“Do you really think that your father will try to kill you eventually?”
“If he were a wise man, he already would have,” Caldren said. “Jaik is right, I’m just about done with the monarchy.”
“And would you feel that way if you were still a part of the line of succession?”
“Oh, Honor, asking the tough questions,” he said. “I don’t like that one. Now, what is it that you need? I’d love it if you had asked me here because you wanted to spend more time with me but I don’t think it’s as simple as that.”
A jolt of guilt ran through me. I wasn’t being fair to Caldren.
He must have seen my discomfort, because he waved it away. “Honor, I want to be here and I want to help you.”
“Thank you,” I said. There was a familiar sense of heaviness in my mind. But I could talk to Caldren without being brain-fogged into silence. I interrupted my own line of thought. “How come I can talk to you about anything?”
“Because I’m so charming and open,” he said, then immediately added, “Teris’s enchantment only keeps you from revealing your secrets to people who don’t know. After all, the elders want you to be able to answer all their questions.” He tilted his head to one side studying me. “I’m surprised that they didn’t destroy my memory. But then, my father said once that if the peasants must get testy, he’d rather they rallied behind me than a competent leader.”
“What an ass,” I said.
Cal smiled, though it was humorless. “I don’t want outright war. I’m sure my father sees that as a weakness.”
“Do you think there will ever be a rebellion?”
“I think an all-out rebellion would be bloody and terrible for all involved,” Caldren said. “I might not care much for my brother but I’m not eager to see the two of us fight to the death either.”
“Are you two ever going to fix things between you?”
“Probably not. I can’t change the past.”
“What made you guys hate each other so much anyway?”
I’d heard one story from Damyn, but I wondered if Cal had a different version of events.
“I was an asshole,” Cal said, frankly and without hesitation. “I was the older brother and the expected heir and I fell for my father’s stupid games. I could have more sympathy for why Jaik hates me if it weren’t for the fact that it’s so bloody convenient for Pend. It drives me mad that Jaik can’t see through his bullshit.”
“Have you tried, you know, apologizing?”
“That doesn’t change the past either. If he wants space from me…don’t I owe him that at this point?” He scrubbed his hand across his face. “Is that what you wanted to discuss?”
“No.” In a rush, as if I could race Teris’s magic, I said, “The other day I was in the house alone, and I went down to the basement. Maybe we could all go—”
A sudden dull ache started behind my right eye. I rubbed it absently, and Caldren’s eyes sharpened.
“Teris’s spell.”
I tried to nod, and nausea washed over me.
“All right,” he prompted me. “You went down to the basement. And that has something to do with dragons.”
“I didn’t want to go with anyone else,” I said. “Because…”
I trailed off. But he nodded encouragingly, as if he understood because the memory of being buried under the floorboards was still strong. “Yeah, for me too. I felt weak and trapped when I couldn’t help you. Jaik’s right about one thing. I should have been able to protect you.”
“Well, maybe I should have been able to protect you.” I shot back. “Have you thought about that? Maybe I feel guilty.”
He let out a laugh. “Oh, Honor. I know that you are very capable, and very scary. But I still want to protect you. Can’t you be both the badass girl that can take care of herself and the girl I try to protect?”
“Maybe. Anyway, I went down to the basement and I… I found something.” My voice stumbled over the words. I’d said something when I’d meant to say someone and I wasn’t even aware of Teris’s spell working on me in that moment.
“I can’t tell any of the others.” I managed. “I’ve been trying. But Teris’s enchantment stops me. And it’s not the only one. There are other enchantments, dozens, and I don’t know what they are. I don’t have any memory of them.”
“We’ll figure it out together,” he promised.
“Branok knows I’m lying about something. It bothers him. But he doesn’t know what it is I’m lying about.”
Cal muttered a curse and rolled his eyes. “Branok is the dumbest smart person I’ve ever met. I don’t know how he can be so brilliant and so foolish all at the same time. But sometimes I wonder if I could punch it right out of his head.”
“Sometimes I’d like to see you try,” I admitted. “But I don’t think that would make him any fonder of me.”
Caldren nodded, then rose to his feet. “Well, Honor. I’m going down to the basement. Just looking around. No idea what I might find.”
But there was a sharp look in his eyes, as if he’d already guessed that Lucien Finn was nearby.
Chapter
Forty-One
Honor
Caldren and I crept through the quiet castle. I expected Jaik to find us. He seemed to have a sixth sense for whenever I was anywhere near Caldren.
The two of us walked through the basement and I pushed open the hidden door to the dungeon. When the door was wide open and the stairs yawned in front of us, dark and treacherous, Caldren said, “I don’t like this very much. Not after Alis and Henrick’s hospitality.”
I nodded in agreement. He started to move ahead of me, and I shook my head. “No, I’ll go first. I’m the one who can palm light.”
I raised my hand, willed the flames into being. It was the first time I’d shown my power to someone while I was myself.
Caldren’s gaze reflected the flames dancing in my hand. Did it hurt him to be around dragon shifters and think about what he’d lost?
His eyes crinkled warmly at the corners. “Look at you. You’ve really come into your powers.”
“I won’t really come into my powers until everyone can see them,” I argued. “Until I don’t have to be Lucien Finn anymore.”
“Your powers are yours, Honor, it doesn’t matter who can see you.”
His words lit a warm glow through my chest, but I also knew that they weren’t the whole story. “That’s easy to say when you’re not the one who has to hide.”
“Is someone there?” Lucien’s voice was deep as if he were trying to sound strong but there was a querulous, terrified note. “Good morning!”
Caldren jumped despite himself, automatically putting his body between me and the non-threat that was the dark stairs.
“You are adorable,” I told him. “Don’t let Jaik ever tell you otherwise.”
He pulled a face. “Adorable isn’t really what I was going for, Honor.”
“You just can’t help it,” I said.
“That’s really Lucien Finn down there,” he said. “I thought that it would be and I’m still shocked. I really thought that he would be dead by now. I’m surprised Joachim would leave him alive.”