It was complete chaos, and Rowena wasn‘t having an ounce of success taking control of the situation.
When Dani stopped, I headed straight for the front of the bus. Biting back the urge to puke, I climbed up on the bumper and hauled myself onto the hood, where I stood, looking down. Hundreds of sidhe-seers stared back at me, with expressions ranging from disbelief that we‘d dared return, to curiosity and excitement, to fear and blatant distrust. If I‘d been an attorney like my daddy, the bus would have been my opening argument and—
filled to overflowing as it was with dead Unseelie and automatic weapons—it would certainly be swaying the jury. The sidhe-seers had opened the doors and begun unloading it. Guns were piled on the lawn, between dead Fae. I doubted they‘d ever seen so many of our enemy up close and personal, sequestered as Rowena kept them. They couldn‘t seem to take their eyes off them, poking at them with their toes, turning them this way and that, examining them. Initially, I‘d planned to fill the back of the Range Rover with dead Unseelie heads, to show the sidhe-seers what effect a mere two of us could have in a single night out on the town. But then we‘d learned about iron, and raided Barrons‘ stash of guns, and we‘d had to swap rides. Dani blew the bus horn to silence the crowd. When a few short bursts did nothing, she laid on it, making it impossible to hear. Finally, there was silence.
Rowena pushed from a small cluster of sidhe-seers, moved to the front of the bus, and glared up at me. ―Get down from there this instant,‖ she demanded.
―Not until I‘ve had my say.‖
―You have no right to a say. You stole the spear and sword and left this entire abbey unprotected last night!‖
―Oh, please,‖ I said dryly, ―like it‘s being protected with you keeping the Hallows to yourself, doling them out on rare occasions. What could you do if the Fae came for them? And we didn‘t steal them. I took back what was mine to begin with and gave Dani what should have been hers all along. Then we put them to the use they were meant for—killing Fae.‖ I gestured behind me.
―In case you didn‘t notice, a lot of Fae.‖
―Return them to me now,‖ Rowena demanded.
I shook my head. ―Not a chance. Dani and I did more last night to strike at our enemy than you‘ve ever let these women do, and not because they can‘t but because you won‘t permit it. We‘re supposed to See, Serve, and Protect. You told me we were born for it. That in the old days, when we arrived at a village, they feasted and offered us the finest of all they had, because we were their honored, revered guardians. We protected them. We lived and died for them. You don‘t let these women be guardians. You‘ve made them afraid of their own shadows.‖
―I obviously have a higher opinion of them than you do. You will get down from there this very instant. You do not lead these women. You never will.‖
―I‘m not trying to lead them. I‘m showing them their options.‖ It was a lie, but a white one, and my heart was in the right place. I would lead them. One way or another. I raised my eyes from Rowena and addressed the crowd. ―Does your Grand Mistress encourage you to explore your heritage? Does she help you hone your skills? Does she tell you anything about what‘s going on?
Or does she keep things all hush-hush with her secret council?‖ I paused heavily to emphasize what I was about to say next. ―Do you know that iron hurts the Fae? That there are civilian troops—your average everyday humans in Dublin—who are actively hunting the Unseelie, doing our job, protecting the people who are still alive, shooting them with bullets of iron? Dani and I ran into a battalion of fifty last night. They were firing at the Hunters, driving them out of our city, while you slept behind the walls of this abbey. While you hid in safety, abandoning them to their fate. Is that who you are? Is that who you want to be?‖
There was a moment of stunned silence, then a deafening cacophony of voices. Dani laid on the horn again. It took a full minute to silence them this time.
Kat stepped forward. “How are humans hunting them? They can‘t see them.‖
―Most of the Fae no longer hide behind glamour, Kat. You‘d know that if she ever let you leave. They feel invincible, and why wouldn‘t they? There are no sidhe-seers getting in their way, stopping them. But we can change that.‖
―If we start hunting them, won‘t the Fae just start concealing themselves with glamour again?‖
I nodded. ―Sure, it‘ll get more dangerous. And we‘ll need every special sidhe-seer talent we‘ve got.‖
―Then the humans will no longer be able to fight them,‖ she worried. ―They won‘t be able to reinforce us.‖ Fear underscored her words, and I understood it. How could a mere few hundred sidhe-seers with only two weapons hope to defeat an army of Unseelie?
I wanted to know what Rowena knew, so I watched her carefully when I told Kat, ―Humans have found a way to open their eyes and see the Fae as we do.‖
The crowd gasped. When Rowena‘s expression didn‘t change at all, I knew it was just one more weapon, like the sword and the spear, that she‘d withheld from the women. ―You knew!‖ I exploded. ―You knew all along! And in the past two months, you never once considered using it to help defend our planet!‖
―?Tis old lore, and forbidden,‖ Rowena hissed. ―You‘ve no idea of the consequences!‖
―I know what the consequences are if we don’t do it! We‘ll lose our planet, piece by piece! Two billion are already gone, Rowena. How many more will you let die? How many lives do you consider expendable? It was our duty to protect the Sinsar Dubh! We didn‘t. Now it‘s our duty to fix this mess!‖
―You knew there was a way to make the average human safer and you didn‘t tell us?‖ Kat stared at Rowena. ―All those families around the countryside that we‘ve promised to protect and have lost, we could have taught to protect themselves?‖ Her eyes filled with tears. ―For the love of Mary, Rowena, I lost my Sean and Jamie! I could have made them able to see the Unseelie?
