“Sometimes we need to let others do things for us. Because they can do it better. No matter how much it hurts or how accountable you feel.” She gave a sad smile. “When I moved in with Jim’s in-laws, I was a very independent teen. I was used to doing everything for myself. Cooking, buying clothing, getting myself to school. The first day that Anna’s mom packed my school lunch, I nearly cried. I’d been up late studying and overslept and was about to miss the bus. I was going to have to skip lunch, but she saw my need and took care of it. It was so hard to allow myself to lean on them. All my life I’d only had myself to rely on. It took me awhile to realize I could do better in school if I let her parents take care of parts of my life.
“Plus, they liked doing it. At first I couldn’t see that. But then I realized they took in foster kids because they knew they had the love to offer. Were the people at Samuel’s home good people?”
“The best,” Alex said softly. “But I hated them for hiring Besand.”
“He worked there? That’s how he came in contact with your brother?”
Alex nodded, not trusting his voice.
“Oh, how guilty they must have felt.”
Alex shut his eyes. He’d heaped a lot of blame on the Maxwells that he shouldn’t have. It was easy to focus his anger on them. He’d never accepted their apologies. He could still see Kathy Maxwell’s tears at Samuel’s funeral. He’d compounded their guilt by hating and blaming them.
Brynn saw his shoulders droop. “You held them responsible.”
Alex didn’t say anything.
“They knew the pain you were going through, Alex. They couldn’t have missed it. It’s written all over your damned face. If those people are as wonderful as you say, then they understand.”
“I couldn’t face them. It was easier to hate them. I’ll talk to them when I go back. I can see it differently now. And…” Could he tell her? It took all his energy to turn his gaze to her and meet her eyes. “I couldn’t face myself. I hid. I hid in gallons of hard alcohol and antianxiety and pain meds. I used them to avoid thinking, avoid facing what had happened.”
She studied his face. “You didn’t bring them with you out here.”
He shook his head.
“Some days I wanted to take them to meet with Besand too. I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him.”
“The same room? You went to see him?” She leaned forward, scanning his face.
“He’d tell me things he wouldn’t tell the detectives. He told me where to find missing victims and how he killed some of them.”
“In detail?”
“Too much detail.”
“Then why’d you do it?”
“For the other families of his victims. I wanted to spare them any pain I could.”
“It was your atonement for placing your brother in Besand’s path. And in return that murderer filled your heart and brain with his poison,” she whispered.
“I can become clean with one stroke.” Even he heard the hatred in his voice.
“Do you really believe that?”
Alex wavered. “I used to believe it, but now I don’t know.”
The cabin was silent. Ryan was in a rare snoreless moment. As Alex stared out a black window, he felt Brynn emotionally draw up inside herself. He wasn’t much better than Besand. He’d just told her he could possibly murder the man on sight. What was she thinking? Any second she was going to go lay down in the back with Ryan, put as much distance as possible between the two of them. How could she ever…
Her hand picked up his, and he started at the touch of soft skin. She’d taken off her gloves and leaned over the tiny aisle in the plane. She gripped his hand hard as he turned to her. There was no fear in her dark eyes, only understanding and…
His heart did a double thump.
“You are a good man, Alex Kinton. Nothing you’ve said can convince me otherwise. I see it in you.” Her gaze dropped to his mouth for a fleeting second, and his entire body hardened as if she’d physically touched him there.
“I’m a stupid idiot.” Then he proved his words.
Without giving her a second to react, he reached out, slid his hand behind her neck, and pulled her mouth to his. She tensed at his touch then relaxed into the kiss. Elation shot up his spine, and he ran his tongue along the seam of her lips, not asking permission, demanding entrance. She opened for him, and he thought he’d die at the sensation of the silkiness of her mouth.
He’d wanted to do this from the beginning.
He was too far away. He shoved up the armrest of his seat and moved to his knees in the aisle, ripping off his gloves as their mouths fused. Pain shot from his knee, but he ignored it. His hand went back around her neck as he ran his other hand under her coat and up her back, pulling her forward until their chests touched. Through two heavy jackets.
