Delicious Foods

I freaked the fuck out. Honey, I said—bluffing—give it some time. Like fifteen minutes. You gonna be crawling back on your stomach to get a hit. Slithering for my forgiveness. Let’s watch this damn trial, okay? I ain’t really wanna watch, but anything be better than a breakup in a courthouse.

 

Now it did seem real odd to me that them accusations against Delicious ain’t had nothing to do with some shit the judge called Certain Irregularities Concerning the Recruitment, Treatment, and Compensation of Laborers, but that go to show how tough it was to take them Delicious motherfuckers down. The prosecution had went on a roundabout strategy instead.

 

So the lawyer—some motherfucker with saggy cheeks and old-school nerd glasses who be looking like a failed vice president—ain’t said nothing ’bout tricking nobody into working for no company, or no jacked-up prices at no store, or no beating the bejeezus outta TT. He talking some shit ’bout how the bad sanitation up at Delicious done polluted the water supply with human waste, saying that Sextus and Jackie and How had lied to the IRS about the company income, and, of course, blaming em for having a interesting relationship with Yours Truly—the kind where they was sometime using me to compensate they workers. Which they still was doing some of. At that point I wanted to get up and leave—behind all the corrupt shit they was perpetrating up in that joint, I’m gonna get the blame again? And my best girlfriend gonna cut me dead? No, no, Joe! Motherfuckers was about to see a illegal drug go apeshit and burst into tears.

 

Otherwise, I don’t remember much about the trial, I turnt off to it. Once all the rigmarole and legalese got said by the lawyers and the judges and whoever, like a lion saying grace before it eat your ass, and the prosecution side made their dumb remarks, Darlene zoned out thinking ’bout Eddie and changing her life, and I ain’t want to face her new state of mind or the character assassination happening on me up at the bench. Judging folks ain’t my bag—I guess I could understand why y’all does it, since y’all got bodies people could rape and kill, and possessions motherfuckers could jack, you got to figure out the histories and smack people with the it’s-your-faults, but I get tired of that shit real quick. Who cares what happened in the past—for real! Y’all human beings has got enslaved to time, and that’s why y’all need me, because just like Darlene y’all need time to stop rushing into the future or chaining your ass to the past. That’s why this whole legal-system thing people got going hate me, call me a controlled substance and keep me from making friends with everybody, ’cause I know how to make time go away.

 

Eventually after all that blah-blah-blah up at the wooden desk, they gave our ass a lunch break. So I said, Darlene, honey, this whole deal so crazy-making, let’s go to the ladies’ room and kick it for a while. Maybe let’s not even come back. Everybody waiting for Sirius to testify on account a he be a Texas celebrity now with his social rhymes, but he had came with a li’l entourage and split early. He wave to Darlene cross the room at one point and she waving back, and he mouthed some shit that look to her like I’m sorry but she couldn’t tell. She mouthed back Love your music but she really only heard one song. Tuck snuck out the courtroom right on Sirius heels, probably desperate to beg him for a gig as a backup singer or some shit.

 

The top thing on Darlene mind was getting a opportunity to talk to Eddie. She had waved to Sirius, but she ain’t feel like talking to him on account a he brought the whole trial on. It’s all ’bout Eddie. So she start edging her way to the front, but a mad rush of people come out either side into the middle aisle, and my girl couldn’t push through till they got done. She turnt around to go the long way, but two fat white ladies she ain’t recognized, dressed in purple and pink, was sitting at the far end, fanning theyself and gossiping, and it ain’t look like they gonna go nowheres without a airlift. When Eddie come down through the crowd, he on the far side from her, the woman and child walking closer, and right up next to Darlene be some tall white lawyer guys with big guts and watch chains keeping Eddie from seeing her and her from reaching across and grabbing his arm or even getting his attention. She called out his name and his neck done twisted round, but them lawyers still blocking his view. He kept moving like he ain’t heard nothing but a echo from somewheres, but then he stop looking, and she ain’t wanna shout, so she ain’t said his name again.

 

Once the crowd thin enough for Darlene to get in the aisle, Eddie almost out the courtroom door. Next thing she know, somebody loud-ass voice up in her face yelling, Oh Lord have mercy, is that Darlene Hardison? And TT bear-hugged her like they was all good friends in the Delicious days, and he ain’t ratted her out on the TV. Motherfucker wearing a pinstripe suit that ain’t look bad considering all the ways she had seened him look before, but everybody from back then looked like new people to each other ’cause they had a bath, a haircut, and a decent set of threads. Some of em even had new damn teeth, and that made Darlene a li’l jealous.

 

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