“Yes.”
I looked her in the eye just a moment to let her know I wasn’t fooled, then I accepted her lie. I pulled a business card from my wallet. “This is my card. I’m going to write my cell phone number on the back. My personal email too.” I slid the card across the desk. “You can contact me anytime, okay? Anytime. And I’ll do what I can to look out for you.”
“Okay.”
She took the card and stood up. She looked down at her hands, at her fingers. Her fingertips were stained with black ink, imperfectly wiped off. All the students at the school were being fingerprinted that day, “voluntarily,” though there were jokes about the implications of refusing. Sarah frowned at the ink stains, then crossed her arms to hide them and in that awkward posture she said, “Hey, can I ask you something, Mr. Barber? Are you ever the bad cop?”
“No, never.”
“Why not?”
“It’s just not me, I guess.”
“So how do you do your job, then?”
“I have a mean streak, deep down. Trust me.”
“You just hide it?”
“I just hide it.”
That night, a little before eleven, I was alone in the kitchen, using my laptop computer which I had set up on the kitchen counter. I was cleaning up some odd bits of work, answering emails mostly. A new message arrived in my inbox. The subject line read—shouted—“RE: BEN RIFKIN >>> README.” It was from a Gmail address, [email protected]. The time stamp read 10:54:27 PM. The message contained a single line, a hyperlink: “Look here.” I clicked the link.
The link took me to a Facebook group called “ Friends of Ben Rifkin .” The Facebook group was new. It could not have been established more than four days before; the day of the murder, CPAC had looked at Facebook and it was not there.
We had found the dead boy’s personal Facebook page (almost every kid at the McCormick was on Facebook), but Ben’s page contained no hints about the murder. For what it was worth, in his profile he had been keen to present himself as a free spirit.
Ben Rifkin
is out boarding
Networks: McCormick Middle School ’07
Newton, MA
Sex: Male
Interested in: Women
Relationship Status: Single
Birthday: December 3, 1992
Political Views: Vulcan
Religious Views: Heathen
The rest was the usual clutter of digital junk: YouTube videos, games, pictures, a stream of vapid, gossipy messages. Relatively speaking, though, Ben had not been an especially heavy user of Facebook. Much of the activity on his page happened after he was murdered, when messages from Ben’s classmates continued to accumulate in a ghostly way until the page was removed at his parents’ request.
The new “tribute” page apparently was opened in response, to give kids a place to go on posting messages about the murder. The title, “ Friends of Ben Rifkin ,” seemed to use friends in the Facebook sense: it was open to anyone in the McCormick class of 2007, whether or not they had actually been Ben’s friend.
At the top of the page was a small photo of Ben, the same one he had used on his personal page. Presumably it had been cut-and-pasted from the dead boy’s old page by whoever launched this group. The picture showed Ben smiling, shirtless, apparently on a beach (the sand and ocean were visible behind him). He was making a “hang loose” gesture with his right hand. Down the right side of the page there was a panel called the Wall, filled with messages in reverse chronological order.
Jenna Linde (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 9:02pm on April 17th, 2007
I miss you ben. I remember our talks. i love you forever i love you I love you
Christa Dufresne (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 8:43pm on April 17th, 2007
this is the cruelest thing whoever did this. I will never forget you Ben. I think about you every day.
It is important to note that in 2007 Facebook was still largely a kids’ paradise. Its explosive growth among adults happened in the following couple of years. That was the case in our circle, at least. Most of the parents at the McCormick School looked at Facebook now and then to monitor what their kids were up to, but that was about it. A few of our friends joined, but they rarely used it. There were not enough other parents there yet to make it worthwhile. Personally I had no idea what Jacob and his friends saw in Facebook. I could not grasp why all this information-churning was so compelling. The only explanation, it seemed to me, was that Facebook was where kids went to be away from adults, their secret place where they strutted and flirted and goofed around with the bravado they could never muster in person in the school cafeteria. Jacob, certainly, was much more clever and assertive online than in person, as many shy kids are. Laurie and I saw the danger in allowing Jacob to carry on like this in secret. We insisted he give us his password so we could check up on him, but honestly, Laurie was the only one who ever looked at Jacob’s Facebook page. To me, the kids’ online conversation was even less interesting than the offline version. If I ever looked at Facebook back then, it was because the face in question was in one of my case files. Was I a neglectful parent? In hindsight, obviously yes. But then we all were, all the parents at Jacob’s school. We did not know the stakes were so high.
