“Ok, let’s go,” I replied before I gulped the rest of my drink.
The other girls were toweling off and grabbing their bags to head upstairs to the condo. I looked around my mini-paradise---the palm tree leaves swaying against the warm breeze, the seagulls flying overhead searching for their next meal, the stark white sand that glistened for miles under the hot sun, and the constant ebb and flow of the ocean at the water’s edge. For the first time I felt a freedom I had not experienced in a long time.
I left my single life of drinking and dancing behind the day I found out I was pregnant with Eli. Michael and I had no plans of marriage until we saw those two pink lines on that cold November morning. I had set my future of becoming a pediatric psychologist aside while I made arrangements to become a stay-at-home mom. My entire life seemed to have been on hold the last five years. I quickly learned that being a stay-at-home mom was not all picnics and play dates. I felt trapped under the interminable mountain of laundry, amid the infinite overflow of dirty dishes, by the everlasting song of the purple dinosaur, and with the incessant whine of a tired and cranky child. I could not remember the last time I had enjoyed a night out. I was actually looking forward to it.
I assumed Michael and Eli were just sitting down for dinner at Burger Land. Michael, the staunch and successful CPA at a prosperous accounting firm, was much too busy to cook while I was away. He almost balked at the idea of my weekend escape.
“Kaitlyn, I just can’t afford for you to leave right now. I need to go into work in the coming weekends to prepare for several big upcoming meetings. Work is just more important than some silly girls retreat right now.”
“That’s the problem, Michael. Your work. Our lives revolve around your work. You always put your work before your family.”
“My work pays the bills! Last time I checked, dishes and laundry don’t pay the bills.”
“That’s just it, Michael. Dishes and laundry don’t pay the bills, nor do they create a fulfilling life! I’m worth more than just being slave for this family! Do you know how depressing it is when your daily goal in life is to sweep up Goldfish off the floor and dig rocks out of pants pockets before throwing them in the washing machine? I feel like I’m in solitary confinement most of the time. And then my husband comes home and carries his plate of supper into his office only to disappear for hours on end, coming to bed well after I’ve gone to sleep. That happens so often these days that sex is not even in our vocabulary anymore. I’ve spent the last five years in this unfulfilling life, wiping asses and noses, sweeping crumbs off the floor, and passing a practically nonexistent husband occasionally in the hallway!”
Five years of pent up frustration barreled its way out of me in harsh tones and salty tears.
“We all need a break sometimes, Kaitlyn. Don’t you dare think you are the only one sacrificing your needs and wants for this family. I make sacrifices too!”
“Oh, really? You laugh it up with your coworkers at your lavish dinner meetings eating filet mignon with lobster tail and drinking $300 bottles of wine while I sit at home eating chicken nuggets for the third time in a week. When Eli was a baby, you played your endless golf games and slept soundly in your luxurious hotel rooms while I sat at home breastfeeding until my nipples were raw, and spent my nights cleaning up explosive diapers! I never realized those fringe benefits at work were considered sacrifices for you! Please forgive me if I was mistaken!”
My seething comments oozed with sarcasm.