* * *
“Jamie?”
“Aye?” The answer came at once; I knew he hadn’t been asleep, though he lay still as a figure carved on a tomb. It was moon-bright in the room, and I could see his face when I rose on my elbow; he was staring upward, as though he could see beyond the heavy beams to the open night and the stars beyond.
“You aren’t going to try to leave me behind, are you?” I wouldn’t have thought of asking were it not for the scene with Ian, earlier in the evening. For once it was settled that Ian would stay, Jamie had sat down with him to issue orders—choosing who would march with the laird to the aid of the Prince, who would stay behind to tend to animals and pasture and the maintenance of Lallybroch.
I knew it had been a wrenching process of decision, though he gave no sign of it, calmly discussing with Ian whether Ross the smith could be spared to go and deciding that he could, though the ploughshares needed for the spring must all be in good repair before leaving. Whether Joseph Fraser Kirby might go, and deciding that he should not, as he was the main support not only of his own family but that of his widowed sister. Brendan was the oldest boy of both families, and at nine, ill-prepared to replace his father, should Joseph not come home.
It was a matter for the most delicate planning. How many men should go, to have some impact on the course of the war? For Jenny was right, Jamie had no choice now—no choice but to help Charles Stuart win. And to that end, as many men and arms as could possibly be summoned should be thrown into the cause.
But on the other side was me, and my deadly knowledge—and lack of it. We had succeeded in preventing Charles Stuart from getting money to finance his rebellion; and still the Bonnie Prince, reckless, feckless, and determined to claim his legacy, had landed to rally the clans at Glenfinnan. From a further letter from Jared, we had learned that Charles had crossed the Channel with two small frigates, provided by one Antoine Walsh, a sometime-slaver with an eye for opportunity. Apparently, he saw Charles’s venture as less risky than a slaving expedition, a gamble in which he might or might not be justified. One frigate had been waylaid by the English; the other had landed Charles safe on the isle of Eriskay.
Charles had landed with only seven companions, including the owner of a small bank named Aeneas MacDonald. Unable to finance an entire expedition, MacDonald had provided the funds for a small stock of broadswords, which constituted Charles’s entire armament. Jared sounded simultaneously admiring and horrified by the recklessness of the venture, but, loyal Jacobite that he was, did his best to swallow his misgivings.
And so far, Charles had succeeded. From the Highland grapevine, we learned that he had landed at Eriskay, crossed to Glenfinnan, and there waited, accompanied only by several large casks of brandywine, to see whether the clans would answer the call to his standard. And after what must have been several nerve-racking hours, three hundred men of clan Cameron had come down the defiles of the steep green hills, led not by their chieftain, who was away from his home—but by his sister, Jenny Cameron.
The Camerons had been the first, but they had been joined by others, as the Bill of Association showed.
If Charles should now proceed to disaster, despite all efforts, then how many men of Lallybroch could be spared, left at home to save something from the wreck?
Ian himself would be safe; that much was sure, and some balm to Jamie’s spirit. But the others—the sixty families who lived on Lallybroch? Choosing who would go and who would stay must seem in some lights like choosing men for sacrifice. I had seen commanders before; the men whom war forced to make such choices—and I knew what it cost them.
Jamie had done it—he had no choice—but on two matters he had held firm; no women would accompany his troop, and no lads under eighteen years of age would go. Ian had looked mildly surprised at this—while most women with young children would normally stay behind, it was far from unusual for Highland wives to follow their men to battle, cooking and caring for them, and sharing the army’s rations. And the lads, who considered themselves men at fourteen, would be grossly humiliated at being omitted from the tally. But Jamie had given his orders in a tone that brooked no argument, and Ian, after a moment’s hesitation, had merely nodded and written them down.
I hadn’t wanted to ask him, in the presence of Ian and Jenny, whether his ban on womenfolk was intended to include me. Because, whether it was or not, I was going with him, and that, I thought, was bloody all about it.
“Leave you behind?” he said now, and I saw his mouth curl into a sideways grin. “D’ye think I’d stand a chance of it?”
“No,” I said, snuggling next to him in sudden relief. “You wouldn’t. But I thought you might think about it.”
He gave a small snort, and drew me down, head on his shoulder. “Oh, aye. And if I thought I could leave ye, I’d chain ye to the banister; not much else would stop ye.” I could feel his head shake above me, in negation. “No. I must take ye wi’ me, Sassenach, whether I will or no. There are things you’ll maybe know along the way—even if they dinna seem like anything now, they may later. And you’re a rare fine healer, Sassenach—I canna deny the men your skill, and it be needed.”
His hand patted my shoulder, and he sighed. “I would give anything, mo duinne, could I leave ye here safe, but I cannot. So you will go with me—you and Fergus.”
“Fergus?” I was surprised by this. “But I thought you wouldn’t take any of the younger lads!”
He sighed again, and I put my hand flat on the center of his chest, where his heart beat beneath the small hollow, slow and steady.
“Well, Fergus is a bit different. The other lads—I willna take them, because they belong here; if it all goes to smash, they’ll be left to keep their families from starving, to work the fields and tend beasts. They’ll likely need to grow up fast, if it happens, but at least they’ll be here to do it. But Fergus…this isna his place, Sassenach. Nor is France, or I would send him back. But he has no place there, either.”
“His place is with you,” I said softly, understanding. “Like mine.”
He was silent for a long time, then his hand squeezed me gently.
“Aye, that’s so,” he said quietly. “Sleep now, mo duinne, it’s late.”