The View from 8 A.M., the Last Sunday of the Harvest This was what I dreamed. I was getting married under the Eiffel Tower. The sun was coming up over Paris. Ben was by my side, wearing a green suit, smiling. It didn’t feel like a dream because of that suit, which we’d bought together at a flea market in South Pasadena shortly after Ben moved to Los Angeles. The pea-green suit was intoxicating to him. He wore it every chance he had, so it added a verisimilitude to the dream to see him in it. It actually felt like we were getting married, the two of us reading our vows. But when it was time for Ben to put the ring on my finger, he threw it toward the tower’s iron stairs, the ring landing somewhere high in the tower. “Go!” he said.
We ran toward the ring and the stairs. Ben started to climb, before I even reached the staircase. He was climbing the first of three hundred stairs, which would take him from the ground floor to the first level, the second three hundred stairs, which would take him from the first level to the second. He explained this mid-run so I’d understand where he wanted to go, even if he didn’t want to explain why.
Just as I got to the base of the tower, I got drenched. I woke up to find my father and Finn standing over my bed. Finn was spraying me with water from my mother’s self-created spray bottle, which she used to water her vegetables.
“What the hell?”
“I could ask you that,” Finn said.
“You guys scared the crap out of me,” I said.
My father smiled. “Mission accomplished. Let’s go.”
“Where to?”
“The Tasting Room,” Finn said.
He pulled up the window shade and bright light streamed in. I tried to cover my eyes but it was no use.
My father motioned toward the back of my closet door, where my wedding dress was hanging, clean and hemmed. My mother must have done her handiwork while I was sleeping so it would be the first thing I’d see when I woke up.
He nodded. “Pretty,” he said.
I ignored that, sitting up. “Why are we going to The Tasting Room at eight A.M.?”
“Why are you still sleeping at eight A.M.?” he said. “Is that what corporate lawyers do these days?”
My father had been up for five hours already. He had already had breakfast and lunch. It was time for a drink.
“Don’t you know what today is?” Finn said.
It was Sunday, the last Sunday of the harvest. Five days until the weekend of my wedding.
I deserved more than water on my face to wake me up. Had I forgotten everything that mattered around here? There was an order to things during the last weekend of the harvest.
The official kick-off was the Sunday morning winemaker’s tasting, when my father opened the previous year’s vintage for the first time, sharing it with local winemakers. Tonight, we had family dinner in the wine cave. Then, on Tuesday night, we had the ultimate celebration: the harvest party.
Most years, the harvest party was the following Saturday night—the weekend after the harvest ended—but this year they had changed the plan. They had changed the plan because the next Saturday night they were supposed to be at my wedding.
“Let’s go!” my father said. “Get out of bed.”
“Can you guys just give me a few minutes?”
“No,” my father said.
“You should pretend she didn’t ask that, Pop,” Finn said.
“I don’t have time to pretend,” my father said. “We’re leaving in five minutes.”
Finn reached into my suitcase and threw jeans onto my bed, a hooded sweatshirt.
“I don’t want to wear this.”
“Well, it’s slim pickings,” he said.
He headed for the door. “Unless you prefer your wedding dress?”
“So, little one,” my father said.
We were in the back of Finn’s pickup truck, heading to The Tasting Room, steadying the barrel of wine for the tasting between us. The truck was moving along at a steady pace, The River playing in the background. My father always played Bruce on the morning of the first tasting. Bruce Springsteen, my father’s favorite, necessary for synchronization: the music the first grape was picked to, the music it should be tasted to during the official wine tasting. My father never changed it, certainly not today.
Finn took a left onto Main Street, taking the long way to The Tasting Room.
“Ben,” my father said.
That was all. No question at the end of it.
Bruce played loudly.
My mother had told me that she hadn’t told my father, which meant he didn’t know about Ben. He didn’t know anything beyond the fact that he knew me, and he knew I wouldn’t be here like this if something wasn’t up.
“You having doubts?” he said.
“You could say that.”
“I just did,” he said.
I smiled at him as Finn took a right off of Sebastopol Avenue, leading us into the sweet town of Sebastopol. It was dusty in its way but also full of gems: the best ice cream in five hundred miles, a drive-in movie theater, a local saloon. Sebastopol’s central drag had recently been usurped by the new downtown industrial complex filled with artisanal foods and fancy florists and a five-hundred-dollar-a-night boutique hotel, creating a mini-Napa. But it was still quiet, lovely, at this time of day.
“You know, I almost married someone who wasn’t your mother.” He shook his head. “A week before the wedding, I told her we should call it off. I said it nicer than that, but I told her we should reconsider.”
I looked at him, confused. “Is that true?”
He nodded. “My decision to become a winemaker didn’t feel like a choice. I had this great job at the university. Tenure track. But I spent most of my free time thinking about wine. It felt like something I was compelled to do. The woman, who was a poet, had this quote on her wall about writing. I think it was Fitzgerald. Anyway, he talked about how he had to write his books, how there was no choice in the matter. That was how I felt about this.”
He motioned to the land around him, small vineyards as far as the eye could see.
“The truth was, that girlfriend . . .”
“The poet?”
“The poet. She hadn’t made it that easy for me. She told me she wasn’t going to sit and watch me live my dreams in some small town when she could be in London, Paris. She said if I insisted on making wine, spending my life in a small California town, that was the last straw.” He shrugged. “That’s how I named the vineyard.”
My jaw must have dropped open to the floor. My father always said that he’d come up with the name at The Brothers’ Tavern, after midnight, five beers in. It was a detailed story that he’d recounted often.
“I don’t understand,” I said.
“Nothing to understand. I lied to you before. Don’t tell.”
I looked at him, floored.