* * *
Todd said to give him time to make a few arrangements, and Roark said fine because he needed to close out his work for the day anyway. As soon as Todd flew out to run his errands, Roark surrendered to his dejection. It set in with a vengeance.
He stared into his computer screen, wondering why he had been cursed with a burning desire to do something creative but shortchanged the ability and opportunity to do it. Why would God play a dirty trick like that? Entice you with a dream, provide you with enough talent to make it appear reachable, then keep the dream just this side of being realized?
Like a mantra, he repeated to himself how happy he was over Todd’s success. And he was. He was. But he also resented it. He resented the sneakiness with which Todd had submitted his manuscript. They hadn’t made a pact to inform each other whenever they submitted work, but it had certainly been their habit. Todd hadn’t actually violated a sacred agreement, but that’s what it felt like.
Uncharitably, Roark wanted to attribute Todd’s success to luck, fluky timing, a slow book market, even to an editor with lousy taste, all the while acknowledging that such thoughts were unfair. Todd had worked hard. He was a talented writer. He was dedicated to the craft. He deserved to be published.
But Roark earnestly felt that he deserved it more.