Chapter
Gossip
I woke up the next morning far earlier than I’d intended to. A small flutter of nerves in my stomach told me that I was doing something potentially embarrassing today. I pushed the feeling back as I sat up. Unlike the dream I’d just awoken from, I wouldn’t be tripping in front of the class today. No, the only sort of embarrassment I’d feel was walking the halls with a rock star. I was pretty sure Kellan would feel the need to walk with me to my first class, like I was a Kindergartener going to school for the first time, but that was okay. Having him beside me drew all of the attention to him, and he didn’t mind being everyone’s focal point.
Looking around his empty bedroom, I wondered where the rock star was. Standing, I slipped on my underwear and grabbed one of his tshirts from his drawer. It smelled amazing as I slipped it over my head and I briefly considered wearing it to school with me. My first class today was British Literature with a focus on turn of the century femin-ism, but surely those long-deceased, forward thinking writers would understand the allure of Kellan Kyle’s clothing?
Knowing I was up way too early, hours before I had to get ready, I headed downstairs to where my boyfriend most likely was. Not surprisingly, I found him in the kitchen, perfect and causal, dressed in worn jeans and a light shirt. He was leaning against the counter as the coffee brewed. With the coffee scent mixing with the wondrous scent of him, I smiled and walked over to where he was watching me.
Before I could say anything, he spoke one of my favorite words.
“Mornin’.”
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Wrapping my arms around his waist, I snuggled into his chest. “Good morning.” It still being an indecent hour, I yawned after my greeting.
Chuckling, he rubbed my back. “You don’t have to wake up with me.
You can sleep in until your school starts.” Resting my chin on his chest, I peeked up at him; his dark blue eyes seemed completely rested, intense and alive with a passion waiting to be stoked, just under the surface. “If you’re up, I want to be up.” Scrunching my brows, I added, “Why do you get up so early, when you’ve got nowhere to be?”
Sighing softly, he looked away from me. “Well, let’s just say that my childhood trained me to wake up at the crack of dawn.” Looking back to me, he shrugged. “Waking up on my own was preferable to being woken up.” Shaking his head, he softly added, “I guess the habit stuck, now I can’t seem to stop waking up early.”
I bit my lip, hating what had been done to him at such an early age, hating that it still affected him, even years later, even with the abusers dead and gone. Feeling a remembered melancholy seep into his eyes, I shook my head and forced myself to smile brightly. “Well, I’m glad you do. Quiet mornings with you are some of the best memories that I have.” His sad smile widened into a peaceful one as he ran some fingers back through my hair. “Me too,” he whispered. “I always looked forward to you coming down to see me.” He shrugged. “Even if it was just for a little while, it still made me feel like we were…together.” His smile started to fade and I reached up to cup his face. “We were, Kellan. We were together…even if it was just for a little while.” Memories of all of our stolen moments together swept over me as I touched his face—laughing with him, quiet conversations, holding him, being held by him, being angry with him, being insanely jealous over some harlot he’d been with the night before, even though I’d had no right to be. Falling in love with him… Most of it had started right here in his kitchen, waiting for the coffee pot on the counter to finish brewing.
67
Lost in the memories, lost in the dark blue depth of his eyes studying mine, I nearly jumped out of my skin when the phone rang. Kellan smiled and chuckled at me as my heart raced about a million miles per hour. I smacked him on the chest as he gently pushed me back and walked over to the obtrusive thing. The shrill sound stopped when he picked up the corded handle.
“Hello?” Leaning back, Kellan smiled at me as I took some deep, calming breaths. Then his eyes shifted over to stare out the window as he listened to the voice on the other line. “Hey, Denny, long time, no hear.” My eyes widened as I listened to my boyfriend greet my ex-boyfriend.
It was…odd. I knew they still talked, I still talked with Denny too, it just rarely happened when I was in the room. Tilting my head, I considered leaving Kellan to have a private conversation with the man that I knew he still considered family, despite everything.
Just as my body turned away, Kellan’s voice stopped me.
“Yeah…she’s right here…hold on.”
I twisted back to Kellan holding the receiver of the clunky, green phone out to me. Shrugging a little, he whispered, “He called here for you.”
