Connected

“Yeah it is.”

 

 

I can tell by the way his warm breath is hitting my ear that he’s not looking at the sun, and that thrills me. Being surrounded by River and watching the sunset feels so right that I try to rid my mind of any thoughts of Ben so that I can focus solely on River. However, focusing on anything right now is hard to do. His close proximity to me has brought me back to the edge, and free falling with him once again occupies my mind.

 

After we watch the sunset, River moves back, leaving one hand on the rail next to me. “Ready?”

 

“Yes,” I say, glancing up and noticing how his strong arm leads the way to his gorgeous face.

 

When I turn completely around, I see him for the first time since emerging from the bedroom. I notice he’s wearing black denim frayed jeans with a gray button-down shirt that shows hints of his very defined muscles, a belt, and his black work boots. I notice that he is about the same build as Ben, maybe just slightly taller.

 

River grins as he detects my stare. “Do you see something you like?”

 

Before I can respond, I stumble slightly, having started to walk toward the living room and River’s nose is at my neck, but this time only because that is where I landed.

 

River doesn’t waiver as he uses the opportunity to glide his nose to my ear and whisper, “Hey gorgeous, you okay?” I feel his nose at my ear; I feel his breath, feel his lips slightly grazing my neck. But unlike the last time, he doesn’t pull back immediately and the electric pull takes over.

 

Responding in a very raspy tone, I start, “Absolutely, I’m . . .”

 

River doesn’t let me finish my sentence as he gently pushes me back against the rail. His arms are extended on either side of me, he’s surrounding me, caging me in, but once again, I don’t feel trapped. He never moves his lips away from my neck as he repositions us. My breath is hitched and my heartbeat has doubled as I tilt my head back to allow him full access to my neck. He’s softly running a trail of kisses from my neck up to my mouth, slowly, lightly licking, softly sucking, until his lips finally meet mine.

 

Parting my lips, I think I hear a groan from the back of his throat, and I know I hear a small moan of my own as his mouth presses against mine. I’m frozen, unable to move, not even able to lace my arms around him because I’m wrapped up in a different emotion. It’s happiness growing, overshadowing the sorrow. I feel all of my darkest days slipping away, right here, right now, with him—and I’m paralyzed.

 

My body starts to tremble, and I put my hands on his chest for support. He’s gently kissing me, sucking my bottom lip before he suddenly presses his mouth harder to my lips, his tongue colliding against mine. As soon as I start sliding my hands down his chest, he groans again, louder this time but then draws back. And just like that, our first real kiss is over.

 

But it wasn’t just a kiss. It was so much more. When our tongues met, it felt like our souls connected with each other as they passed through each other’s mouths. This soul mate feeling confuses me, but looking at him makes me smile. He grins back at me as he takes my hand, leading me through the living room and out the door without a word.

 

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