Chapter Twenty
Abby’s mama always said things looked much better in daylight than they did in the dark. She was right again. Sunday morning was one of those beautiful days that promises winter won’t last forever and spring is on the way.
The argument was the last thing she’d thought about as the whiskey and tears dulled her senses so she could sleep the night before. It was the first thing she thought about when she awoke that morning. It had been as much her fault as Cooper’s, because she’d run from the problem rather than showing him that she was willing to fight for what they’d built. Now she just had to figure out how to make it right.
She stumbled from bedroom to kitchen to find Shiloh cooking and Rusty with a cup of coffee in one hand and a stolen piece of bacon from the platter where Shiloh stacked it up next to the scrambled eggs.
“Where’d you go last night? One minute you and Cooper were all hugged up and the next you were gone. He was an old bear all evening. I finally told him to go home because he was putting a damper on the whole place with his pouting,” Rusty asked.
“He deserved to be in a bad mood.” Bonnie rubbed sleep out of her eyes and went straight for the coffeepot.
“What did he do?”
“Ask him,” Shiloh answered.
“He was a jackass,” Bonnie said.
“Never saw him act like that and I’ve known him since we were kids. What did you do, Abby?” Rusty eyed her carefully.
Rusty turned his gaze on Abby and she felt like those big green eyes of his behind the thick glasses could see straight into her soul. “It’s a long story and I’ll take partial blame for the argument. Neither of us handled it right.”
“She’s fighting a commitment war,” Bonnie said.
Rusty shivered. “That word scares the bejesus out of me.”
“It does most men and women, too, if they are honest,” Shiloh said. “Let’s eat before this gets cold. We’ve got chores to do and church and then we’re all expected at Nona’s for dinner today.”
“Damn! I forgot about that. Maybe Cooper won’t go,” Abby groaned.
Rusty picked up a plate and started loading it up with breakfast food. “Cooper does not turn down home-cooked meals, and you should know that.”
Abby sat down to breakfast and suddenly her mother’s voice was in her head. She shoved crisp bacon in her mouth, but not even the crunch of chewing could make Martha Malloy hush.
You are acting like a child. So you and Cooper had a fight and you are miserable. You think he’s not in the same fix as you? Adults talk things out, girl. They don’t run away from their problems. And remember, you could be pregnant, so you need to talk about that rationally, too.
Bonnie kicked Abby under the table. “You are doing that again.”
“What?” Abby asked.
“Fighting with yourself. You have this look on your face. I reckon we all do when we’re trying to figure out something and our heart tells us one thing and our head is saying something else,” Bonnie answered.
“Do you ever get someone’s voice in your head and you couldn’t knock it out if you hit yourself between the eyes with a sledge-hammer?” Abby asked.
“Oh, yeah. It’s called your conscience and mine usually has my mama’s voice,” Shiloh said.
“And mine has my dad’s.” Rusty nodded.
“Granny’s.” Bonnie shrugged and looked at Abby. “So who are you fighting with this morning?”
“That would be my mother,” Abby answered.
Her mama could give her a sign or maybe talk to God about sending one. She’d appreciate anything at all that would ease the turmoil in her soul.
“And what is she telling you?” Bonnie asked.
“To be honest with myself,” Abby said. That was all she was going to admit until she figured things out. A sign would still be nice.
Rusty changed the subject. “Tomorrow we’ve got more plowing to get done. Right across the field from where Cooper is about to tear up a field and put another crop of winter wheat. Y’all enjoy the day off, because it’s about to get really busy and believe me, come spring, it will be hectic even with all of us working.”
There’s your sign. Martha’s voice came through loud and clear.
Signs should fall from the clouds with a full set of directions, objectives, and side effects. They should definitely not come in vague terms about plowing a field the next day, but that’s all Abby had, so she’d have to figure it out on her own.
Plowing, fence, busy: those three words stuck in her head as she ate breakfast and did her part of the morning work. She’d finished feeding the hogs when it dawned on her. If she didn’t go to church and instead plowed that field for Cooper, maybe it would be an olive branch and then they could sit down and talk rationally about that commitment word.
