Don’t Let Me Go

It didn’t seem late enough for Rayleen to be home. But then he heard her knock. She had a special knock, Rayleen. With a rhythm to it. Four little taps. One, two three…pause…four. If it could go on long enough, you could almost dance to it. And the real beauty of the situation was that Billy hadn’t had to tell her that a special knock would do wonders for his anxiety disorder. She’d figured it out on her own.

 

He tilted his head toward the still-silent Grace.

 

“Did you lock it?”

 

“Oh. No, I forgot. I slipped and fell, and then I had to take the shoes off, and then I forgot.”

 

But that was a natural enough turn of events, Billy thought. The truly bizarre angle of the situation was that he’d forgotten, too.

 

“It’s open,” he called. “Come in.”

 

The door swung wide and Rayleen looked in at them, questioningly.

 

“What the hell happened to you two?” she asked.

 

Billy sighed. “Nobody thrives every day,” he said.

 

“Rayleen,” Grace said. “Can I go ask Mr. Lafferty if he’ll go to the lumber store for us? I know you don’t like him, and I know you don’t really like for me to be around him, but it’s just this one favor. Just so we can get a big piece of wood. Please can I go ask him?”

 

“A big piece of wood for what?”

 

“For a dance floor for my tap dancing. So we can put it over the rug, and then it won’t wake up my mom, and so then she can’t come up here and yell at Billy.”

 

“I don’t know, Grace. He’s such a rotten guy. I’d be surprised if he’d be willing to do you a favor.”

 

“I could ask, though.”

 

“Sure. You can ask.”

 

Grace ran out the door, still in her sock feet.

 

Billy looked up at Rayleen, who studied his face for a moment. Then he patted the couch beside his hip and she came over and sat with him.

 

“Question,” he said. “Are we enabling Grace’s mom by taking care of her kid?”

 

“Hmm,” Rayleen said. “Never thought about it.”

 

“Too bad. I was hoping you’d say no. It’s just that she does nothing but sleep twenty-three hours a day, and it seems to me she wouldn’t be able to do that without us.”

 

“Or she just would anyway, and Grace would pay for it.”

 

“But this way she can do it guilt-free, and with no consequences.”

 

“What got you thinking about this?”

 

“Something Lafferty said to the kid.”

 

“Lafferty! That figures. Goddamn that man. I hate him so much. Maybe I should go after Grace before she even gets up there.”

 

“Too late. I’m sure she’s talking to him by now.”

 

Rayleen sighed. Sat back. Gazed out Billy’s big sliding-glass door. What was it about rain that made people want to gaze?

 

“Sure is coming down out there,” she said.

 

A long silence, during which Billy had no comment to offer about the rain. It simply rained. It wasn’t one of those things you talked much about, he felt. It was one of those things that just was.

 

“OK,” Rayleen said. “Honest answer: maybe. I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to give that some thought.”

 

“Don’t you hate it when a guy like that is right?”

 

“On those rare occasions when it happens, yes.”