―While at my abbey. Now might be the time to take a careful look around you.‖ It was a threat. I didn‘t need to. I‘d heard the other sidhe-seers crowding close while we were arguing. The hall was large, and from the hushed murmurs, I guessed several hundred were behind me. ―What have you done since the walls came down, Rowena?‖ I demanded. ―Have you found the Book yet? Have you accomplished anything that might restore order to our world? Or are you still lording your power over a band of women who would do better with a little power of their own?
You squeeze the heart out of who and what they are with your rules and regulations. You tie them down when you should be helping them learn to fly.‖
―And getting them killed?‖
―In any war there are losses. It‘s their choice. It‘s their birthright. We fight. And sometimes we pay terrible prices. Believe me, I know. But as long as we breathe, we get back up and fight again.‖
―You brought us the Orb spiked with Shades!‖
―You don‘t believe that,‖ I scoffed. ―If you did, you‘d have killed me when I was Pri-ya, unable to defend myself. I‘ll bet the very fact that I got turned Pri-ya is what convinced you that I wasn‘t allied with the Lord Master.‖ I shrugged. ―Why turn a turncoat? There‘s no need.‖
―There are spies within spies.‖
―I‘m not one of them. And I‘m staying right here, in your abbey, until you see that.‖
She blinked. I‘d startled the old woman. I wasn‘t angling for an invitation. I was staying with or without her permission. Openly or in hiding. I didn‘t care which. There were two things within these walls I needed: my spear and answers, and I wasn‘t leaving without both of them.
―We don‘t want you here.‖
―I didn‘t want my sister to be murdered. I didn‘t want to find out I was a sidhe-seer. I didn‘t want to be raped by Unseelie Princes.‖ I listed my grievances but kept it brief. ―In fact, I haven‘t wanted a single thing that‘s happened to me in the past few months. Fact is, I really don‘t even want to be here myself, but a sidhe-seer does what needs to be done.‖
We stared at each other.
―Would you agree to supervision?‖ she said finally, very tightly.
―We can discuss that.‖ Discussing is where it would end. I would take all her BS under advisement. Before I discarded it. ―How‘s the Book hunt going, Rowena?‖ I knew the answer. It wasn‘t. ―Has anyone spotted it lately?‖
―What do you propose?‖
―Give me the spear and I‘ll go out hunting it.‖
―Never.‖
―?Bye, then.‖ I walked past her, toward the door.
Behind me, sidhe-seers exploded. I smiled. They were frustrated. They were tired of being caged and accomplishing nothing. They were primed for a little pre-mutiny meddling, and I was primed to meddle.
―Silence!‖ Rowena said. ―And you‖—she snapped at my back—‖stop right there!‖
The hall went still. I paused at the door but I didn‘t turn. ―I won‘t go out hunting it without the ability to defend myself.‖ I paused and bit my tongue hard before adding, ―Grand Mistress.‖
The silence stretched.
Finally, ―You can take Dani, with the sword. She will defend you.‖
―Give me the spear and she can come, too. And you can send any of your other sidhe-seers you want, as well.‖
―What‘s to keep you from walking away, from turning your back on us the minute I give you the spear?‖
I whirled. My hands fisted and my lips drew back. Later, Dani would tell me I‘d looked half animal, half avenging angel. It impressed even her, and the kid is tough to impress.
―I care, that‘s what,‖ I snarled. ―I drove out here through a wasteland. I saw the piles and husks everywhere. I looked in the baby‘s car seat before I took it out of the Rover. I know what they‘re doing to our world, and I will either stop them or die trying. So get the feck off my back—where you‘ve been since the night you met me—and wake up! I‘m not the bad guy. I‘m the good guy. I‘m the one who can help. And I will, but on my terms, not yours. Otherwise, I‘m out of here.‖
Dani stepped past Rowena and joined me. ―And I‘m going with her.‖
I looked at her, my lips rounded on ―no,‖ then I caught myself. What rights had I just argued for?
Dani was old enough to choose. In my book, old enough to kill is old enough to choose. I think hell has a special place for hypocrites.
Kat stepped forward from the crowd. Of all the sidhe-seers I‘d met, the quietly persistent grayeyed brunette who had led the small group in the attack on me at Barrons Books and Baubles (BB&B) the day I‘d inadvertently killed Moira seemed the most levelheaded, open-minded, and firmly fixed on the long-term goal of ridding our world of the Fae. She and I had met several times, attempting a tentative partnership. I was still open to one if she was. In her mid-twenties, she had the unassuming quiet confidence of someone much older. I knew she had influence over the others, and I was interested to hear what she had to say. ―She‘s a tool, Grand Mistress. And, like it or not, she may be our most useful yet.‖
―You no longer blame her for spiking the Orb?‖
―She can stay and help us get rid of the blimey fecks if she‘s so innocent.‖
―Language,‖ Rowena said sharply.
I rolled my eyes. ―Oh, for crying out loud, Rowena. It‘s a war, not a congeniality contest.‖
Somebody snickered.
―Wars need rules!‖
―Wars need to be won!‖ I fired back, to a satisfying chorus of murmured assents.
―What say you to a vote?‖ Kat proposed.
―Fine,‖ Rowena and I both snapped in unison, and looked at each other with distaste. I could tell that she didn‘t believe for a moment I might win, or she wouldn‘t have agreed to it. I wasn‘t sure I would, either, but I figured high emotions and years of dissatisfaction with her rule gave me nearly even odds. Kat had a large following among the sidhe-seers, and she was arguing for me. Even if I lost, at least I‘d know who I could count on my side.
Kat turned to face the hall, crammed to overflowing with sidhe-seers in the doorways. ―It‘s being left up to us, so think it through well and call it: Does she stay, or does she go? If you‘re after her staying, raise your right hand and hold it high while I take your tally.‖
It was a tight vote.
I won by a narrow margin.
I committed to memory the face of every woman who voted against me.
―What the feck is V‘lane doing here?‖ I demanded, the moment Dani and I were alone. It was hours before we were. Rowena had decided to push me a little in front of the other sidhe seers after I‘d won the vote, to see if I‘d bend. She instructed me to clear no less than a dozen Shades from the abbey before I ate or slept, in order to earn my keep. I‘d bent for her this time.
Not only did I enjoy tracking the Shades and driving them out into the late-afternoon light—I‘d been watching them long enough as my neighbors at the bookstore that I knew all the places they liked to hide—but I‘ve learned to choose my battles. I understood the importance of throwing a few of the smaller fights, to keep my competition off balance, underestimating me. Rowena would believe I was fully cooperative, right up to the moment her ranks rebelled and overthrew her. I had no intention of staying in the abbey long. I was here for my spear, answers, and to incite riot among the Grand Mistress‘s followers. Wake them up to their calling. Get them to ditch the old woman and become all they could be.
―He showed up the day Barrons took you,‖ Dani said. ―You shoulda seen it! When he heard you were gone, he went ballistic.‖
―The Fae don‘t go ballistic, Dani.‖ Impassive, they rarely showed emotion. Not even V‘lane‘s recently acquired reactions could be construed as ―ballistic.‖
Her eyes got big. ―Dude, he iced Rowena.‖
―You mean turned her into a block of it?‖ Dani was so full of slang it was hard to know what she meant sometimes. Since Rowena was alive, I figured she had to be speaking literally. Dani nodded. ―From the neck down. Left her head un-iced so she could talk. Then threatened to flick her with his fingernail so she could watch herself shatter. It was wicked cool.‖
―Why?‖