His face and voice were smooth as he said it, but I thought I saw a slight crease in his brow, and I wondered how he really felt about me still talking to Denny. Knowing he had nothing to worry about there, since Denny and I were completely over, not to mention distanced by thousands of miles since Denny was back home in Australia, I smiled comfortingly and grabbed the phone from him. Kellan remained where he was against the counter, making no attempt to leave me to my privacy. I could understand why.
The butterflies in my stomach flared up again as I brought the receiver to my ear. It had been a while since I’d talked with Denny last, a couple of months actually. The time apart was making me nervous to talk to him again. Well, that and Kellan standing a foot away from me. Remembering that Denny was still a good friend to both of us, I relaxed as I greeted him. “Good morning, Denny.”
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He laughed, the sound instantly taking me back to the countless lazy afternoons we’d spent together in Ohio. It tightened my heart a little bit.
Over or not, I still missed him. “Actually, it’s evening here. Did I wake you?”
His accent was thicker now that he was back at home. It was delicious to the ear and I smiled and laughed at his comment, remembering the massive time change between us. “No, Kellan and I are up.” I bit my lip, also remembering that he’d called me here, and had asked if I was awake, which meant he figured I’d spent the night, which meant he probably also assumed I’d slept with Kellan, in the figurative sense.
And he’d be right, if he thought that. I hated him thinking about it, much like I still hated to think about him with his current girlfriend, a sweet woman named Abby that he’d been with for a while now, longer than Kellan and I had officially been together.
He didn’t react to me lumping myself together with the man who’d stolen me away from him, though. Kellan, however, smiled devilishly.
“Ah, good. Did I miss it?” Denny asked anxiously.
I furrowed my brow and shook my head. “Miss what?” Kellan repeated my gesture and I shrugged at him.
Denny quickly filled in the blanks for me. “Your first day back to school. Is it today, or did I miss it?”
My mouth dropped open as I understood why he was calling. “Did you call just to wish me good luck on my first day of school?” Tears stung my eyes that he would still be so sweet to me. He shouldn’t, not after everything I’d done to him. He should curse my name and vow eternal vengeance on me. But that…just wasn’t Denny.
I heard him clear his throat and pictured him running a hand through his piecey, dark hair, a goofy smile on his beautiful face. “Well, yeah, I know how nervous you get about stuff like that.” He paused and my throat dried up, amazed and stunned by his level of forgiveness. Kellan narrowed his eyes at my reaction, but didn’t say anything. In the silence, Denny asked, “Should I not have called, Kiera? Is this…weird?” 69
Swallowing repeatedly, I shook my head. “No, no, I’m sorry. Yes, of course you should call me. And no, you didn’t miss it, and yes, I’m a little nervous.” Not liking the tension that had built up, I said all of that really fast.
Kellan crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head, but Denny laughed. “Oh, okay, good. Well, I just wanted to wish you well, and let you know that I was…thinking about you today.” He cleared his throat again while I blinked back the tears again. God, he was just too good of a person. Sometimes I thought I was an idiot for ever hurting him. Okay, all the time I thought I was an idiot for hurting him.
“Thank you, Denny…for remembering. That was incredibly sweet of you.” I felt a flush creep over my face as I peeked up at Kellan. He sniffed and quickly looked away. I felt that age-old guilt wash over me.
And just when I thought I’d never have to feel guilty again too.
Softly, Denny responded with, “No problem, Kiera. I know that Kellan,” he swallowed after saying his name, “is probably doing a lot to help you out today, so you probably don’t need to hear it from me, but, good luck.”
Not knowing how else to respond, I only whispered, “Thank you, Denny.” Kellan, still not looking at me, took a step away. I immediately grabbed his arm. He paused, but still wouldn’t look back at me.
Denny laughed a little into the receiver. “Uh, and tell your sister sorry for me. I called there first and I’m pretty sure I woke her up.” Smiling, I laughed. Anna did not like being woken up early in the morning. “Yeah, I’ll be certain to do that.” Kellan’s arm under my fingers turned rigid, but he stayed where he was, staring at the coffee pot like it was the most important thing in the universe. I hated that this was bothering him, but it shouldn’t. Denny and I were nothing anymore, and he knew that.