They could have defended themselves?‖
―What she‘s not telling you,‖ Rowena spat, ―is that in order to see them, they must eat the living, immortal flesh of the dark Fae.‖
Sidhe-seers gasped; some made choking noises. I understood that perfectly. Even when I‘d been battling a growing addiction to it, it had still been revolting.
―What she‘s not telling you,‖ Rowena continued, ―is that eating it has unspeakable consequences! It‘s addictive, and once a human begins they can‘t stop. It changes the person. What would you expect cannibalizing the flesh of our dark enemy to do? It corrupts their very soul! Och, and is that the sentence you would have inflicted upon your innocent brothers, Katrina? Would you have seen them damned rather than dead?‖ Her voice rose, strong with fury.
―What she‘s not telling you, and should be if we‘re discussing dark secrets being withheld, is that it was she who taught these humans to eat it, and she—‖
―Who has eaten it herself,‖ I announced, before she could. ―And you can kick the addiction. I did.‖ Score one for Rowena. As I suspected, she‘d read my journal. I tried to rapidly mentally review it, to anticipate where else she might try to pull the rug out from under me. I‘d poured my heart and soul into those pages. ―Rowena says it changes you. I‘m not so sure about that. Judge for yourself whether I‘m ?damned,‘‖ I told them. ―Judge for yourself whether the humans in Dublin who are fighting our war for us are truly any different for having done what was necessary to survive. Or continue blindly taking Rowena‘s word for things. If I‘m so damned, why am I the only sidhe-seer out there on the front lines doing something?‖
―Hey.‖ Dani was suddenly on the hood of the bus, beside me. ―What am I? Chopped liver?‖
―Surf and turf,‖ I assured her. ―Top-shelf whiskey.‖
She grinned.
―Because she wants the Book herself,‖ Rowena accused, ―that‘s why she‘s out there. So she can take power for herself.‖
―Oh, balls,‖ I scoffed. ―If that were true, I would have allied myself with the Unseelie long ago. The LM would never have had to turn me Pri-ya.”
―How do we know you‘re not still?‖ Rowena demanded.
―I can walk,‖ I said dryly. “Pri-ya,” I told the women, ―is a terrible thing to be. But not only did I recover from it, I‘ve acquired some kind of immunity to sexual glamour. V‘lane no longer has any death-by-sex Fae impact on me now.‖
That got their attention.
―Look, you can face what‘s out there and get stronger for it, or you can stay behind these walls and take orders until our planet is beyond saving. You want to talk about damned? Our entire race is, if we don‘t do something about it!‖
The women exploded again and turned to one another, talking frantically. I‘d definitely stirred them up. I‘d given them more information in a few short minutes than their Grand Mistress had in years. I‘d made them feel more empowered than she‘d ever let them feel. Rowena gave me an icy look and turned to study her protégées.
She made no move to silence them, nor did I. I preferred they work themselves up even more. Then I would cut in and tell them my plans. Form troops and assign tasks. Rowena was looking at me again.
I suspected she wanted to address the crowd, but I wasn‘t about to help her silence them. I would blow the horn in a few minutes and give my closing, rousing mutiny speech. What happened next happened so quickly that I couldn‘t stop it.
Rowena slipped a whistle from the pocket of her robes and blew on it sharply, three shrill bursts. The crowd instantly fell silent, obviously trained to the sound. Then she was speaking, and it was too late for me to stop her without seeming argumentative and petty. I would have to let her have her say, then turn it against her when she was done.
―I‘ve known most of you since birth,‖ she said. ―I‘ve visited your homes, watched you grow, and brought you here when it was time. I know your families. I have been a part of your everyday struggles and triumphs. Each of you is as my own child.‖
She favored them with a gentle smile, the very portrait of a loving parent. I didn‘t trust it one bit. I wondered if I was the only one who saw the disturbing image of a cobra, smiling with human teeth.
―If I have erred, it is not that I have not loved you enough but that I have loved you too much. I have wanted, as any mother would, to keep her children safe. But my love has prevented my daughters from becoming the women they could and should be. It has prevented me from leading you as I must. I have erred but will no longer. We are sidhe-seers. We are humanity‘s defenders. We were born and bred to battle the Fae, and from this day forward, that is what we will do.‖ All softness in her demeanor abruptly melted away. She snapped straight, suddenly seemed a foot taller, and began firing orders.
―Kat,‖ she barked, ―I want you to handpick a group and put them to work determining how we can use iron as a weapon. Catch a few Unseelie. Test it on them. Devote a second group to locating the most common sources of it and collect it, with all haste.‖ She waved a hand at the bus behind her. ―We have guns enough for all of us!‖ she shouted triumphantly, making it sound as if the triumph were hers. ―I want iron bullets to go around!‖
I gritted my teeth.