There were already several hundred messages on the “ Friends of Ben Rifkin ” page.
Emily Salzman (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 10:12pm on April 16th, 2007
I am still totally wigged. who did this? why did you do it? why? what was the point? what did u get out of it? this is just so sick
Alex Kurzon (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 1:14pm on April 16th, 2007
at cold sprg pk now. yellow tape still up. nthng to see though. no cops.
The messages went on like this, unguarded, confessional. The Web created an illusion of intimacy, a byproduct of the kids’ dazed immersion in the “virtual” world. Alas, they were about to learn the Web belonged to grown-ups: I was already thinking of the subpoena duces tecum—the order to produce documents and records—that I would send to Facebook to preserve all these online conversations. In the meantime, avid as an eavesdropper, I went on reading.
Dylan Feldman (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 9:07pm on April 15th, 2007
Jacob STFU. if you dont want to read it, go someplace else. you of all people. f*ck off. he considered you a friend. dickhead
Mike Canin (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 9:01pm on April 15th, 2007
Have to call you out on that Jake. You’re not the FB police, esp the way things went down. you shd keep your head down & be quiet.
John Marolla (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 8:51pm on April 15th, 2007
WTF? JB what are you mouthing off here for? go die. the world would be a better place. go f*ck off & die.
Julie Kerschner (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 8:48pm on April 15th, 2007
Not cool, Jacob.
Jacob Barber (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 7:30pm on April 15th, 2007
Maybe you all haven’t heard—Ben is dead. Why are we still writing him messages? And why are some people acting like his best friend when you never were? Can we just be real here?
I stopped at Jacob’s name—at the realization that these last venomous messages were aimed at my Jacob. I was not prepared for the reality of Jacob’s life, the complexity of his relationships, the trials he went through, the brutality of the world he inhabited. Go die. The world would be a better place. How could my son have been told such a thing and never shared it with his family? Never even let on? I was disappointed not in Jacob but in myself. How could I have left my son with the impression I did not care about such things? Or was I being a wimp, overreacting to the exaggerated, hopped-up tone of the Internet?
I also felt like a fool, honestly. I ought to have known about all this. Laurie and I had talked with Jacob only in the most general way about what he did on the Internet. We knew that when he went off to his room at night, he was able to go online. But we had some software installed on his computer to prevent him from looking at certain websites, porn sites mostly, and we felt that was enough. Facebook never seemed particularly dangerous, certainly. Also, neither of us wanted to spy on him. As a couple, we believed that you raise a child with good values and then you give him space, you trust him to behave responsibly, at least until he gives you reason not to. Modern, enlightened parents, we had not wanted to be Jake’s adversaries, quizzing him about every move, hectoring him. It was a philosophy shared by most of the McCormick parents. What choice did we have? No parent can monitor his kid’s every moment, online or off. In the end, every child leads his own life, largely out of his parents’ sight. Still, when I saw the words Go die, I realized how naive and stupid we had been. Jacob did not need our trust or our respect as much as he needed our protection, and that we had not given him.
I scrolled through the messages more quickly. There were hundreds, each just a line or two. I could not possibly read them all, and I had no idea what Sarah Groehl wanted me to find. Jacob disappeared from the conversation for a long stretch as the messages got older. The kids consoled one another in maudlin messages (we will never evr be the same) and hard-boiled ones (die young, stay pretty). Over and over they expressed their shock. The girls protested their love and loyalty, the boys their anger. I scoured these endless repetitive messages for some worthwhile detail: i cant believe this … we have to stick together … there are cops everywhere in school …
Finally, I clicked over to Jacob’s own Facebook page, where a hotter conversation was still simmering, this one from the immediate aftermath of the murder. Again, the messages were displayed in reverse chronological order.
Marlie Kunitz (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 3:29pm on April 15th, 2007
D.Y.: Do NOT say things like that here. That is GOSSIP and it could get people HURT. Even if it’s a joke, it’s stupid. Jake, just ignore him.
Joe O’Connor (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 3:16pm on April 15th, 2007
Everyone shd all just keep their mouths SHUT if we dont know what we’re talking abt. that means you derek, you tool. this is SERIOUS SHIT here. NFW you shd be talking out of your ass like that.
Mark Spicer (McCormick Middle School) wrote at 3:07pm on April 15th, 2007
ANYbody could say ANYthing about ANYbody. maybe YOU have a knife derek? how does it feel when somebody starts a rumor about YOU?