement, that's perfectly natural. You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

I frown, trying to process his words.

"Hey, stop this," he commands softly, cupping my chin again and pulling at it gently so I release my lower lip from my teeth. "There is nothing about you that is cheap, Anastasia.

I won't have you thinking that. I just bought you some old books that I thought might mean something to you, that's all. Have some champagne." His eyes warm and soften, and I smile tentatively back up at him. "That's better," he murmurs. He picks up the champagne, takes off the foil top and cage, twists the bottle rather than the cork, and opens it with a small pop and a practiced flourish that doesn't spill a drop. He half fills the cups.

"It's pink," I murmur, surprised.

"Bollinger Grande Annee Rose 1999, an excellent vintage," he says with relish.

"In teacups."

He grins.

"In teacups. Congratulations on your degree, Anastasia." We clink cups, and he takes a drink, but I can't help thinking this is really about my capitulation.

"Thank you," I murmur and take a sip. Of course it's delicious. "Shall we go through the soft limits?"

He smiles, and I blush.

"Always so eager." Christian takes my hand and leads me to the couch where he sits and tugs me down beside him.

"You're stepfather's a very taciturn man."

Oh... not soft limits then. I just want to get this out of the way; the anxiety is gnawing at me.

"You managed to have him eating out of your hand." I pout.

Christian laughs softly.

"Only because I know how to fish."

"How do you know he liked fishing?"

"You told me. When we went for coffee."

"Oh... did I?" I take another sip. Wow he has a memory for detail. Hmm... this champagne really is very good. "Did you try the wine at the reception?"

Christian makes a face.

"Yes. It was foul."

"I thought of you when I tasted it. How did you get to be so knowledgeable about wine?"

"I'm not knowledgeable, Anastasia, I just know what I like." His gray eyes shine, almost silver, and it makes me flush. "Some more?" he asks, referring to the champagne.

"Please."

Christian rises gracefully and collects the bottle. He fills my cup. Is he getting me tipsyI eye him suspiciously.

"This place looks pretty bare, are you ready for the move?"

"More or less."

"Are you working tomorrow?"

"Yes, my last day at Clayton's"

"I'd help you move, but I promised to meet my sister at the airport."

Oh... this is news.

"Mia arrives from Paris very early Saturday morning. I'm heading back to Seattle tomorrow, but I hear Elliot is giving you two a hand."

"Yes, Kate is very excited about that."

Christian frowns.

"Yes, Kate and Elliot, who would have thought?" he murmurs, and for some reason, he doesn't look pleased.

"So what are you doing about work in Seattle?"

When are we going to talk about the limitsWhat's his game?

"I have a couple of interviews for intern places."

"You were going tell me this when?" He arches a brow.

"Err... I'm telling you now."

He narrows his eyes.

"Where?"

For some reason, possibly because he might use his influence, I don't want to tell him.

"A couple of publishing houses."

"Is that what you want to do, something in publishing?"

I nod warily.

"Well?" He looks at me patiently wanting more information.

"Well what?"

"Don't be obtuse, Anastasia, which publishing houses?" he scolds.

"Just small ones," I murmur.

"Why don't you want me to know?"

"Undue influence."

He frowns.

"Oh, now you're being obtuse."

He laughs.

"ObtuseMeGod, you're challenging. Drink up, let's talk about these limits." He fishes out another copy of my email and the list. Does he wander about with these lists in his pocketsI think there's one in his jacket that I have. Shit, I'd better not forget that. I drain my cup.

He glances quickly at me.

"More?"

"Please."

He smiles that oh-so-smug-private smile of his, holds the champagne bottle up, and pauses.

"Have you eaten anything?"

Oh no... not this old chestnut.

"Yes. I had a three course meal with Ray." I roll my eyes at him. The champagne is making me bold.

He leans forward and holds my chin, staring intently into my eyes.

"Next time you roll your eyes at me, I will take you across my knee."

What?!

"Oh," I breathe, and I can see the excitement in his eyes.

"Oh," he responds, mirroring my tone. "So it begins, Anastasia."

My heart slams against my chest, and the butterflies escape from my stomach into my constricting throat. Why is that hot?

He fills my cup, and I drink practically all of it. Chastened, I stare up at him.

"Got your attention now, haven't I?"

I nod.

"Answer me."

"Yes... you've got my attention."

"Good," he smiles a knowing smile. "So sexual acts. We've done most of this."

I move closer to him on the couch and glance down at the list.

