*
Bonn was a provincial town on the banks of the Rhine river. It was an unlikely choice for a national capital, and had been picked for precisely that reason, to symbolize its temporary nature, and the faith of the German people that one day Berlin would again be the capital of a reunited Germany. But that had been forty years ago, and Bonn was still the capital.
It was a boring place, but that suited Rebecca, for she worked too hard to have a social life, except when Fred Bíró was in town.
She was busy. Her area of expertise was Eastern Europe, which was in the throes of a revolution whose end no one could see. Most days she had working lunches, but today she took a break. She left the Foreign Office and walked on her own to an inexpensive restaurant where she ordered her favourite dish, Himmel und Erde, Heaven and Earth, made of potatoes and apples with bacon.
While she was eating, Hans Hoffmann appeared.
Rebecca pushed back her chair and stood up. Her first thought was that he had come to kill her. She was on the point of screaming for help when she noticed the expression on his face. He looked defeated and sad. Her fear vanished: he was no longer dangerous.
‘Please don’t be afraid, I mean no harm,’ he said.
She remained standing. ‘What do you want?’
‘A few words. A minute or two, no more.’
For a moment she wondered how he had managed to come from East to West Germany, then she realized that travel restrictions did not apply to senior officers in the secret police. They could do anything they liked. He had probably told his colleagues that he had an intelligence mission in Bonn. Perhaps he did.
The restaurant proprietor came over and said: ‘Is everything all right, Frau Held?’
Rebecca stared at Hans a moment longer. Then she said: ‘Yes, thank you, Günther, I think it’s okay.’ She sat down again and Hans sat opposite.
She picked up her fork and put it down again. She had lost her appetite. ‘A minute or two, then.’
‘Help me,’ he said.
She could hardly believe her ears. ‘What?’ she said. ‘Help you?’
‘It’s all falling apart. I have to get out. The crowds laugh at me. I’m afraid they’ll kill me.’
‘What on earth do you imagine I might do for you?’
‘I need a place to stay, money, papers.’
‘Are you out of your mind? After all you’ve done to me and my family?’
‘Don’t you understand why I did those things?’
‘Because you hate us!’
‘Because I love you.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘I was assigned to spy on you and your family, yes. I dated you in order to get inside the house. But then something happened. I fell in love with you.’
He had said this once before, on the day she escaped over the Wall. He really meant it. He was out of his mind, she decided. She began to feel scared again.
‘I told no one of my feelings,’ he said, smiling nostalgically, as if he were recalling an innocent youthful romance rather than a wicked deception. ‘I pretended to be exploiting you and manipulating your feelings. But I really loved you. Then you said we should get married. I was in heaven! I had the perfect excuse to give my superiors.’
He was living in a dream world, but was that not true of the entire East German ruling elite?
‘That year that we spent together, as man and wife, was the best time of my life,’ Hans said. ‘And your rejection broke my heart.’
‘How can you say that?’
‘Why do you think I haven’t remarried?’
She was stupefied. ‘I don’t know,’ she said.
‘I have no interest in other women. Rebecca, you are the love of my life.’
She stared at him. She realized that this was not just a stupid story, a hopeless attempt to gain sympathy. Hans was sincere. He meant every word.
‘Take me back,’ he pleaded.
‘No.’
‘Please.’
‘The answer is no,’ she said. ‘It will always be no. Nothing you could say would change my mind. Please don’t force me to use harsh words to make you understand.’ I don’t know why I’m reluctant to hurt him, she thought; he never hesitated to be cruel to me. ‘Just accept what I have said to you and leave.’
‘All right,’ he said sadly. ‘I knew you’d say this, but I had to try.’ He stood up. ‘Thank you, Rebecca. Thank you for that year of happiness. I will always love you.’ He turned away and walked out of the restaurant.
Rebecca stared after him, still deep in shock. God in heaven, she thought; I wasn’t expecting that.