“We have a ship.” That wasn’t technically true yet, but Matthias wasn’t going to argue.
Zoya waved a dismissive hand. “We have a ship too. It’s stuck miles off the coast. The harbor has been blockaded by the Kerch and the Council of Tides. No foreign vessel can come or go without express permission from a member of the Merchant Council.”
So Kaz had been right. Van Eck was using every bit of his influence with the government to ensure Kaz didn’t get Kuwei out of Ketterdam.
“Sure,” said Nina. “But our ship belongs to a member of the Kerch Merchant Council.”
Zoya and Genya exchanged a glance.
“All right, Zenik,” said Zoya. “Now I’m listening.”
Nina filled in some of the details for Zoya and Genya, though Matthias noticed that she did not mention Kuwei and that she steered very clear of any talk of the Ice Court.
When they went upstairs to debate the proposal, they left Nina and Matthias behind, two armed guards posted at the entry to the cistern room.
In Fjerdan, Matthias whispered, “If Ravka’s spies are worth their salt, your friends are going to realize we were the ones who broke out Kuwei.”
“Don’t whisper,” Nina replied in Fjerdan, but in a normal tone of voice. “It will just make the guards suspicious. And I’ll tell Zoya and Genya everything eventually, but remember how keen we were on killing Kuwei? I’m not sure Zoya would make the same choice to spare him, at least not until he’s safely on Ravkan soil. She doesn’t need to know who’s on that boat until it docks in Os Kervo.”
Safely on Ravkan soil. The words sat heavy in Matthias’ gut. He was eager to get Nina out of the city, but nothing about the prospect of going to Ravka seemed safe to him.
Nina must have sensed his unease, because she said, “Ravka is the safest place for Kuwei. He needs our protection.”
“Just what does Zoya Nazyalensky’s protection look like?”
“She’s really not that bad.” Matthias shot her a skeptical look. “Actually, she’s terrible, but she and Genya saw a lot of death in the civil war. I don’t believe they want more bloodshed.”
Matthias hoped that was true, but even if it was, he wasn’t sure it would matter. “Do you remember what you said to me, Nina? You wished King Nikolai would march north and raze everything in his path.”
“I was angry—”
“You had a right to your anger. We all do. That’s the problem. Brum won’t stop. The drüskelle won’t stop. They consider it their holy mission to destroy your kind.” It had been his mission too, and he could still feel the distrust, the pull toward hatred. He cursed himself for it.
“Then we’ll find a way to change their minds. All of them.” She studied him a moment. “You used a duskbomb today. Did you have Wylan make it?”
“Yes,” he admitted.
“Why?”
He’d known she wouldn’t like it. “I wasn’t sure how the parem would affect your power. If I had to keep you from the drug, I needed to be able to fight you without hurting you.”
“And you brought it today in case we had trouble?”
“Yes.”
“With Grisha.”
He nodded, waiting for her admonishment, but all she did was watch him, her face thoughtful. She drew nearer. Matthias cast an uneasy glance at the guards’ backs, visible through the doorway. “Ignore them,” she said. “Why haven’t you kissed me, Matthias?”
“This isn’t the time—”
“Is it because of what I am? Is it because you still fear me?”
“No.”
She paused, and he could see her struggling with what she wanted to say. “Is it because of the way I behaved on the ship? The way I acted the other night … when I tried to get you to give me the rest of the parem ?”
“How can you think that?”
“You’re always calling me shameless. I guess … I guess I’m ashamed.” She shuddered. “It’s like wearing a coat that doesn’t fit.”
“Nina, I gave you my oath.”
“But—”
“Your enemies are my enemies, and I will stand with you against any foe—including this accursed drug.”
She shook her head as if he was speaking nonsense. “I don’t want you to be with me because of an oath, or because you think you need to protect me, or because you think you owe me some stupid blood debt.”
“Nina—” he started, then stopped. “Nina, I am with you because you let me be with you. There is no greater honor than to stand by your side.”
“Honor, duty. I get it.”
Her temper he could bear, but her disappointment was unacceptable. Matthias knew only the language of war. He did not have the words for this. “Meeting you was a disaster.”
She raised a brow. “Thank you.”
Djel, he was terrible at this. He stumbled on, trying to make her understand. “But I am grateful every day for that disaster. I needed a cataclysm to shake me from the life I knew. You were an earthquake, a landslide.”
“I,” she said, planting a hand on her hip, “am a delicate flower.”
“You aren’t a flower, you’re every blossom in the wood blooming at once. You are a tidal wave. You’re a stampede. You are overwhelming.”
“And what would you prefer?” she said, eyes blazing, the slightest quaver to her voice. “A proper Fjerdan girl who wears high collars and dunks herself in cold water whenever she has the urge to do something exciting?”
“That isn’t what I meant!”
She sidled closer to him. Again, his eyes strayed to the guards. Their backs were turned, but Matthias knew they must be listening, no matter what language he and Nina were speaking. “What are you so afraid of?” she challenged. “Don’t look at them, Matthias. Look at me.”
He looked. It was a struggle not to look. He loved seeing her in Fjerdan clothes, the little woolly vest, the full sweep of her skirts. Her green eyes were bright, her cheeks pink, her lips slightly parted. It was too easy to imagine himself kneeling like a penitent before her, letting his hands slide up the white curves of her calves, pushing those skirts higher, past her knees to the warm skin of her thighs. And the worst part was that he knew how good she would feel. Every cell in his body remembered the press of her naked body that first night in the whaling camp. “I … There is no one I want more; there is nothing I want more than to be overwhelmed by you.”
“But you don’t want to kiss me?”
He inhaled slowly, trying to bring order to his thoughts. This was all wrong.
“In Fjerda—” he began.
“We’re not in Fjerda.”
He needed to make her understand. “In Fjerda,” he persisted, “I would have asked your parents for permission to walk out with you.”
“I haven’t seen my parents since I was a child.”
“We would have been chaperoned. I would have dined with your family at least three times before we were ever left alone together.”
“We’re alone together now , Matthias.”
“I would have brought you gifts.”
Nina tipped her head to one side. “Go on.”
“Winter roses if I could afford them, a silver comb for your hair.”
“I don’t need those things.”
“Apple cakes with sweet cream.”
“I thought drüskelle didn’t eat sweets.”
“They’d all be for you,” he said.
“You have my attention.”
“Our first kiss would be in a sunlit wood or under a starry sky after a village dance, not in a tomb or some dank basement with guards at the door.”
“Let me get this straight,” Nina said. “You haven’t kissed me because the setting isn’t suitably romantic?”
“This isn’t about romance . A proper kiss, a proper courtship. There’s a way these things should be done.”
“For proper thieves?” The corners of her beautiful mouth curled and for a moment he was afraid she would laugh at him, but she simply shook her head and drew even nearer. Her body was the barest breath from his now. The need to close that scrap of distance was maddening.
“The first day you showed up at my house for this proper courtship, I would have cornered you in the pantry,” she said. “But please, tell me more about Fjerdan girls.”
“They speak quietly. They don’t engage in flirtations with every single man they meet.”
“I flirt with the women too.”