“Dad found this guy—Colin—a real scumbag. Colin was a big shot on one of the forums, so Dad told Alex to make friends with him and get the password. He told him to do whatever it took. ‘Get the password, Alex. Just get that password.’”
She sounded so bitter. Audrey felt bitter too, bitter and angry. “Colin was a cokehead, and the only way to get to him was to supply him with drugs. So Alex would sell him coke, and Colin wanted him to sit there and do it with him, so that’s what Alex did for two months. Finally, Colin ODed. He took too many drugs, and they killed him. We did get the password to the forum, and Dad bought a bunch of numbers. Drained our reserves completely. And then on the fifth ATM he hit, an off-duty cop noticed him feeding a bunch of cards into the machine, and Dad got arrested. It was a huge mess. When Dad got out three months later on some technicality, he and Mom put Alex into rehab, but it was too late. He likes . . . liked being an addict. It was an easier life than being Dad’s errand boy all the time, and he would guilt-trip Dad into buying him drugs. He never stopped after that. All we did from that point on was work to get enough money to put Alex into a new rehab.”
Audrey paused. She didn’t want it to sound all “oh-poor-me,” but there was no help for it. “Sometimes I went to school, but mostly I didn’t. I didn’t have friends, I didn’t get to do any of the normal things twelve-year-old girls do. I guess I still had hope that my brother would come back to us. Then, when I was almost seventeen, Alex sold me to a drug dealer. He wanted some prescriptions, and he didn’t have the money, so he told the guy that he could do anything he wanted with me. The guy cornered me as I was coming back to the Edge. I’ve never been so scared in my whole life.”
SO that was it. Kaldar clenched his teeth. How could you trade your own sister? How could you trade Audrey? Beautiful, sunshine Audrey. His mind understood, but the part of him that was a brother and an uncle seethed at the thought. That was not done.
In the Mire, he would’ve put Alex Callahan down like a rabid dog.
“The drug dealer took everything I had on me,” she said. “And then he told me that I could either steal more drugs for him, or he would rape me and kill me. So I did it. He took me to a bad neighborhood to a drug house owned by a gang. I snuck inside, stole the drugs, and gave them to him. Then he beat me. The first punch knocked me to the ground, and he kicked me for a while. Broke two ribs. My face was messed up for months. Still, I got off easy.”
“That’s fucked up,” George said.
The profanity startled her, coming from him. Audrey cleared her throat. “I came home and told my parents about it. My face was all black-and-blue. I couldn’t have hid it if I’d wanted to, and I didn’t want to. They did nothing. That night I decided I had to leave. From that point on, I saved up my money. I had to hide it very carefully because Alex was very good at finding whatever money we had. I actually left a few bucks hidden somewhere obvious so he’d find it and not look for my stash. Here.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out the cross. “This was my grandmother’s. She gave it to me when I was little. I stole it back from the drug dealer when I made up my mind to leave. It took me almost two years, but I finally escaped.”
“What about your mother?” George asked.
Kaldar shook his head. George needed more experience. With a conversation like this, you didn’t push. Audrey might catch herself and stop talking all together.
“My mother liked pretty things,” Audrey said. “We moved a lot, and in every new place, she’d plant flowers and hang pretty curtains. She liked jewelry, makeup, and nice clothes. She’d make herself up just as pretty as she could be every morning: hair brushed, war paint on. We’d be stuck in some hovel, but she’d make it all spotless, plant flowers, and send us out to steal pictures to put over the holes in the walls. She would always make sure that my clothes were clean, and I had my hair just right, and my makeup was perfect. But she couldn’t really deal with any kind of crisis and ugliness. She just pretended it didn’t exist. When Alex hit rock bottom, it got really ugly. She’d let him have one room, and the rest of the house would still be perfect.”
“She wasn’t much help,” George said.
“No. She ignored me until my face healed. When I finally gathered enough money and escaped, I went as far as I could and started to build my own life. It took me three months to get the house up, and when I did, for half a year I didn’t do anything. I was just happy. By myself in my little house. Then I worked and got enough money to apply for a driver’s license, and eventually I bought a car, and then I got a better job. I kept making improvements to the house. I was perfectly happy for years, then my father showed up. For the first few moments, I thought maybe he had come to tell me he was sorry, but no, he just wanted me to do a job for Alex. So I told him that either he could have me do the job for the very last time, or he could have a daughter. Well, we all know what he picked.”
“I’m sorry,” George said.
“Thank you,” Audrey told him. “I didn’t tell you all this as a play for sympathy. My life wasn’t that bad. Many people have it way worse. My parents never beat me or abused me. I never had to sell myself on the street. No matter how low we fell, we always had food. I just . . .” She hesitated. “Gnome was my neighbor, and now he’s dead because of me. That’s a terrible thing, and I’ll have to live with it. It’s tearing me up inside. I just wanted someone to understand why.”
“I understand,” George said. “You didn’t steal the diffusers because you were greedy.”
“Right. I stole them because my father made me so mad, I couldn’t think straight. I was selfish and stupid. I had daddy issues and a chip on my shoulder, and I wore all of it like a badge. It seems very small now, compared to Gnome’s life.”