She didn’t once ask me that question. She never asked if I was okay.
She stood tall, looking as beautiful as ever, and pursed her lips together. “He’s still my son-in-law, Grace. He’s our family.”
“I’m your daughter,” I argued.
“Please listen, Grace,” she whispered. “He said he still loves you.”
“He’s a liar.”
“Bite your tongue,” she scolded me. “We have known the Braun family all our lives, and Finley Braun wouldn’t lie about loving you.”
“You’d be surprised at what he could lie about, Mama. Plus, maybe it takes more than love to make a marriage last.”
“Yes, it does. It takes forgiveness and prayer,” she scolded me.
“She was my best friend. He’s dating my best friend. They are still together.”
“I know it’s messy…” Mama started.
I huffed. “Messy?!” My voice was louder than she liked. “Come on, Mama. You’re being ridiculous.”
“I am not. People make mistakes, Gracelyn Mae, and if you don’t show him that you still want him, you’ll lose him completely. As his wife, it is your duty to stand by your husband even when he’s lost. You have to lead him back home.”
“But Autumn—”
“Autumn didn’t stand before you and say vows. What she did was horrible, but it is no concern to you, not really. She means nothing to your life. Finley means everything. Who are you without Finn, Grace? He’s been by your side more than half of your lifetime. You both are a part of each other. Just because the days are dark doesn’t mean we stop trying. Youth today are so quick to throw away relationships before even giving them a chance to heal. There’s healing in time.”
My stomach was in knots, and I hadn’t a clue how to respond because I’ve somewhat been wondering the same thing. Without Finn, who was I? He’d been such a big part of my existence that I wasn’t certain how to go about living without him.
Our lives had been so tangled that I was almost certain he took parts of me when he untied our love.
Who was I supposed to be now?
Was I even still a person of my own accord?
Without Finley, did I even exist?
Yet none of that mattered. Not really.
Because even if I fought for his love, even if I prayed for him to come back to me, he’d still have had an affair with my best friend. If it were a stranger, perhaps I could’ve moved on. Perhaps I could’ve found a drop of forgiveness in my soul, but with Autumn?
No.
I’d never be able to trust him again, and every second he was gone from my touch, I’d imagine him embraced in hers.
What kind of life was that to live?
What kind of woman would I be if I melted back into the arms of the man who repeatedly betrayed me?
“You aren’t even going to try, are you?” Mama frowned. “You’re not going to give him a chance? He’d said he’s been calling you.”
“I have nothing to say to him.”
“Your stubbornness is going to ruin your life.”
“Mama…” I whispered, blinking a few times and rubbing the side of my neck. “Can’t you just choose me today? If only for one day?”
Not even a glimpse of compassion crossed her face as she glanced around the church. “Gracelyn, I need you to start acting your age instead of acting out like a child. If you are going to stay in Chester for a while, you need to act appropriately.”
“Act appropriately? What are you talking about?”
“You are the daughter of the pastor, which, in turn, makes you the daughter of this town. You have a responsibility to your family, to this town, to show up with a smile and class.”
“Mama—”
“I’m serious, Grace. I don’t want to argue, and I’m tired of getting calls from people about how odd you’re acting.”
“What? What does that even mean?”
“People have been talking about seeing you wandering through town crying and how your whole personality seems”—she cleared her throat—“off. Plus, what were you doing down at that auto shop talking to that—thing?”
“Excuse me? Mama, do you have people spying on me?” I asked, stunned.
“Of course not, Gracelyn. Don’t be ridiculous. But this is a small town, and people do have eyes of their own. You need to stay away from those Emery men. They are reckless.”
“Do you even really know them, Mama? Like really?”
“I know enough.”
“From Mike’s one mistake years ago.”
She huffed. “One mistake? You must be out of your mind to think Mad Mike has only made one mistake.”
“You shouldn’t call him that,” I softly spoke.
“Why? That’s what he is—he’s insane. Since you’ve been gone, he’s been in and out of the jail cell and piss drunk all over town. He’s a pain to this town, and we’d be better off without him and his sinful son.”
“Sinful son? Come on, that’s a bit much.” I didn’t know why, but I felt the way she was judging Jackson was a bit unfair. Yes, he was mean, but could you really blame him for being that way after the town pushed him into that corner?
“Is it? He’s a drug addict.”
“He got clean.”
“Maybe for a minute, but no lowlife like him could ever stay that way. Do you know where women go when they have the devil whispering in their ears about infidelity? Straight into the arms of that disgrace. He has ruined the relationships of many people in this town because of his disgusting habits. He’s pretty much a walking STD, and that’s why it looks awful when you’re seen with him. You are starting rumors that don’t even exist just by being seen with him. It looks appalling to have you talk to that monster. You must stay away from Jackson Emery at all costs.”
“Did he come to you for help years ago? About the townspeople attacking him and his father?” I asked.
She shifted around in her heels. “A lot of people come to me for help. I am, after all, the pastor’s wife.”
“Yes, but did Jackson come to you, asking you to talk to the church about leaving him and his father alone?”
She stuck her nose up in the air. “I don’t recall that.”
“Well, he does.”
“He’s a liar, like his father.”
“Mama,” I whispered, shaking my head. “When did you become so cold? How could you turn your back on him?”
“Those two people didn’t deserve my ear after what Mad Mike did to our place of worship. Thousands of dollars in repairs. Someone could’ve been killed.”
“But what does Mike’s actions have to do with Jackson? He was just a kid, Mama, and he came to you in his time of need.”
“Don’t preach to me about being a good person, Gracelyn Mae. You have no clue the things I’ve been through.”
“You turned your back on a child.”
“They didn’t deserve my help. Not after the mess Mike made. Not after the storm he started.”
“If you turn your back on one, then you turn your back on all,” I said, quoting one of my favorite sermons Dad ever preached.
She knew the words, too.
For a split second, her eyes glassed over as she stared my way, but as soon as she blinked, away went the emotions. “I don’t have to explain myself to you. As long as you’re staying here, you need to listen to me. You must stay obedient, and you must remain graceful, or else more rumors will start about you. I know that’s the last thing you want. Keep your head low and do as you’re told. Do you understand me?”
“I’m not a child, Mama.”
“Then please,” she scolded, “stop acting like one.” A few people walked by, and Mama’s nerves continued to build. She stood tall and smoothed out her outfit. “You’re ruining our name. You’re ruining everything we work to protect.”
Before I could reply, Dad walked up to us. “Everything okay?”
Mama gave him a hard look. “Are you kidding, Samuel? Didn’t you see that scene your daughter made in the church today? Everything is far from okay!”
Dad smiled and shrugged. “I’m sure there will be another scene before the day is over, and people will have already forgotten about that.”