I dip my head back under and go right back to swimming laps, trying to exhaust myself and kill the butterflies in my stomach.
When I’ve had enough, I head back up onto the beach, peeling my wet cover-up away from my body and trying to get it to do its job again. It’s pointless, but I don’t give in to the urge to just tug it off and be done with the damn thing. Gabriella and Ashley are both wearing one-pieces without cover-ups, but they’ve got less butt and less boobs than me, so it doesn’t seem as in-your-face. Besides, it’s not so bad now that I’ve had a chance to cool off in the water. If I get too hot again, I’ll just take another dip.
I check on the kids, bring them water and force them to drink it, spray a few of them with sunscreen when they stop moving for long enough, and then plop myself down under a lounger.
My top half is under the umbrella while my legs stick out into the sun. Since the kids are all in the water, I decide to be adventurous and hike up my cover-up until it’s around my waist so I’ll get an even tan on my bottom half.
For a few minutes, I close my eyes and listen to the waves crash against the shore. Before I accidentally fall asleep like that, I rifle through my bag for my book of crossword puzzles. I go for a medium difficult. Call me crazy.
Life is good for a while, and then Noah’s shadow falls over me, blocking the sun on my legs.
“You mind?” I ask, not looking up.
“You’re avoiding me.”
“So? That’s nothing new.”
I reread the clue for five down, underlining it so he gets the hint that I’m a little busy.
“You’ve really deluded yourself, haven’t you? We’re attached at the hip, you and me. Thick as thieves. You feel rudderless without me.”
I laugh like he’s completely off base. “Not even close. The last two days have been like a nice little vacation.”
“Liar. You’ve cried you miss me so much.”
There’s no way he doesn’t notice the blush creep up my cheeks. He’s only joking, but I have cried over him, so what am I supposed to say to that?
I settle for a subject change.
“Uh-huh. Right. Unless you’ve come over here to help me with my crossword—”
He drops a tube of sunscreen onto my lap.
“I can’t get my back.”
I shield my eyes from the sun and finally, finally look up at him. All my internal prep does nothing. His body up close would bring anybody to their knees.
“I don’t see what that has to do with me.”
He’s so muscled, but not in a way that seems vain. It’s cowboy muscles, as I call them. Real-life, sports muscles. I-want-to-lick-them muscles.
“Just help me, will you? I don’t want to end up like all these other sunburned schmucks.”
“You don’t burn. You tan.”
He’s had enough of my arguing. He reaches down, picks up my leg, and moves it out of the way so he can sit between my thighs. It’s the most sensual position we’ve ever been in. His butt is nearly touching my…YOU KNOW. My jaw is on the sand, but he doesn’t know that because his back is to me. Thank god.
While I’m still recovering my wits, he nabs my crossword book and pen out of my hand.
“If you’re so keen to get rid of me, I’d start applying.”
I puff out a breath filled with indignation and grab the bottle of sunscreen.
Surely, this is against the rules somehow. Does HR track us over the summer? Will they catch wind of the fact that we’re sitting close, practically naked, dripping wet, and oh dear, I still haven’t actually started putting sunscreen on him. I’m just sitting here staring and I’m aware of it now and I should really do something, like move, but I just can’t.
Noah’s back is so broad and smooth and olive—no, brown—no golden.
“You good back there?”
I uncap the sunscreen and squirt some onto my hand.
“Couldn’t get the top open,” I lie. “Now hold still.”
I start with his shoulders near his neck because that seems like a safe enough zone. I try hard to barely touch him, tap tap tapping the sunscreen onto him, but it won’t sink in unless I press down, so before I know it, I’m really going for it, rubbing and caressing and covering every last inch of him.
His skin is as warm as it looks. I can’t get enough.
His focus is down on the crossword as he pens in various answers. It’s like my touch doesn’t even affect him.
“So why are you avoiding me?” he asks suddenly.
My hand stills on his back.
“I’m not,” I insist.
Although I completely am. Running from the dining hall last night, not letting him into my room, sending him an email rather than opening the door and having a face-to-face conversation with him—it’s Avoidance 101.
But instead of admitting that, I deflect.
“You never replied to my email last night,” I point out, like this is all his fault.
He pauses from filling in an answer and looks out toward the ocean. “I didn’t think there was a reason to. You weren’t going to let me finish what I wanted to say in the dining hall.”
My heart starts to race and I toss out the first excuse I think of. “I hate arguing.”
“You? Hate arguing?” He pffts. “You could win debate team nationals. You missed your calling as a lawyer. You live for a battle of wits. What’d you write down here next to the clue for four across?”
“Will & Grace because I wasn’t sure. I was going to come back to it at the end.”
“Right. I’m stumped on this one under it. Six-letter word for scaredy-cat.”
Is he kidding?
“Coward.”
He hums and then writes.
“Oh, okay. What about this? Six-letter word for someone with their head buried in the sand. Starts with an A.”
“What? I have no idea. It starts with an A? You’re sure?”
“100% sure.”
I mull it over while I continue applying sunscreen. I’m doing his lower back now, near his swim trunks. I have to shift a little to get every spot. I’m really taking my job seriously. If I were being graded, I’d get an A++. There’s a chance I missed my calling as Noah’s Personal Sunscreen Applicator.