“That’s definitely not necessary.” That conversation sounded embarrassing enough. And really Matt was only drunk because I’d made him wait all night for a dance. He’d just been staring at me dancing with tons of other people. I’d never seen Matt drunk before. And honestly, it had been endearing. In his drunkenness, he’d finally given me some answers I needed.
“Alright, princess. But let me know if he gets out of line again and we can circle back to it. Are you hungry? I’m a terrible cook, but I think I can manage to make some eggs. Does that sound okay?”
“That sounds great.”
“How about you get back into bed and I’ll bring them to you? You really should still be resting.”
“Do you mind if I stay in here?”
He gave me a sad smile. “Of course. This couch is actually pretty comfortable.”
I sat down on it and took a deep breath. “It smells like her.”
My dad lifted up a bottle of perfume off a dresser. “It’s her perfume.” He handed it to me.
I had no idea what perfume my mom had worn. It was like a little bottle of her. It was the greatest gift he could possibly give me. I spritzed some on my arm and almost cried. It smelled like she was hugging me.
“I didn’t know that she still wore it,” my dad said.
I looked up at him. “Yeah. I never knew what it was, but she always smelled like this.”
He nodded, but he looked so sad. “I bought it for her.”
I stared up at him. I wished my mom had told me about him. I wished she’d followed her heart. She had clearly still loved him. And he loved her too. Thinking about how they never crossed paths again broke my heart. Especially because I was the reason that they had a falling out.
He cleared his throat. “Eggs. Well, probably burnt eggs. They’ll be right up.” He chuckled at his own joke and then left me alone in the room.
I took a deep breath of the perfume. My mom had been here. She’d sat on this very couch. I ran my fingers along the worn fabric. She’d lived here before she had me. Before she got pregnant and moved in with my uncle. Before she ran away to Delaware. Why didn’t she want me to know about this part of her life? I looked around the room at all her abandoned memories. She’d given it all up for me. Why?
“Brooklyn?”
I looked up at Matt in the doorway. It was like he didn’t realize we were in a time capsule. His bloodshot eyes were focused solely on me. His hair was pushed up in every direction. He looked terrible.
“I’m so sorry.” His voice was hoarse. “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you. I’m so fucking sorry.” He stood there like he didn’t know what to do. When all I wanted was for him to hold me. He put his fist against his mouth like he was holding back tears.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
He winced. “I was freaking drunk and you needed me. I’m never there when you need me.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not.” He sat down next to me and stared at me with all the hurt in the world in his eyes. “I keep letting you down.”
“You’re here now.” I hated seeing him upset. Especially over this. None of what happened last night was his fault. Just Isabella’s.
“Tell me where it hurts.” He was looking at the bandages on my feet. “Tell me everything that happened. Tell me I can make it better.” His Adam’s apple rose and then fell.
Matt had put me through hell. And I think maybe I had put him through hell too. But us torturing each other ended today. I was just glad he was here. I was glad he was choosing me back. Out loud. Not hidden anymore. Not like my dad had treated my mom.
I climbed onto his lap. “Can you just hold me?” I rested my head against his chest and breathed in his familiar scent. It mixed in the air with my mom’s perfume and made me feel so content. I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
I knew I needed to tell him about the past week. About Miller. Even about James. But not right now. I just wanted one minute where I didn’t feel awful. And when he held me, I no longer felt like I was sinking. I was all in with him. I just hoped he felt the same way after he knew the truth.
“I’m going to fucking kill her,” Matt said.
I believed him. I should have been scared of his words. But I wasn’t. The threat was comforting. He finally had my back. I just wasn’t sure I deserved it now.
“If she even breathes your name, she’s dead.” He held me tighter.
I hoped it was a promise. Because even though I felt safe in his arms, I wasn’t sure I’d ever truly feel safe as long as Isabella was still breathing.
Chapter 6
Sunday
Despite my dad’s reservations, he and Matt were getting along well. The three of us were watching the Giants game together. Matt and I were curled up on the couch and Mr. Pruitt had pulled out my mom’s old couch so that there was enough seating. It looked weird for my dad to be sitting on it when he was usually so formal. The floral couch also looked weird against all the pristine white. The first thing that I’d do once I moved in was paint all the walls yellow. My mom would have liked that. And I wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d been yellow in the first place.
Matt grabbed another slice of pizza. My dad had burned the eggs terribly, but luckily pizza was a perfect back up. Everything about this afternoon just felt…normal.
Except the fact that it wasn’t real. This wasn’t my dad’s real home. I wasn’t his real family. And Matt didn’t know that I’d kissed Miller. The perfection of this afternoon was just a fa?ade. But I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
“Touchdown!” my dad yelled and high-fived me and Matt.
I smiled and rested my head on Matt’s shoulder. Today reminded me of the time Matt met my uncle. We’d all watched a movie together. It had just felt…right. For just a moment everything had been perfect. Right before my whole world had shattered again.
“Are you okay?” Matt whispered.
“Just tired.” I wanted to freeze time. I wanted to stay in this safe little bubble forever.
My dad’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out. “I should take this. I’ll be right back.” He got up off the couch.