“What happened?” I ask again.
“He was in a car accident very early this morning, around two a.m. A drunk driver side swiped him and sent him into the median on Interstate 5.” Lucy wipes the tears under her eyes and I feel like retching.
It was after I sent him away. Oh, this is all my fault!
“Why was he out at that time?”
Samantha asks.
“We got in a fight,” I whisper. “This is my fault. Oh, God, I’m so sorry.”
“No, sweetie, no.” Lucy folds me in her arms and rocks me. “It’s not your fault.”
“Nat, you go see him. I’ll stay here with Mom.” Sam pats my shoulder reassuringly and I walk into Luke’s room.
My world stops moving.
He’s lying so still in the hospital bed.
There’s a bandage above his left eye and a large bruise on his cheek. He’s in a hospital gown very much like the one I wore yesterday. There is a clamp on his index finger, a blood pressure cuff on his arm and an I.V. in the crook of his elbow. His left wrist is bandaged tightly.
I walk over to the side of his bed and grip his right hand in mine, then sink down in the chair and begin to weep.
“Please, baby, wake up. I need to hear your voice.” I’m stroking his hand and staring him in the face, willing him to wake up.
Neil walks in the room and pats my shoulder. “They gave him some medicine to help him sleep.”
“Are there internal injuries?” I ask.
“No, he has some bruised ribs and a sprained wrist, and he got knocked around a bit, but he’s very lucky. If the car had spun in the other direction he would have gone over the bridge.”
I gasp and rest my cheek against Luke’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“Natalie, it’s not your fault, honey.
Couples fight.”
I look up at Neil in surprise.
“Lucy told me that you’d fought and that’s probably why Luke was out so late.” He smiles kindly and pats my shoulder again.
“I could have lost him,” I whisper.
“He’s going to be fine. He’ll just need some TLC for a few weeks. I’m going to take Lucy and the kids down to the cafeteria for some breakfast. Take your time.”
“I’m not leaving him.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
A pretty blond nurse bustles in and checks Luke’s vital signs and smiles at me. “He’s doing really well. Are you Natalie?”
“Yes,” I respond, surprised.
“He was asking for you this morning when he regained consciousness. He’ll be glad to see you when he wakes up.”
She winks at me and leaves the room, and Luke and I are alone.
“Oh, honey.” I lean up and run my fingers through his soft blonde hair. I hate seeing Luke like this, broken and vulnerable in this sterile bed. He’s so strong and steady. This is not him. It’s not right.
And I know that everyone says it’s not, but I can’t help but feel that it’s my fault that he’s here.
My phone rings and it’s Jules.
“Hello,” I whisper, so I don’t wake Luke.
“What the hell is going on?” I can tell she’s in a panic and I start talking, low and fast.
“Luke was in an accident after he left our place last night. We’re at Harbor View. He’s okay, just beat up, but they have him sedated.”
“I’m on my way.”
“Thanks, Jules.”
I sit at Luke’s side all morning as people come and go. His parents and siblings come in to hug me, and they take turns sitting vigil with me. Jules comes, bringing me a coffee and to also sit with me for a while.
The nurse and doctor both bustle in and out, reading machines and taking notes.
“How long will he sleep?” I ask the doctor.
“We gave him the medicine about six hours ago now, so he should wake up soon.”
“Can I snuggle next to him?” I look at the doctor, pleading with my eyes.
“His left wrist is sprained, and a couple ribs also on the left side are bruised. Stick to his right side, and you’ll be fine, but be gentle.”
“Thank you.”
I gingerly wriggle up next to his right side and kiss his stubbly cheek. I rest my head on his shoulder and run my fingers through his hair and down his face.
Oh, I love him so.
“I love you so much,” I whisper to him. “I’m so sorry for the way I acted.
I’m so sorry.”
I continue to croon to him, laying my head on his shoulder and resting my hand over his heart. I stay very still so as not to move him and jostle him.
I wake to Luke’s lips on my forehead.
I lift my head and find his beautiful blue eyes gazing down at me.
“Oh, God, Luke.” The tears start again, but they’re tears of relief. He’s awake!
“Hush, baby, I’m okay.” I adjust myself so he can wrap his right arm around my shoulders and I run my fingers through his hair.
“I’m so sorry. For everything.” He kisses my forehead again.
“I’m sorry too.” He brushes his fingers through my hair and I kiss his jaw.
“How do you feel?”
“Sore. Relieved that you’re here.”
“Sam found me this morning.”
“She did?”
“Yeah, your parents called her and she found me at your place.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “My place?”
“I went there this morning to apologize, but you weren’t home, so I was waiting for you there. Jules told her I was there.” As I remember those horrible moments of not knowing if he was dead or alive, I shudder.
“Are you cold?” he asks.
“No, I’m worried about you. Why were you out so late?”
“I couldn’t go home. You weren’t there, you wouldn’t let me stay with you, so I just decided to drive.”
I close my eyes and shake my head, ashamed of how I spoke to him last night.
“Yesterday was rough,” I whisper.
“Yes, it was. Will you tell me about it?”
I sit up and he frowns. “First, let me get the doctor so he can examine you, and once we get you taken care of, if you still want to talk, we will.”
“Don’t leave me.” He holds onto me tightly, clenching his eyes shut.
“Never again,” I tell him and his eyes open quickly, finding mine. “Never,” I repeat.
I reach over and push the red nurse call button.
“How
can
I