“We both should have known better.”
He shook his head. “I always used protection until you.” He groaned, running a hand through his hair, tousling it completely. “Fuck. You realize your old man is going to cut off my balls and stuff them in my mouth so I’ll choke on them.”
I couldn’t deny it. Dad would completely lose it if I was pregnant with Maddox’s child.
Maddox tilted his head, looking aghast. “How can this not be the thing that worries you most right now?”
I pursed my lips. “I want kids. Of course not now. But even if I got pregnant unplanned, I’d be fine. I’d love the baby and my family would support me.” I searched his eyes. “You wouldn’t have to worry about it.”
Maddox slid his arm around my waist. “Let me be clear. I sure as fuck would worry about it and take care of it and you. I never thought about having kids and definitely not now, but if I put a baby inside of you, then I’m going to be a father to it, and I’ll help you raise it.” He shook his head in shock again. “Holy shit. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope you’re not pregnant. I want us to figure us out first.”
“You’re right. I feel the same way.” I was glad that Maddox wanted to take care of the baby. If he had refused to even consider the possibility of taking care of it, he wouldn’t have been the right man for me. “I want my family to accept you before we grow our own family.”
I blushed. We were still too early in our relationship to consider kids but I wanted kids and I wanted to be with Maddox.
“I think we need to sit down and talk, really talk about how we can make this, make us, work,” I said quietly.
“We love each other. What else do we need?”
I had never said that I loved him. And I still didn’t feel ready to say it aloud.
“I mean, I love you,” Maddox said.
“Love doesn’t exist in a void, it has to withstand outside influences, some of which won’t be in its favor. Love isn’t always enough.”
“It took me twenty-five years to find a woman I love, and I sure as fuck won’t let anyone take this love away from me.”
“Do you think I want that? But we need to make sure we’re on the same page, or at least in the same book.”
“No book references, please. I don’t even remember the last time I was forced to read.”
“That was probably the problem, that people forced you to do something. Anyway, that’s not the point. If I’m pregnant, we’ll have to marry, and even if I’m not, people will expect us to seal the bond if we want to be together.”
“Whoa, Snow White, one step after the other. Marriage is a big ass step for me, not sure I want to discuss it tonight.”
Gianna knocked gently on the door and stepped inside. “Judging from the look of horror on biker boy’s face, I guess you told him.”
“I’m not horrified of a possible baby, only about losing my dick and balls to Luca’s wrath.”
Gianna nodded sagely. “I suppose that will be your fate if he finds out. But I should tell you that my sister Aria will probably assist him. I doubt she’ll be happy if you get Marci pregnant out of wedlock and before she gets a degree.”
Maddox let out a halfhearted laugh.
Gianna handed me the test. “Come on, take it and free biker boy from his panic.”
“Or his balls,” Maddox murmured.
“Okay,” I said. I slipped out of the living room, the test safely hidden in my jeans, but Dad wasn’t in the foyer. I doubted he was very far, so I quickly rushed into the bathroom to do the test.
When I walked back into the living room ten minutes later, Maddox was pacing the room. He froze when he spotted me.
“You get to keep your balls,” I said with a shrug. I felt relieved. So far I hadn’t allowed the idea of a possible pregnancy to take root in my mind, but now that I wasn’t pregnant, I could allow my emotions out. Being pregnant at this point would have made things infinitely more complicated, for me, for Maddox, for my family.
Maddox crossed the room and hugged me. “I’m relieved, but a tiny part of me is disappointed. We’d have made the prettiest babies.”
I shrugged. “One day maybe.”
“I’d never thought I’d say it, but one day maybe I’d like to knock you up and produce the prettiest babies on the planet. And if there’s anyone I’d ever consider marrying, then it’s you.”
“As entertaining as this conversation is, I need to go back home, and you should probably emerge from this room before Luca loses his meager amount of patience.”
I peered up at Maddox, reluctant to let him leave but Gianna was right. Dad would completely lose it if Maddox didn’t leave soon.
Maddox tightened his hold on me. “Maybe I can sneak into your room through your window. Do you have a fire ladder or something like that?”
I laughed. “Even if we had, you’d end up with a bullet in your head before you could reveal yourself.”
“And even if I revealed my identity,” he said, then in a much lower voice. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yes,” I said.
“When will I see you again?”
I should probably ask Dad, but I didn’t want to have to ask permission every time I met Maddox. “I have my next tattoo appointment tomorrow?”
The tattooist had advised me to wait between appointments but I wanted to get the tattoo done as quickly as possible. Every day that Earl’s words were still readable was one too many.
“I’ll be there.”
Gianna cleared her throat, her hand on the door handle.
I pulled myself away from Maddox but he tugged me against his chest once more and stole another kiss before I could finally bring distance between us. When Gianna opened the door, Dad was already in the foyer, looking grim.
Maddox was clever enough to keep a distance between us as he followed Gianna and me into the foyer.
“Next time, you better send me a message before you drop by,” Dad said as a way of goodbye as he led Maddox outside.
Maddox gave him a sardonic smile before he sent me a wink. Then he disappeared from view and Dad closed the door. He turned around, searching my eyes. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for.
“I should go,” Gianna said.
“I suppose you kept your eyes on them the entire time,” Dad muttered sarcastically.
Gianna rolled her eyes. “She was alone with him for weeks, Luca. I think she can handle a few minutes with him. Marcella isn’t a little girl anymore. She had to grow up to survive, like we all do eventually.”
Dad’s expression twisted with anger but also with guilt. When Gianna was gone, I approached him and touched his arm. “I’m fine, Dad. You can’t protect me from the fights lying ahead of me, but as your daughter, I’m well equipped to win them, so please don’t worry. Let me handle my problems with my own weapons.”
“I’d never thought watching you grow up would be so hard. I just want to lock you into a tower, far away from all the dangers of this world.”
I pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I can handle danger.”
Dad nodded, and I headed upstairs, back into my room.
Tonight, I wouldn’t seek shelter in Amo’s room. I had to make good on my words and find my figurative lady balls.