Another man.
Lombardi.
When all this time I resented him, had my father as the villain…he’s not even my father.
I screw up my face in tears and I fill my glass again and I drain it down.
My entire life is a lie, brought up as Linden, told I was a Ferrara and now…my stomach twists at the reality of how fucked-up this situation really is.
I get a vision of my mother and father kissing, so besotted with each other.
She declared her undying love. She slept with someone else.
My stomach rolls with nausea.
Who am I?
I don’t even know who.
I run my two hands through my hair and as the perspiration beads on my forehead, I begin to pace.
Francesca
My procession of cars pulls into the underground parking lot just on six p.m., I just did a spin class with Anna.
I see Giuliano’s black Lamborghini parked in his parking bay and I get a little thrill.
Coming home to him will never get old.
I take the elevator to the top floor and open the door to silence. “Babe?” I call.
Where is he?
I walk through the apartment. “Jules,” I call. “Where are you?” I keep looking around and go out onto the terrace. “Jules?”
Hmm, that’s weird.
Maybe he didn’t take his car today? I can’t remember if it was there when I left this morning. I call Davidoff.
“Hello, Miss Ferrara.”
“Is Giuliano at home?” I ask as I try to sound casual.
“Yes, I believe so. He arrived home around lunchtime.”
“Oh.” He must be down in his apartment. “Thank you, I’ll call him.” I hang up.
I’ve been home all afternoon and haven’t seen him.
Weird.
I get into the elevator and go down to his floor, the door to his apartment isn’t locked and the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention.
Fuck.
What’s going on?
I slowly push it open and walk in, the apartment is in shadows as night creeps in.
“Jules,” I call into the silence.
I catch sight of his foot, he’s sitting on the floor up against the wall in the darkness.
His haunted eyes meet mine, and my heart drops.
“What’s wrong?” I rush to him and I drop to the floor beside him.
He stares at me, devastation written all over his face. “One of us is a Ferrara and one of us isn’t.” He smells of scotch and cigars.
I frown, huh?
“But it’s not the way we thought.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not the Ferrara,” he whispers sadly.
“What?”
He holds up a crinkled envelope.
I snatch it off him and tear it open, it’s DNA analysis. “I don’t understand.”
“I thought she loved him,” he whispers.
Oh….
I take him into my arms and hold him tight, he screws up his face into my neck as emotion overwhelms him.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It will be okay.” I try to calm him. “It changes nothing.”
“Don’t you see, Francesca,” he murmurs. “It changes everything.”
Giuliano
“Can I get you something, baby?” Francesca asks me.
“No.”
She’s been hovering and fussing around me, trying to make me feel better.
If only she could.
The destructive thoughts are so noisy in my head that I just want to escape to somewhere. But where would I go?
The truth would follow.
The doorbell sounds.
“Who’s that?” Francesca asks.
“I’m not home,” I sigh.
“It’s probably Anna, I’ll get rid of her.” She answers the door. “Mom,” she gasps.
Fuck.
“Hello, darling.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, I can’t deal with her now.
“Now is not a good time,” I hear Francesca tell her.
“I’m not here to see you, I’m here to see Giuliano.”
“No, Mom.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I said not now,” Francesca calls but it’s obvious Bianca has barged past her.
Bianca comes into view as she stands at the door. “Hello, Giuliano,” she says softly.
I get a lump in my throat, she’s here to gloat.
My haunted eyes hold hers, everything she ever thought of me…is true.
“Francesca, leave us alone, please,” she says.
“No. Now is not the time and you are not upsetting him further. Do you hear me!”
“I need to speak to Giuliano…alone.”
“No.” Francesca begins to get irate. “I want you to leave. Now!”
May as well get this over with.
“It’s okay,” I reply, I don’t want her to have to hear this conversation. The last thing I want is her upset even more. “It’s fine, Chesk. Go for a walk.”
She frowns.
“It’s okay, go.” I give her a soft smile and she walks over and kisses my forehead. “I’ll be back in ten minutes,” she warns her mother, I hear the front door click as she leaves through it.
Bianca stays standing by the door and I stay seated on the couch.
Silence hangs between us.
She walks into the room and sits down on the ottoman opposite me.
I can’t even look at her.
“I’m here on your mother’s behalf.”
I roll my lips as my vision clouds. I’ve never been more disappointed in another human being than I am with my mother.
“Giuliano,” she says softly. “Look at me.”
I drag my eyes to meet hers and she does the most unexpected thing, taking my two hands in hers. “Darling, I know this is hard for you to comprehend.”
I stare at her, distant from the conversation but at the same time my heart tearing right open.
Empathy from this woman is the last thing I ever wanted.
“You mother, Giuliano. She had a hard time, she was desperately in love with a married man.”
The lump in my throat threatens to block my breathing.
“Your father…. Despite what you’ve been told, and what you always believed, loved his wife. And it is true that if he had a choice, he would have married your mother instead of me. She was his one true love, his soul mate. He told me that hurtful knowledge many times over the years.”
She squeezes my hands in hers.
“But your father wouldn’t end his marriage and sometimes he and your mother would fight about it…for weeks at a time.”
I roll my lips.
“You must understand, Giuliano, she was left in that big old house alone, for weeks at a time. No family, minimal friends. Her guards were the only people she could trust.”
“You’re defending her?” I spit.
“I understand her…better than anyone, I understand her.” She smiles sadly. “I lived your mother’s life from a different angle. And she is not the only Ferrara woman who got too close to her bodyguard. We both loved him, we both missed him when he was with the other, we all suffered. Your father…too.”
“He’s not my father,” I reply flatly.
She squeezes my hands in hers, bringing my attention back to her face.
“Yes. He is. He loved you so, so much, Giuliano. You were the child he desperately wanted. He was so proud of you and you gave him so much happiness.”
My eyes well with tears and I know what I must do. “I’ll pass everything at work on to Andrea, Lorenzo can help him.”
“You will do no such thing,” she snaps.