'I think I can understand. I have not seen my family for years. They live far from London. I have only Master Poer at my house. I know I have a position in the world, but I too can feel alone. Yes, alone.' I smiled at her sadly. 'But have you no family at all? No friends in Scarnsea that you visit?'
She frowned, playing with a loose thread on her sleeve. 'My mother was the last of our family. The Fewterers were not popular in the town, women healers are always a little apart.' Her voice became bitter. 'People come to women like my mother and grandmother for help with their ills, but they do not like the sense of obligation. Once when he was young Justice Copynger came to my grandmother, seeking help for a griping in his guts that would not leave him. She cured him, but he would not so much as acknowledge her in the street afterwards. And it did not stop him taking our cottage when my mother died. I had to sell all our sticks of furniture that I had grown up with, for I had nowhere to put them.'
'I am sorry. Such thefts of land should be stopped.'
'So I do not go into Scarnsea any more. On my rest days I stay here, looking at Brother Guy's books. He helps me try to read them.'
'Well then, you have one friend.'
She nodded. 'Yes, he is a good man.'
'Tell me, Alice, did you ever hear of a girl who worked here before you, a girl named Orphan?
'I heard she took some gold cups and ran away. I do not blame her.'
I decided to say nothing of Goodwife Stumpe's fears; I did not wish to worry Alice further. I felt an overpowering urge to rise and clasp her to my breast, to ease the ache of loneliness in us both. I fought it down.
'Perhaps you too could leave,' I suggested diffidently. 'You did once, when you went to work for the apothecary in — Esher, was it not?'
'I would leave this place if I could, all the more after what has happened these last ten days. It is full of dusty old men and there is neither love nor warmth in their ceremonies. And I wonder still over what poor Simon meant about warning me.'
'Yes, so do I.' I leaned forward. 'Perhaps I may do something to help. I have contacts in the town, and in London too.' She looked at me curiously. 'I can feel for your position, truly I can, and I would help you. I would not have you—' I felt myself blush — 'put under any — any obligation to me for it, but if you would accept help from an ugly old hunchback I would gladly give it.'
Her look of curiosity deepened. She frowned. 'Why do you call yourself old and ugly, sir?'
I shrugged. 'I am approaching forty, Alice, and I have always been told I am ugly.'
'It is not so, sir,' she said hotly. 'Why only yesterday Brother Guy remarked how your features have a rare combination of refinement and sadness.'
I raised my eyebrows. 'I hope Brother Guy is not of Gabriel's inclination,' I said jokingly.
'No, he is not,' Alice said with sudden heat. 'And you should not insult yourself so, sir. Is there not enough suffering in the world?'
'I am sorry.' I laughed nervously. I was overcome with embarrassment and pleasure at her words. She sat looking at me sadly and despite myself I lifted a hand to reach across and touch hers. Then we both jumped as the church bells began to peal, clashing and echoing through the night. I let my hand fall as we both laughed nervously. The door opened and Mark walked in. Alice at once rose and went to a cupboard; I guessed she did not want him to see her tear-streaked face.
'I am sorry I took so long, sir.' He spoke to me but his eyes were on Alice's back. 'I went to the privy and then stopped in the infirmary hall. Brother Guy is there, the ancient monk is very ill.'
'Brother Francis?' Alice turned quickly. 'Then please excuse me, sirs, I must go to him.' She brushed by us, her footsteps pattering up the corridor. Mark's face was concerned.
'Has she been crying, sir? What ails her?'
I sighed. 'Loneliness, Mark, only loneliness. Now come, those infernal bells are tolling for the vigil.'
===OO=OOO=OO===
As we passed through the infirmary hall, we saw Alice and Brother Guy standing over the old monk's bed. Blind Brother Andrew sat in his chair as usual, cocking his head from side to side to catch the sounds of Alice and Brother Guy's movements. The infirmarian looked up as I approached the bed.