“Damn it.” He pulled away, and she gave a quiet protest as his mouth left hers. The temperature in the tiny plane felt like it’d jumped forty degrees. He wanted their coats off. Now. His eyes locked on hers as he tugged at his zipper. She lifted a hand slowly to her lips and pressed against them as if trying to prolong his kiss. His jacket’s zipper yielded and he reached out to hers. He slowly opened her coat, holding her gaze, giving her every opportunity to stop him.
Brynn leaned forward, meeting his mouth again. He felt her lips turn up in a smile as she kissed him. The warm softness of her chest molded against him, and Alex forgot he was kneeling in a plane in a snowstorm. This was right. Everything about Brynn was right for him.
He touched her stomach through her shirt and ran his hand up to her breast, thrilled by the feel of the curve against his palm. She pressed into his touch, her mouth opening wider, giving him permission to touch and take. She moved out of her seat, kneeling in the aisle with him. Every inch of his skin went on alert; his nerves shot into a sharp edge of need. Yes, he needed her. He needed her to touch him, needed her to laugh with him, needed her to share with him. Needed her forever.
He kissed her harder and deeper, pushing his body against hers. Every inch of him needed to be in contact with her somehow, someway. Her hands clutched at his shoulders, her thighs pressed against his, her stomach—
Ryan sneezed in his sleep.
Alex froze. Brynn straightened. Her eyes widened as she scooted back into her seat. Away from him. It might have been a mile.
Alex zipped up his coat and backed slowly into his seat. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “It’s all right. I didn’t…”
“I don’t know what I was thinking. My brain seems to go on vacation around you.” He slumped back in his seat. A headache thundered painfully deep inside his skull. Kiana met his gaze, her chin still on her paws and her eyes full of sympathy.
He knew exactly what’d been on his mind. Ever since he’d been in Brynn’s presence he’d been pulled toward her. An invisible rope lashed him tighter and tighter to her as every hour passed. He’d wanted to get a taste of those lips from the first second he saw her. With her so close, every other thought had been driven out of his mind.
“I know what you were thinking. I was thinking the same thing,” she whispered. “I wanted it too.”
His gaze flew back to her. She didn’t look annoyed or pissed. She looked…like someone who was ready to go a couple rounds in bed. With him.
“You’re living with someone,” he forced the words out.
She looked away. “No, I’m not. I asked him to move out a month ago. He’s living with his brother. It’s over. It’s been over for a long time, but he won’t admit it. He keeps saying things will work out.”
“Jim said—”
“He didn’t tell you I was pregnant, did he?” Her head swung back to him and those gorgeous eyes sparked. Alex feared for Jim.
“God, no. He just said you were living with the perfect guy.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “When did he say that?”
“Early this morning when we went down to the cockpit.”
Brynn pounded a hand on her armrest. “I’m going to kill him. I told him last night Liam had moved out and it was completely over. He lied to you this morning. He’s trying to protect me again.”
“Protect you from me?” Alex frowned. Jim had a point. A lying ex-marshal wasn’t good enough for his little sorta-sister.
“He must have seen something.” She looked into his eyes. She didn’t explain, but Alex knew she meant the sparks that shot between them every time he looked at her. He didn’t tell her where her head had been when he woke up that morning and Jim spotted them. Seeing Brynn with Alex must have really pushed Jim’s overprotective buttons.
Brynn dug in her coat pockets, a fierce glare in her eyes. “Where’s my phone? I don’t care if there’s no service. I gotta at least try to chew him out. He’s gonna get it. He’s pushed his nose in my business for the last time.”
Alex bit back a laugh. She was gorgeous in her self-righteousness. He made a mental note to never take anything about her for granted. “You probably won’t reach him. Service is spotty.”
She snorted. “Won’t know until I try.” She found her phone and cursed at the screen. “No service.” Contemplative eyes looked at Alex. “Let me see your phone.” He slid it out of a pocket. It showed one bar of service. Poor Jim. He started to hand her the phone and froze.
“Wait.”