She left a note on the table telling her sisters that she wouldn’t join them at church that morning and to give her regrets to Loretta and the folks over on Lonesome Canyon. She drove over to the Lucky Seven, picked the keys to the tractor off a nail in the barn, and settled in for half a day’s work.
Cooper looked in the rearview mirror as he drove away from the ranch that morning and noticed a truck that looked a lot like Abby’s pull out onto the road and head toward Claude. But then she’d been on his mind nonstop, in both waking and sleeping time, since the argument at the Sugar Shack. Granted, the whole thing was partially his fault. He’d hoped that she felt the same way about him as he did her, but she’d shot that down with her comment about being branded. Then there was the possible pregnancy and the fact that she might be leaving the canyon for good.
Or maybe it’s not even her truck. How many in this canyon look just like hers?
His fingers tightened around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He should have taken care of protection or at least asked her if she was on the pill. That part was his fault. He’d behaved like a jackass or worse, like an immature teenager, leaving her sitting on a bar stool like that. He’d caught a glimpse of her leaving and he knew she’d seen the drunk redhead trying to put the make on him. He should have run after her or at least called her the night before.
Don’t use that damned cell phone. Go see her face-to-face and have a long talk. I bet she’s as miserable as you are. His grandfather’s voice was plain and clear in his head.
He nodded in agreement. As soon as he finished taking care of the situation at the jail this morning, he would do just that. He’d show up with his hat in his hand and hopefully she wouldn’t slam the door in his face.
It was well past noon when he finally got away from the courthouse and drove back to the Lucky Seven. A dozen scenarios played through his head as he rehearsed what he’d say to her, and what she might say back to him.
“What the hell?” he mumbled when he saw her truck out in front of the barn. He wasn’t ready to face her, not yet. He still didn’t have the words all down just right to let her know exactly what was in his heart. He parked and his heart thumped around in his chest as he entered the barn.
“Abby,” he called out, but got no answer. “Abby,” he yelled louder.
Then he realized that one of the tractors was missing. He could hear the tractor engine running to the west and remembered telling Rusty that he had one more pasture to plow before spring. Trouble was the field that needed to be plowed under was to the south of the ranch house, not to the west.
“Dammit!” he muttered as he ran to his truck and left in a cloud of dust.
He could see the tractor before he got to the field where he’d just sown seed for a stand of grass a few days before. That seed had cost a fortune and little green shoots would be coming up any day. Yet there was Abby turning it all under. Was this his punishment?
She’s trying to help. Which is more important? A few dollars or her gift of labor?
He parked the truck and leaned against the fender as he waited for her to finish the very last round. The rows were straight, and not once when she turned the tractor did she grind the gears. And the pasture was all ready to be replanted. The Lord or fate or whoever it was had a damn strange sense of humor.
Cooper was supposed to be at church and then at dinner with Loretta and Jackson. But there he was waving at her and there was no way to get home without talking to him. Her hands went clammy and her eyes misted. She’d thought about him the whole time she was driving but hadn’t come up with a single way to approach the problem. Now she had to wing it and Abby hated not being prepared.
Life doesn’t come with a manual. You have to listen to your heart, Abby.
“You’ve been busy,” Cooper said when she stepped down to the running board and then to the ground.
She nodded. “It’s been a profitable morning.”
“I don’t like this feeling,” Cooper said.
“Me, either,” she said honestly.
“Can we talk?”
“Right now?”
She nodded, the lump in her throat getting bigger by the second. Abby covered the distance between the tractor and the truck and leaned on the rear fender, leaving a couple of feet between her and Cooper. Those old familiar sparks flitted around like butterflies in the spring. And that equally familiar ache in the pit of her stomach started the moment he gazed into her eyes. Then he moved around her and put down the tailgate. His hands went around her waist and he picked her up. He set her on the tailgate and sat down beside her, close enough she could smell his aftershave.
