The bell rang and Felix shrugged out of his blazer. “Here.” He held it out to me. “I know you don’t want to be any later for class.”
“I can’t take your blazer. And you’re late too,” I said with a laugh. I wiped away the rest of my tears.
“I’m always late for class.” He shrugged. “Take it.”
“You’ll get in trouble.”
“And I’m always in trouble.” He pushed his blazer into my hands. “Call me tonight and I’ll come get you from wherever you are, okay?”
“Okay.” Matt had promised me I wouldn’t have to spend the night at the Pruitts’. But I knew Matt’s promises weren’t guaranteed. He promised me all sorts of things in the darkness of night. But in the light of day? I wasn’t sure he meant a word of it.
I pulled on Felix’s blazer. It was way too big, but at least it didn’t smell like spoiled milk.
“That looks better on you than it does on me.”
I smiled at him.
“I’ll see you tonight.” He winked at me and disappeared out the restroom door.
If only I was as confident that I’d see him. There was a pretty slim chance I’d be allowed to leave or call him. But I hoped I’d be able to.
I grabbed Isabella’s blazer off the bathroom floor. All I wanted to do was throw it in the trash. But I knew how expensive these things were. There was a reason I only had one. Despite the fact that I was already late for class, I scrubbed the milk stain out of the front, hung it up in my locker to dry, and then just stood there in the empty hallway. If I closed my eyes really tight, I could almost picture my uncle standing there too.
***
I was glad it was finally time for my last class of the day. But I was also terrified about what would happen after school. I pictured the Pruitts living in a big haunting mansion like Matt’s. Matt. I wasn’t thrilled to see him either.
He’d been so sweet this morning. But he was able to turn off his affection for me so easily. Like it was just a switch. It wasn’t an easy switch to me. And he wasn’t just ignoring me in front of Isabella. Matt sitting there and letting her pour milk all over me and call me a garbage person? That was just cruel. And I’d never thought Matt was cruel.
“Hey,” Matt whispered.
I didn’t look up from the blank page in my notebook. “Hey.” How was it possible that I already felt like crying again? I should have been out of tears after this week.
“I’m really sorry about what happened at lunch.”
That was a lame apology. “Yeah?” Because it certainly didn’t seem like it at the time. I wanted to tell him that, but it was easier to stare at my notebook. I wanted to ask him if he was really hanging out with Isabella every night before sneaking into my bedroom. I wanted to ask him if he realized he was being cruel. I wanted…more from him.
“What are you wearing?”
I was surprised that his tone was suddenly harsh. Couldn’t he see that I was barely holding it together? I lifted my gaze to him. Yeah, he looked pissed. But he wasn’t allowed to be angry with me for borrowing a blazer. I was the one that was pissed with him. “I’m wearing a different blazer. Because Isabella poured milk down the front of mine. While you sat there and did nothing.”
“Whose blazer is it?”
Of course he ignored the last thing I said. “Felix’s.” There was no point in lying. Felix had been the one to come comfort me. Felix was the one that kept showing up. Felix never made me feel alone.
“Take it off.”
What? “I can’t. I’ll get in trouble.”
“Take it off, Brooklyn.”
“And put on what? Your varsity jacket? Oh right…I can’t. Because no one’s allowed to know about us.” For some reason it was really easy to turn my sadness into anger. And it felt good to feel something besides despair.
“Look, I know this whole relationship is supposed to be a secret,” Rob said. “But…”
“Would you lower your voice?” Matt said.
Charlotte wasn’t even in the room yet. I thought about how Matt just let Rob assume that our relationship was a secret because I was poor. This didn’t feel like a secret tryst. This felt like he was embarrassed of me. Honestly, I was embarrassed of myself. What would my mother think of the fact that I agreed to be Matt’s dirty little secret? What would my uncle think?
How had I let myself become this person? This wasn’t me. My mom had raised me better than this. I was a Sanders. And Sanders women were good at walking away from assholes.
“It’s okay, Rob,” I said. “No need to worry about keeping it a secret.” I shoved my notebook into my backpack. “Because Matt and I are done.”
“Brooklyn!” Matt hissed as I stood up.
I didn’t turn around as I rushed out of the classroom. No one else said a word. Not a funny comment from Rob. Or an insult from Charlotte when I almost ran into her in the doorway. Mr. Hill didn’t even scold me for leaving. I was invisible again at Empire High. I mean, who wanted to talk to the girl that lost her whole family? The girl who was hated by the queen bee, Isabella Pruitt? The girl who cried more than smiled? I didn’t even want to talk to that girl. And it sucked that I was her.
It wasn’t until I got onto the busy city sidewalk that I realized I had nowhere to go.
Chapter 7
Friday
The black sedan pulled up next to me on the sidewalk. I quickened my pace, but Miller was out of the car and blocking my path in a matter of seconds.
“You have an appointment with the stylist in twenty minutes,” he said.