Her fingers were on his phone, but she stopped and her eyes flared at what she saw on his face. “What is it?”
“He’s got a phone.”
“Yeah.”
“No, I mean Besand has a phone. He took Linus’s phone.” Could he call the fucker? Alex’s hand shook as he started pulling up his contacts on the screen. Could it be that simple? Could he get a hold of Besand right this minute? Hey, you dead?
“You’re going to call him? Besand? What…what are you going to say?” Brynn stuttered through the words, shock in her voice. She leaned closer to look at his screen.
Alex inhaled deeply and caught her warm scent. She smelled woodsy. Sort of like campfire and fresh pine needles. His entire body tensed and for a split second he couldn’t remember Linus’s last name to search his contact list. He hit the C key. There it was. Thank God he’d been too preoccupied to buy a new phone in the last two years.
His finger hesitated over the send key. What would he say?
He raised his gaze to Brynn and sunk into the brown depths of her eyes. She looked scared, angry, and curious. Anger shot through his core, and he hit the send key. Alex knew what to say. If he hurt anyone on his team, Besand was a dead man.
His hand shook as he raised the phone to his ear, still staring into those stunning eyes. Warmth raced down his spine. When they got out of here…
The phone at his ear was silent. No rings, no buzz. Alex looked at the screen.
Connected.
He moved the phone back to his ear and heard a click.
“What?” A voice spoke from the phone.
Alex knew the voice. Every neuron in his body fired simultaneously at the sound and intense pain exploded his brain. Besand. He lived. He wasn’t dead under two feet of snow. All Alex’s silent questions from the last three days had just been answered. The back of his mouth suddenly tasted sour, and he closed his eyes. He heard Brynn gasp.
“Besand.” Alex’s voice was flat.
There was a pause, and Alex swore he could hear Besand smile through the connection.
“A-man! It’s my favorite guardian of justice and retards! How’s the temperature in that tin can?”
Alex forced himself to exhale. The autonomic muscles that controlled his lungs seemed to have forgotten how to function. They worked only with direct commands. “Where are you?”
Besand laughed. Alex opened his eyes as Brynn made a small sound. Biting her lower lip, she leaned forward and braced a hand on his knee. Was that support for him or her?
“Would you pay me a visit if I told you? I’ve missed our chats.”
Red fury clouded his vision. Brynn’s fingers tightened on his leg, and the cloud lessened somewhat.
“Can’t be too bad with that hot blonde in there. Wish I had one with me. It’d give me something to do.”
Alex swallowed hard and laid his hand on top of Brynn’s and gently squeezed. He’s trying to make me react. Rule one. Don’t react. “I’m sure you’re staying plenty busy yanking on your dick. No audience out here though. You miss the other prison bitches watching?”
One side of Brynn’s mouth fought to pull into a smile, but her eyes looked horrified at his words. Besand always brought out the asshole in him.
“Fuck you! You know I’m not—”
The connection was lost and the screen flashed the short time of the call. Alex felt like he’d rolled in pig shit. He shook his shoulders trying to get rid of the sensation. He turned off the phone; no way was he calling back. He’d found out what he needed to know. The killer still lived and was obviously close enough to know they were still in the plane.
Brynn’s other hand slid on top of his, sandwiching his between her two. Her heat gently rolled through him, and he felt the filth dissolve from his skin.
The sound of a throat clearing made her yank her hands back. Both of them turned to the rear of the plane. Ryan sat up in the cargo area, his hair sticking up at all angles, his gaze unfocused. “Who’s jacking off?”
“Alex!” A male voice spoke in his dreams.
Kiana barked.
Alex jerked awake in the dark, his hand going for the SIG he’d placed on the floor above his head. Crushed against his back was a soft, warm figure.
Brynn.
After telling Ryan what had happened on the phone, the sick man had fallen back to sleep. After another half hour of talk, Alex and Brynn crawled in the cargo area and stretched out next to Ryan. Alex had lain there for what seemed like forever, listening to Ryan snore, listening for sounds from outside.
“Alex! Ryan!”
Jim’s voice.