“That’s not something I usually hear anyone ask.”
“Maybe I value your mischievous side.”
“Maybe you have your own.”
“Maybe the two of us together would be trouble,” he admitted.
“Sounds like fun.” I gave in and admitted, “I’m trying to make myself look like Joachim’s maid.”
“I’m sure Damyn would appreciate you stealing his spell to torment the Olds.”
“I’m pretty sure Damyn would not be okay with anything that we’re plotting at the moment.”
“Damyn wants us all to be safe,” he said. “To wait patiently for things to change. He thinks eventually, the kingdom will pass to Jaik and the others. And he thinks that’ll mean something for the kingdom.”
Then he muttered, almost as an afterthought, “And for me.”
“I was surprised that your father seemed to want you and Jaik to make up.”
“I don’t know how genuine that is,” he said.
“Why would Pend want you and your brother to spend any time together? It seems to me as if your father is right. If the two of you were allies, that would be dangerous for anyone who crossed you. You’re both unstoppable in your own ways.”
He scoffed. “I don’t know about unstoppable.”
“I do. I promise, you’re something special, Caldren.”
He stared down at me, heat passing between us. “I don’t want to cause any more trouble between you and my brother.”
“I’ve told Jaik that I won’t choose between you and him,” I said. “Don’t make me choose either.”
“I’ll never try to make you do anything that you don’t want to do,” he promised. “I’m not that foolish. Now, which servant were you planning to impersonate tonight?”
“I thought Talith. She seems like the one who helps Joachim the most.”
“Good observation,” he said. “Let’s see your face.”
“I wonder where Damyn learned this spell.”
“He used to be a spy before he was a teacher. He’s got a long storied past from what I’ve heard.”
“Oh, what have you heard?” For some reason, I was deeply curious about Damyn.
“As nice as he might seem to you and me, he’s a good guy but not a nice man. He’s done a lot of questionable things in his time.”
“I think that we’re both doing a lot of questionable things in our time.”
“I wasn’t saying that with judgment,” he said. “Maybe I was saying it with admiration. Speaking of questionable things…what are we going to do once we get Lucien free?”
“Can you take him to Morick?” I asked. “He’ll have to leave the continent. Otherwise I’m sure they’ll track him down.”
“And Alina? He won’t want to leave her behind.”
“That’s up to her,” I said. “But she can’t leave tonight. It’s too soon. She’ll need to wait. We need to be smart.”
Caldren hesitated. “I think you’re making an enemy of Branok and Lynx if you spirit their sister away on a pirate ship. And so will I.”
“I’m not more worried about what they want than what she wants.” I chewed my lower lip and debated my next words. “You have to prepare yourself that Branok and Lynx might come after us both. They’ll know you’re connected to Morick.”
I filled in the gaps, feeling suddenly awful that I was inviting Caldren into terrible danger. But I didn’t see how I could complete the next steps of my plan without his help.
“I don’t mind a little bit of danger, Honor, I don’t know if you’ve noticed.”
Relief bloomed in my chest. It felt good to have Caldren as a co-conspirator. “I’m glad you’re on my side, Cal.”
“Always.”
The air between us seemed charged, and I felt suddenly awkward. I distracted us both by beginning the spell, and I tried to change my face to Talith’s.
Caldren raised both eyebrows. “I think you managed to make your nose off center. I didn’t know that was even possible.”
I stuck my tongue out at him. “I’m trying to imagine her face in my mind and I don’t know, I guess I spent a lot of time looking at her from the side. I’m having a hard time.”
“Here,” Caldren suddenly headed across my room. He rummaged in the desk in the corner, then pulled out paper and pen. He quickly made a sketch of Talith.
It was surprisingly good.
“Is there anything you can’t do?” I marveled.
“So many things. I’m a terrible cook. I cannot figure out how to convince Jaik to trust me again. And I feel very clueless when it comes to women.”
“I didn’t get that vibe from meeting all of your admirers at the Twisted Pines. Nora absolutely adores you. And the other women seem to look at you as if you are quite the prize.”
“Maybe I’m not clueless when it comes to women,” he said. “Maybe just when it comes to one woman.”
I chewed my lower lip. “I like you, Caldren. If I met you earlier, there’d be no doubt for me that I was falling for you.”
His face fixed into a patient mask, and I realized how hard and cold those words sounded. I forged on anyway. “I like you. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you by my side all this time. But I have to be honest. There’s something deep and feral that pulls me toward the dragon royals. They don’t understand it themselves. But I think maybe we’re all mated as dragons. I don’t really know what to make of that. But I worry about what it means for the two of us.”
I trailed off. I was sure that I’d just ruined things forever with Caldren with all that rambling.
Caldren nodded, looking not remotely surprised or bothered. “You wonder if the bond between us would always be lesser than the bond you have with them.”
“You are such a good man, Caldren,” I said softly. “You deserve the best and I’m not sure I can give you the best.”
“First of all,” he said, looking irritated for the first time, “You don’t owe me anything. But second of all, I’m not scared of some magical bond that you have with them. It won’t make our relationship weaker. I can work for it. Honor. I can work to make you happy. And I’m not afraid that our relationship would be less than someone else’s just because you have a mating bond with them and the two of us just have love.”
Love. The word seemed to hang between us. He gathered me into his arms, and I slid my arms around his lean, hard waist. He gazed down at me with his brown eyes softening, and I wanted to kiss him.
“I don’t need fucking magic,” he went on. “I know who I am, and I know who you are, and that’s enough for me. I’m willing to take that gamble if you are.”
I smiled up at him, happiness spreading through my chest, then went in for the kiss.
He stopped me with a finger on my lips. “Your face is still lopsided. I love you in all your incarnations, but it would really help if your eyes and nose were in the right place on your face.”
I laughed and tried the spell again using his artwork. This time the spell worked.
“Very nice,” he said. “Reasonably symmetrical.”
“Do you need me to look like Honor to kiss you?”
“Honor, I always know you,” he said. “It doesn’t matter what you look like.”