Desire twisted her insides into a pretzel and the temperature went from a chilly forty-something degrees to something so warm that she removed her stocking hat.
Cooper reached up and smoothed down her blonde hair.
“Static,” he said.
“Everywhere,” she answered.
“In the air. With us. I don’t like it,” he whispered.
That which does not kill you will make you stronger, the voice in her head said clearly.
Then I should be able to bench-press a damn Cadillac, she argued.
His hand covered hers and he squeezed as if he understood her thoughts. Five minutes passed before he said anything.
“You going first, or am I?” he finally asked.
“If you’re going to tell me this is over, then don’t. Just get in your truck and leave and I’ll take the tractor back to the barn and we’ll pretend what we had never happened,” she said.
“And if I’m not going to tell you that?” he asked.
“Then you can go first.”
“I sat in Grandpa’s bedroom all night and thought about how to say this. I thought if I was in his room, maybe he would give me some advice. He didn’t, so I’m having to wing it on my own. It was the most miserable night I ever spent in my life. So here goes, and I hope it don’t send you running like a jackrabbit with a coyote right on its heels. I’m going to marry you. It might not be this year or even next year, but eventually you will figure out that I’m in love with you and that you love me, too.”
“If I run?” she asked.
“Then I’ll chase you to the ends of the earth. That’s how much I believe in us. I realize it’s only been about a month since the funeral, but looking back, I knew then that you were the woman for me.”
She scooted across the bench until their sides were touching. “How?”
“I felt it in my heart, but I didn’t want to admit it. After all, I like red-haired women, not brunettes or blondes.”
“Like that one trying to undo your pants last night?”
“Yep, that’s the kind I’ve always liked, but I sent her packing because now I can’t get you out of my mind and I’m afraid that what you told Nona meant you don’t want to be branded.”
“I guess she meant that you were going to put the Lucky Seven brand on me, right?”
He nodded. “It’s an expression.”
“I’m not property and I’m not a cow.”
He grinned. “No, you are not.”
“What’s funny?”
“Your temper.”
“Are you a bull?” she asked.
“I will be if you decide to be a cow.”
“This conversation is crazy. I was joking last night. My first thought at being branded was that I’m afraid of needles, so I don’t have pierced ears or tattoos. I can’t imagine being branded. If she’d said that you might want to call me yours instead of branding me, I would have probably answered her differently.”
“Okay, now what about the baby?” he asked.
“I’m not pregnant. Before I started plowing I drove up to Claude and bought a test. I should have waited to be sure before I said anything to you,” she said.
He let go of her hand and dropped down on one knee in front of her. “Abby Malloy, I love you. I’m sorry that I made such a mess of last night, but I want you to be the mother of my children. It can be in nine months. In nine years. That part doesn’t matter right now. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms and to go to sleep at night in the middle of a sweet afterglow. I want to grow old with you on the Lucky Seven and if you die before I do, I want you to walk up the steps to the pearly gates real slow. I’ll be behind you real quick, because I can’t live without you.”
“That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, but are you absolutely sure that this isn’t just the moment talking?” she asked.
“I’m more sure of this than I’ve ever been about anything in my life, but if you aren’t, then I’ll wait until you are just as doubt-free as I am.”
She leaned forward and looked past his sexy brown eyes into his soul, and there were no fears.
Not a single one.
“I don’t have a ring today, but by damn, I’ll get one tomorrow soon as the stores open, if you’ll say yes. You can choose the date, the time, and the place. Just don’t ever leave me, Abby,” he said.
She cupped his cheeks in her hands and kissed him. “Yes, I will marry you. And Cooper, I love you.”
There, she’d said the words. She was ready for commitment, ready to start a life in the canyon with Cooper and it was right—that much she could feel in her bones, as Haley always said.
“You’ve made me the happiest man on earth,” he whispered.
“And the happiest woman is right here beside you. Can we go home to Lucky Seven now, Cooper? I want you to hold me for the rest of my life.”