I cup her cheeks and say, with absolute certainty, “Beautiful, I made that promise to myself the first time I kissed you.” I cross my finger over my heart and add, “I promise to love you always. How could I not?”
Hugging her as tightly as I can, I know I will never let her go. After I kiss her, I slide my nose to her ear and whisper, “And the instant you become Mrs. Wilde, I’m going to show you just how much.”
She nods her head and I see the goosebumps emerge, and I can’t help but smile. Grabbing her hand, we head toward the door. Amazing Grace starts playing from her phone in the kitchen just as we’re about to take our last steps as River Wilde and Dahlia London.
BREAKEVEN
What am I supposed to say
When the best part of me was always you
And what am I supposed to do
When you’re here but not with me
I’m falling to pieces.
Ben’s Journal
February 19th, 2010
Caleb called me today and told me he had a story for me, if I dared listen. Of course I wanted to listen. I’ve always been game for a dare. He told me it was not a laughing matter, but it was a story that would make my name synonymous with the best of investigative journalists. So of course I agreed.
February 21st, 2010
Caleb and I met today and what he told me blew me away. I didn’t believe him at first. I found it odd that someone would contact him just as his tour in Afghanistan ended with an offer like this. He told me their initial contact with him had been immediate. He gave me a USB drive with information I needed to research. When I came home, I loaded it and shit, when he said he had a story that would rock my world, he wasn’t shitting me. I was actually I little sickened by what I saw and knew the story had to come out. This was going to be a walk in the park and I’m going to be famous.
February 23rd, 2010
I’ve been up for twenty-four fucking hours straight. This is so much bigger than Caleb ever thought. I called him and left him a message over six hours ago, and the asshole hasn’t called me back yet.
February 25th, 2010
Fucking Caleb Holt. He’s been missing for two days, and then he calls and tells me I have to kill the story. He wants me to forget he ever told me. Well, he knows me better than that. I’m not fucking doing that. I started writing the article today and plan to release it the night of my awards show. I have to because it’s not only about me, but about helping other people too.
February 26th, 2010
When Caleb told me today what he told me, at first I didn’t believe him. I thought he went fucking nuts. He told me if I didn’t disappear, die actually, Dahlia and I really would end up dead. I walked out of the bar planning to ignore every fucking word he told me and publish that article. When I got to my car there was an envelope on the window. Sitting in my car, I opened it up. Someone had been photographing Dahl everywhere she went. There was even a picture of her with a man behind her at a coffee shop pointing a knife to her back. I threw up instantly. I know these people aren’t messing around. Fuck, what am I going to do?
February 27th, 2010
I spent the last eight hours with Caleb planning it. He had it all figured out. He paid someone off to take the fall for killing me. They would eventually be released on a technicality. He even managed to acquire a bag of blood that matched my type so that when I’m shot it looks like I’m bleeding. He wanted all the evidence back. Fuck that, why would I give it all back? I gave him enough and hid the rest in the house, a place no one would think to look.
February 28th, 2010
I have less than a week left with the girl I’ve spent my whole life with. Fuck, this is killing me, but I can’t bring her with me. She wouldn’t be happy living on the run. Today I sent her flowers just because I never do that. I know she’s going to think something is up, but I want her to remember how much I love her—forever.
March 1st, 2010