You turn the light on slowly and I ask
Does your heart have a home
You put our hands together
And your smile covers mine
As I fade into you.
Separating my job from my personal life has not gone as seamlessly as I had hoped. Dahlia the photographer and Dahlia the girl whose fiancé was killed in front of her have mixed together, and I’m standing next to the person blending the two.
We are on the balcony staring into the night. Looking up into the heavens, I notice the sky is the deepest shade of blue, and the stars are brighter than they have been in a long time. He is next to me, leaning over the railing and gazing up at the stars. I smile to myself as I realize that I’m no longer in the fire pits of hell. I’ve been grieving for Ben for so long, I couldn’t even see past him and even now with this beautiful man beside me, my thoughts can’t shut him out completely.
River nudges me with his shoulder, and my thoughts return to him only. He captures my full attention with just a simple brush of his body against mine. With just our arms touching, I can feel the electric current traveling through my body, and my heart beats a little faster. I look over at him and smile. His head is cocked to the side, preventing me from seeing all of him as his gorgeous face fades in and out from the shadows of the night. He gives me a smirk that is so sexy I want to lean over and kiss him. He has to be the most attractive man I have ever seen.
Sure enough, true to his word, the view from where we stand is the most spectacular view of Las Vegas. The wondrous mountains, the clear night sky, and the flashing neon lights from the strip below act as our backdrop as we discuss his band and his own impending emergence into the limelight. River is down to earth and not in the least bit pretentious. So of course, not having been witness to it, I’m curious about his interaction with his fans. “How do you feel about being famous? Being asked for autographs? Do fans follow you?”
He looks confused for a second, then laughs, “I’m not exactly famous.”
I softly clear my throat and then insist, “Yes you are! Your picture is all over the Internet. Your band has a huge fan base, and I wouldn’t be here with you now, prepping for a photo shoot that will announce the launch of your second album if it were otherwise.”
Grinning at me, he asks, “How do you know my picture is all over the Internet?”
“I had to do some research before coming. I’m a professional you know,” I answer, slightly laughing as I tell him this.
“Did you find any good ones?”
Feeling like I might be blushing, I sidestep his question. “So have you had to sign anyone’s bra yet?”
Shaking his head, he snickers a little at my question. “I don’t sign and tell.” He sighs and adds, “When the band is together, sure we get asked for autographs, and sometimes when I’m walking around LA someone will recognize me. But really, I mean it when I say, it hardly ever happens. When we toured, we had fans following us around and people asking for autographs. To tell you the truth, I’m not really sure how I feel about it. Part of me just wants to stay unknown. The whole touring thing was hard. It was a constant infringement on my personal life. That’s why I’ve put off doing a second album for so long. There’s just so much . . . you know what, never mind. And don’t get me wrong; it’s not that I’m ungrateful,” he pauses and laughs, “If it weren’t for the fans, I wouldn’t be here—with you—trying to set up promotional shots.”
His raw honesty captivates me. “Sure, I can see how all of that can wear on a person. It always sounds so glamorous, but I’m sure it can get old.”
He seems to get lost in his own thoughts, so trying to lighten the mood I say, “Well no one seems to recognize you here.”