“You look so much like her,” he said.
I looked down at the table. I didn’t want to cry anymore today.
“Brooklyn, I know I let your mom down. I’ve spent half my life missing her. I’ve been given a second chance to do this right. And I’m not going to make the same mistake twice. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you.”
When I’d first met him, I thought he hated me. But now I was pretty sure I was his only family member he even got along with. He loved my mom. And he loved me too.
I knew I didn’t know him that well. But I did know that I needed him. Who else would keep me safe from Isabella?
Chapter 18
Tuesday
I bit the inside of my lips until the tears that were threatening to spill went away. “You mentioned that the new security system is in place?”
“I was hoping to give you the good news that you could come home,” said my dad. “But with Isabella…I don’t…I’m not sure it’s for the best.”
“You mean you’re scared she’ll hurt me if I come back?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
I swallowed hard. He was always so certain. How was he not confident in his ability to control Isabella?
“And then there’s the issue of your health. If Isabella really is setting off your panic attacks…it would be best to eliminate her from your life as much as possible. She’ll be going off to college next fall. Then you’ll be perfectly happy and healthy coming back home. But until then, we need to discuss some more suitable alternatives. My second apartment…”
“Can’t I stay with Matt?”
“I’m not on the best terms with Matthew’s father. I’m not sure if they’d be open to that arrangement. Plus the apartment has all the highest security…”
“I don’t want to be there all alone.”
“Of course not. I’d never let you be alone. Miller and Donnelley will always be with you.”
I couldn’t even imagine what Matt would do if he found out I was supposed to basically be living with two other guys. Especially if he knew that I’d been involved with one of them. “Please, Dad. If I can’t live with you until next fall, please let me stay at the Caldwells’ until then. I don’t think they mind me being there. I could get a job to help pay for food and…”
“It’s not about the money. I agreed for you to go there on a temporary basis. Not for a whole year.”
“But…”
“And then there’s the issue of school itself. Until Isabella graduates, I think maybe homeschooling would be best. I’ve been researching a few of the best online options and of course we could have private tutors. Then you won’t have to see Isabella at all.”
“What? No.”
“It’s the safest option.”
“But I don’t want to be in that apartment all day and all night. That’s not a solution. That’s…that’s locking me away.” This conversation was reminding me of the way he’d first treated me. Like I didn’t belong in his world. But screw that. I belonged just as much as Isabella. I was his blood too. He was acting like he wanted to hide me from the world. Like he was embarrassed of me. And I was sick and tired of everyone making me feel like I was trash. “Is that the deal you offered my mom if she stayed? That she could be in that apartment as long as she never left?”
“I didn’t bargain with your mother. I bought her that apartment because I loved her. I never asked her not to leave. Because she was never mine. You are. I’m trying to protect you.”
“That’s not the way to protect me. You can’t just keep me separated from the rest of the world. That’s not a solution.”
“I can’t guarantee your safety at school. Just look at what happened today.”
“I belong at Empire High just as much as Isabella does. If she gets to keep going, so do I. Or maybe you should lock her up in an apartment and homeschool her because she’s the one causing problems. Not me.”
He took a deep breath and leaned back in the booth. “As you may have seen…I’ve been having a hard time controlling Isabella’s actions. Finding loopholes to the rules has always been one of her favorite activities. And it’s been worse since she’s found out about you. I can’t control her.”
“But you can control me?”
“I need to keep you safe. I can’t let anything happen to you too.”
I swallowed hard. “Counter proposal. I stay with Matt. And I keep going to Empire High.”
“That’s not a solution. Isabella will…” his voice trailed off. He pressed his fingers to his forehead like he was fighting off a headache. “I don’t know what she’ll do. That’s the whole problem.”
He looked defeated. And I realized that maybe my dad’s promises were futile. Because he’d admitted he couldn’t control Isabella. I wondered if maybe a part of him was as scared of her as I was.
“One thing you should know about me,” I said. “I learned a very important lesson when my mom got sick. Time is limited. And I made a promise to myself to live each and every moment to its fullest. I won’t stay locked up in an apartment. I won’t stay home from school. There’s nothing worse than not living each moment you have.” Isabella wasn’t going to control my life. There wasn’t a chance in hell that I’d let her. That’s why I’d stayed here. To prove that she couldn’t break me. That I belonged here just as much as she did.
“And I’m sorry that Mr. Caldwell doesn’t like you,” I added. “But I think he’s warming up to me. So I’ll ask him and Mrs. Caldwell myself if I can stay for a year. I’ll figure out what they want for room and board and I’ll make sure I work to give it to them. And I’m going to keep going to Empire High because it’s where my uncle wanted me to go. I’m not going to let Isabella steal a year of my life from me. Because that’s exactly what she wants.”
Each word that fell out of my mouth made me feel more determined. I nodded, like I was giving myself a pep talk. I was staying in New York. I was done hiding. Someone needed to knock Isabella off her high horse.
My dad raised his eyebrow. “I guess there’s no changing your mind?”