APPENDIX 3

Soft Limits

To be discussed and agreed between both parties:

Which of the following sexual acts are acceptable to the Submissive?

Masturbation

Fellatio

Cunnilingus

Vaginal intercourse

Vaginal fisting

Anal intercourse

Anal fisting

"No fisting, you say. Anything else you object to?" he asks softly.

I swallow.

"Anal intercourse doesn't exactly float my boat."

"I'll agree to the fisting, but I'd really like to claim your ass, Anastasia. But we'll wait for that. Besides, it's not something we can dive into," he smirks at me. "Your ass will need training."

"Training?" I whisper.

"Oh yes. It'll need careful preparation. Anal intercourse can be very pleasurable, trust me. But if we try it and you don't like it, we don't have to do it again." He grins down at me. I blink up at him. He thinks I'll enjoy itHow does he know it's pleasurable?

"Have you done that?" I whisper.

"Yes."

Holy crap. I gasp.

"With a man?"

"No. I've never had sex with a man. Not my scene."

"Mrs. Robinson?"

"Yes."

Holy shit... how I frown. He moves on down the list.

"Okay... swallowing semen. Well, you get an A in that."

I flush, and my inner goddess smacks her lips together glowing with pride.

"So." He looks down at me grinning. "Swallowing semen okay?"

I nod, not able to look him in the eye, and drain my cup again.

"More?" he asks.

"More." And I'm suddenly reminded of our conversation earlier today as he refills my cup. Is he referring to that or just the champagneIs this whole champagne thing more?

"Sex toys?" he asks.

I shrug, glancing down the list.

Is the use of sex toys acceptable to the Submissive?

Vibrators

Dildos

Butt Plugs

Other

"Butt plugDoes it do what it says on the tin?" I scrunch my nose up in distaste.

"Yes," he smiles. "And I refer to anal intercourse above. Training."

"Oh... what's in other?"

"Beads, eggs... that sort of stuff."

"Eggs?" I'm alarmed.

"Not real eggs," he laughs loudly, shaking his head.

I purse my lips at him.

"I'm glad you find me funny." I can't keep my injured feelings out of my voice.

He stops laughing.

"I apologize. Miss Steele, I'm sorry," he says, trying to look contrite, but his eyes are still dancing with humor. "Any problem with toys?"

"No," I snap.

"Anastasia," he cajoles. "I am sorry. Believe me. I don't mean to laugh. I've never had this conversation in so much detail. You're just so inexperienced. I'm sorry." His eyes are big and gray and sincere.

I thaw a little and take another sip of champagne.

"Right - bondage," he says, returning to the list. I examine the list, and my inner goddess bounces up and down like a small child waiting for ice cream.

Is Bondage acceptable to the Submissive?

Hands in front Hands behind back

Ankles Knees

Elbows

Wrists to ankles

Spreader bars

Tied to furniture

Blindfolding

Gagging

Bondage with Rope

Bondage with Tape

Bondage with leather cuffs

Suspension

Bondage with handcuffs/metal restraints

"We've talked about suspension. And it's fine if you want to set that up as a hard limit. It takes a great deal of time, and I only have you for short periods of time anyway.

Anything else?"

"Don't laugh at me, but what's a spreader bar?"

"I promise not to laugh. I've apologized twice." He glares at me. "Don't make me do it again," he warns. And I think I visibly shrink... oh, he's so bossy. "A spreader is a bar with cuffs for ankles and/or wrists. They're fun."

"Okay... Well gagging me. I'd be worried I wouldn't be able to breathe"

"I'd be worried if you couldn't breathe. I don't want to suffocate you."

"And how will I use safe words if I'm gagged?"

He pauses.

"First of all, I hope you never have to use them. But if you're gagged, we'll use hand signals," he says simply.

I blink up at him. But if I'm trussed up, how's that going to workMy brain is beginning to fog... hmm alcohol.

"I'm nervous about the gagging."

"Okay. I'll take note."

I stare up at him, realization dawning.

"Do you like tying your submissives up so they can't touch you?"

He gazes at me, his eyes widening.

"That's one of the reasons," he says quietly.

"Is that why you've tied my hands?"

"Yes."

"You don't like talking about that," I murmur.

"No, I don't. Would you like another drinkIt's making you brave, and I need to know how you feel about pain."

Holy crap... this is the tricky part. He refills my teacup, and I sip.

"So, what's your general attitude to receiving pain?" Christian looks expectantly at me.

