“It wasn’t my secret to share.”
“Well apparently it was, because you shared it with Felix.” He shook his head. “I’m not having this argument with you in the middle of school. We can talk about it later. Or not, since you don’t like letting me in.” He left me standing in the middle of the hall as he walked away.
“Matt!” I yelled after him. But he was already pushing out the front doors of Empire High. God, what the hell had I done? I ran after him and down the front steps. “We also said we wouldn’t run away!” I called after him.
He froze at the bottom of the steps and turned around. He looked so sad, and I hated that I’d done that to him.
I ran down the rest of the stairs. “Please, I don’t want to fight with you,” I said.
He didn’t say a word.
“When Kennedy told me what Cupcake did to her…I didn’t know what to do. It felt like I had this secret that I couldn’t keep in. And I would have told you, but I already felt so guilty about letting it slip to Felix. Please, I can’t handle you hating me too.”
Matt reached out and ran his thumbs beneath my eyes, wiping away my tears. “Kennedy doesn’t hate you.”
“It sure seems like she does.”
“She doesn’t. And I could never hate you either.”
“It sure seems like you do.”
He dropped his forehead against mine. “You drive me fucking crazy. But that’s because I love you. Not because I hate you. I could never hate you, baby.”
I breathed in his cinnamon exhales. “I really am sorry.” I wrapped my hands around his torso. Now the prank tomorrow was looming over my head. I should have told Matt about it weeks ago. I shouldn’t have kept it a secret. Hell, he may have even helped me plan it. I had no idea. But I couldn’t tell him right now when he was already upset with me. It felt like he was slipping away from me, so I just held on to him tighter. Tomorrow everything would be better. Isabella would be put in her place. And hopefully the Hunters would make up with the Caldwells. Matt would understand. He had to.
“Me too.”
“Why are you sorry?” I asked.
“For snapping. With all the wedding planning and playoffs coming up… I’m trying so freaking hard to stay calm for you. I don’t want to stress you out, but it’s just so hard sometimes.”
I knew he was doing that. He was worried about my panic attacks. He’d been so understanding and patient with me ever since we got back together. But I didn’t want him to put that weight on his shoulders. I wanted him to feel free to react however he needed to. The last thing I wanted was for him to be stressed out instead of me.
“Take a deep breath,” I said and rubbed his back.
He laughed. “I’m not having a panic attack, baby.”
“I know.” I looked up at him. “But it helps with stress too.”
“There’s other things that are better for stress.”
I laughed as his hands slid to my ass. Yeah, I guess that would work too. But a better idea had just crept into my head. I knew exactly what to do to make sure Matt wasn’t stressed out.
Chapter 35
Thursday
“It’s a Thanksgiving present,” I said and pushed the wrapped package toward Matt.
He smiled at me. “There’s no such thing as a Thanksgiving present, baby.”
“Open it.” I tapped my hands on the top of the big box. I was so excited to see his reaction.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his eyes transfixed on my face instead of the huge wrapped gift in front of him.
“I swear, if you don’t open it, I will,” I said.
He laughed and looked back down at the box. “How did you even get this huge box up here?”
“Oh my God, Matt just open it!”
He smiled and tore the wrapping paper on the side. He pushed back the rest of the paper.
It was just a generic box. And when he went to lift the flap I held my breath. Please like it. Please don’t be upset. This could go one of two ways, and I just really hoped he loved it.
He didn’t say anything as he stared down at the contents of the box.
Oh no. He hates it.
He reached down and lifted up a paintbrush. “You got me painting supplies?” His eyes locked with mine.
“You said you used to love to paint with your aunt. And that you didn’t have as much time recently. But now that you don’t have to chase me around anymore, you have a little more free time.” He really does hate it. Maybe it was too soon. When he’d told me about his aunt’s death, the story of them painting together had stuck with me. I liked things that reminded me of my mom. But that didn’t mean Matt wanted to be constantly reminded of his aunt.
God, what had I done? “I’m sorry.” I grabbed the brush out of his hand and tossed it back into the box with the canvases and paints. “I thought it might help with your stress, but it was stupid. I’m just making it worse.” I closed the lid.
“What? No, baby, I love it.” He opened the top of the box back up and pulled out the unassembled easel.
“You do?”
He started putting the easel together. “I have a much better idea than going to Thanksgiving at your dad’s house,” he said.
I just stared at him. I thought he was upset. But now he just looked super excited. “And what’s your idea?”
“I’m going to finish putting this together. And you’re going to get naked and lie on the bed so I can paint you.”
I laughed. “As wonderful as that sounds…we have to get going. I promised my dad we’d be there and I’m already nervous enough without being late. But maybe we can do that tonight? You really like it?”
He put the easel down on the ground. “I love it.” He pulled me into his arms. “I love you.” He placed a gentle kiss against my lips. “You’re going to be my muse.”
I laughed. “So just tons of nude portraits of me, huh?”
“You can wear clothes in some of them if you want. Definitely not necessary though.”
“You’re ridiculous.” I placed my head against his chest. “And I love you so much it hurts.” Truly. It felt like everything hurt today. My heart most of all. I was sure that Kennedy was never going to speak to me again.