As Levi heads to the back of the house, I catch myself comparing the breadth of his shoulders to his narrow hips. I watch the muscles of his back and imagine what they’d feel like under my hands.
I don’t want to be a weak woman who runs to a man when she’s scared, but the truth—whether I want to admit it to myself or not—is that right now I am weak, both physically and emotionally, and the second Levi opened the door and pulled me into his arms, I felt like I was going to be okay.
Maybe after everything I’ve been through in the past two months, I can give myself a pass for a little weakness while I build up my strength again. Maybe I can allow myself to need protection while I search for answers.
His bedroom door clicks closed, and I grab my phone from my purse to call my mom. It only rings once before she answers. “Hello?”
“Hi, Mom. Did you have a good day?”
“I did. I took Phoebe to her music lessons, and then we stopped by the park to play. Such a beautiful night.”
“Gotta take advantage of the warm weather while it lasts,” I say, a lump forming in my throat. Talk of Phoebe is the perfect reminder that I did the right thing by leaving home. I won’t bring trouble to her door. I just need to figure out a way to break it to my mom that I’m staying away for more than a long weekend.
“Are you having fun?”
“Mm-hmm. It’s good to get out.” I scan Levi’s living room—the oversized couch and TV, the big windows at the back of the house that overlook a flagstone patio. Colton and I came here a few times, but not much. The three of us were more likely to hang out at the bar or Brayden’s house. Neutral territory. “I should go. I don’t want to be rude and stay on my phone too long, but I wanted to say good night and let you know I made it okay.”
“Thank you for calling. I love you.”
“Love you too. Kiss Phoebe for me.”
“Of course. Night.”
I end the call and slide my phone back into my purse.
“Who was that?”
When I turn to Levi, he’s dressed. Sort of. A pair of athletic shorts sit low on his hips in place of the towel that was there before, and his chest is still bare, his hair still wet. I still have this need to crawl into his arms and have him wrap himself around me until all the scary in my world disappears.
“I was just checking in with my mom. She thinks I’m in Chicago visiting friends.”
He arches a brow. “How long is that lie going to work?”
I wring my hands. “Through the weekend at the most. Then I’ll have to tell her the truth.”
“What made you decide to come back?”
I swallow and meet his eyes. “I decided that if there’s a reason to be afraid in Jackson Harbor, there’s a reason to be afraid at my mom’s. My niece lives at my mom’s. Leaving was the right thing to do.”
He pulls me into his arms again, and again I’m wrapped in the safe haven of his heat and the reassurance of his strength. He cocoons me in warmth and a smell that’s so uniquely Levi. Is it his deodorant? A body wash? Maybe his shampoo?
“No regrets.”
I pull back. Would he tell me about that memory if I asked? Would he put it in a context? Could I be remembering a dream?
“Want a cup of tea?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I’m good.”
“The guest bedroom’s ready.” He gestures down the hall, and I follow him to a small bedroom. There are stacks of old paperbacks in the corner, and the queen-sized bed is covered by a worn blue quilt. “Thanks. I really appreciate this.”
“I’m glad you’re here.” His gaze drops to my mouth for a long beat, and I wonder if he’ll kiss me again. I wonder if I’d kiss him back this time. “I’ll get out of your way.”
I nod stupidly.
When he’s gone, I sink to the floor, avoiding the bed. I remember the day I realized I was desperately in love with Colton McKinley. I remember the day he saved me from myself by stealing the Discovery collection, and the day he saved me from his father. I promised myself I’d save him in return. Instead, sometime between that moment and agreeing to marry him, I slept with his best friend. I rest my head on my knees. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper. Maybe Colton is on the bottom of Lake Michigan. Maybe he’s dead and can hear my apology.
“No regrets.”
I lift my head and stare at the dark hallway. I broke a promise to Levi, too. I regret so much.
Levi
The light on my smoke detector glows green in the darkness, giving me something to focus on as I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling.
She’s here and she’s safe.
I just have to keep reminding myself of that. Tomorrow we’ll talk about what comes next. If she doesn’t plan to stay with me, I’ll try to change her mind and convince her this is the best place she can be. Then I’ll convince myself that I can sleep with her down the hall. I’ll convince myself that I don’t need her any closer and that I can be the friend she needs.
My bedroom door clicks open, and the wedge of light from the hallway grows wider as it swings open. “Levi?”
I sit up in bed, blankets falling to my waist. “Is everything okay?”
She steps into the room, silhouetted by the hallway light behind her. She’s in a T-shirt that comes down nearly to her knees, and she folds her arms across her chest as she scans my room. “Yeah. I . . . I don’t want to sleep alone.”
Oh hell. “You don’t have to.” I pull back the covers and pat the bed beside me.
She starts to close the door and hesitates. “Do you mind if I leave it cracked? The dark is . . .”
“It’s fine. I don’t mind.” She pushes the door closed until only a sliver of light slants in from the hallway. I listen to her feet pad across the carpet and try to make sense of the tangle of emotions tightening my chest.
I hate that she’s scared. I love that she’s here.
She climbs onto the mattress and immediately rolls to her side, curling away from me. I shove my hands into my hair to keep them from reaching for her, but damn. Even from two feet away, I can feel her trembling.
“Hey,” I whisper. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”
“I have sleeping pills. My doctor insisted on prescribing them, but I just . . . I don’t like taking anything.”
“It’s okay.” I roll to my side and wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her back against my chest. “I’ve got you.”
Little by little, she stops shaking and the tension in her back melts away. I lie there, listening to the sound of her breathing until it becomes low and even with the rhythm of sleep. Even then, I hold on to her—so she knows she’s not alone. So I know she’s safe.
Ellie
Friday, October 26th
Colton comes to me in my dreams. Flashes of his smoldering gaze. His reassuring smile. His rough touches and sweet caresses. He fucks me in the shower, pressing my breasts against the cold tiles as he enters me from behind. He whispers dirty promises in my ear and reaches around to stroke my clit.
I’m half awake, half dreaming when he pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. It feels so good to have his warmth against me. How long has it been since we’ve had a lazy Saturday morning together or stayed in bed half the day? Neither of us in a rush to get anywhere, his cock hard against my ass, his body ready for me and mine preparing for him even as sleep drags me back under.
Dreams mingles with reality, wakefulness with sleep, and I arch my back and moan, rubbing my ass against him. I grab his hand from my waist and guide it up to my breast. His hiss against my neck is hot and so delicious that I groan. Sleep catches me in its web, even as his fingers tease my nipples and his cock grows thicker. I fade in and out, letting him explore me as we remember this old rhythm we used to know so well.
He kisses the back of my neck. “Are you sure this is okay?” he whispers.
The veil of sleep is jerked away. I’m yanked from my dream and stiffen in Levi’s arms. Colton. I was dreaming of Colton. Of happier days and simpler times. I’d forgotten I was in Levi’s bed.