"You're biting your lip," he says darkly.

I stop immediately, but I don't know what to say. I flush and stare down at my hands.

"Were you physically punished as a child?"

"No."

"So you have no sphere of reference at all?"

"No."

"It's not as bad as you think. Your imagination is your worst enemy in this," he whispers.

"Do you have to do it?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Goes with the territory, Anastasia. It's what I do. I can see you're nervous. Let's go through methods."

He shows me the list. My subconscious runs, screaming, and hides behind the couch.

Spanking

Paddling

Whipping

Caning

Biting

Nipple clamps

Genital clamps

Ice

Hot wax

Other types/methods of pain

"Well, you said no to genital clamps. That's fine. It's caning that hurts the most."

I blanch.

"We can work up to that."

"Or not do it at all," I whisper.

"This is part of the deal, baby, but we'll work up to all of this. Anastasia, I won't push you too far."

"This punishment thing, it worries me the most." My voice is very small.

"Well, I'm glad you've told me. We'll keep caning off the list for now. And as you get more comfortable with this stuff, we'll increase intensity. We'll take it slow."

I swallow, and he leans forward and kisses me on my lips.

"There, that wasn't so bad was it?"

I shrug, my heart in mouth again.

"Look, I want to talk about one more thing, then I'm taking you to bed."

"Bed?" I blink rapidly, and my blood pounds round my body, warming places I didn't know existed until very recently.

"Come on, Anastasia, talking through all this, I want to f*ck you into next week, right now. It must be having some effect on you too."

I squirm. My inner goddess is panting.

"SeeBeside, there's something I want to try."

"Something painful?"

"No - stop seeing pain everywhere. It's mainly pleasure. Have I hurt you yet?"

I flush.

"No."

"Well then. Look, earlier today you were talking about wanting more," he halts, uncertain all of a sudden.

Oh my... where's this going?

He clasps my hand.

"Outside of the time you're my sub, perhaps we could try. I don't know if it will work.

I don't know about separating everything. It may not work. But I'm willing to try. Maybe one night a week. I don't know."

Holy cow... my mouth drops open, my subconscious is in shock, Christian Grey is up for more! He's willing to try! My subconscious peeks out from behind the couch, still registering shock on her harpy face.

"I have one condition." He looks warily at my stunned expression.

"What?" I breathe. Anything. I'll give you anything.

"You graciously accept my graduation present to you."

"Oh." And deep down I know what it is. Dread spawns in my belly.

He's staring down at me, gauging my reaction.

"Come," he murmurs and rises, dragging me up. Taking his jacket off, he drapes it over my shoulders and heads for the door.

Parked outside is a red hatchback car, a two-door compact Audi.

"It's for you. Happy graduation," he murmurs, pulling me into his arms and kissing my hair.

He's bought me a damned car, brand new by the looks of it. Jeez... I've had enough trouble with the books. I stare at it blankly, trying desperately to determine how I feel about this. I am appalled on one level, grateful on another, shocked that he's actually done it, but the overriding emotion is anger. Yes, I'm angry, especially after everything I told him about the books... but then he'd already bought this. Taking my hand, he leads me down the path toward this new acquisition.

"Anastasia, that Beetle of yours is old and frankly dangerous. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you when it's so easy for me to make it right," he trails off. His eyes are on me, but at the moment I cannot bring myself to look at him. I stand silently staring at its awesome bright red newness.

"I mentioned it to your stepfather. He was all for it," he murmurs.

Turning, I glare at him, my mouth open in horror.

"You mentioned this to Ray. How could you?" I can barely spit the words out. How dare he Poor Ray. I feel sick, mortified for my dad.

"It's a gift, Anastasia. Can't you just say thank you?"

"But you know it's too much."

"Not to me it isn't, not for my peace of mind."

I frown at him, at a loss what to say. He just doesn't get it! He's had money all his life.

Okay, not all his life - not as a small child - and my world-view shifts. The thought is very sobering, and I soften towards the car, feeling guilty about my fit of pique. His intentions are good, misguided, but not from a bad place.

"I'm happy for you to loan this to me, like the laptop."

He sighs heavily.

"Okay. On loan. Indefinitely." He looks warily at me.

"No, not indefinitely, but for now. Thank you."

He frowns. I reach up and kiss him briefly on his cheek.

"Thank you for the car, sir." I say as sweetly as I can manage.

He grabs me suddenly and yanks me up against him, one hand at my back holding me to him and the other fisting in my hair.