It made her crazy, because she knew she was falling hard for this man, but she fought the idea, knowing it was too soon. Knowing there was still too much she didn’t know about this man. She hadn’t even met his friends. His family. Though she doubted that would ever come. He hated them. He’d made no secret about that.
She couldn’t imagine hating her family. She’d adored her mother and mourned her after her passing. But she hated her father, so who was she to judge Ash? But then, she didn’t count her father as family. Because family didn’t bail on you. Not true family.
No, her father was a sperm donor and nothing else.
“Baby, you’re not here.”
Ash’s gentle reprimand brought her abruptly back to the present and out of her scattered thoughts. She glanced up to see him staring down at her, his brows drawn together as he slid his cock from her mouth.
She flushed, guilty that she’d been caught out so easily. There was no hiding from Ash. He saw everything. He was in tune with her moods, her thoughts. It was scary to her that he read her so easily after only a week together.
“What are you thinking about, baby? Because it’s definitely not my dick. Not that what you’re doing doesn’t feel good, but your head’s not in it.”
She sighed and rocked back on her heels, her fingers still wrapped around his length.
“Sorry, Ash. My fault. I was just thinking about a hundred different things.”
She wondered if he’d punish her. It’s certainly what Michael would have done. And his punishments weren’t kinky pleasures. They hurt. They were meant to hurt.
Ash’s gaze narrowed as he continued to study her. “What the hell is going through your head right now? Whatever it is, I don’t like it.”
She pursed her lips, almost allowing the word “nothing” to slip out. It would do no good to deny him. He’d only push her until she gave him the truth. He liked bluntness and honesty. He liked knowing what was going on in her head.
“I was wondering if you’d punish me for zoning out,” she said quietly. “And I was thinking about Michael’s punishments and the fact that he would absolutely have punished me for not giving him my full attention. And his punishments aren’t kinky pleasurable punishments like yours. They . . . hurt. Just hurt. There’s no pleasure in them.”
There was a spark of rage in Ash’s eyes that made her withdraw her hand instinctively. Darkness tracked over his entire face and she immediately regretted the fact that she’d been so honest. She shouldn’t have brought up Michael. Not brought him into Ash’s apartment. Into their lives.
She lowered her gaze, knotting her fingers together between her knees.
Above her, Ash swore but she didn’t look up. Then his hands closed gently around her shoulders and lifted upward until she was standing right in front of him. He pulled his pants up and refastened the fly.
“This is one of those times when we’re going to talk, but we’re going to do it with you in my arms.”
He didn’t look angry, and relief coursed through her. Damn it, but it was hard navigating the waters of a new relationship. Always worrying about doing or saying the wrong thing was exhausting. She didn’t want to screw this up. She was already half in love, okay maybe a lot in love with Ash, and she wanted to see where things would take them.
Ash turned her toward the couch and then sat, pulling her with him. His hands slid over her body, up her arms, before giving her another gentle squeeze. He cupped her face, thumbed the small area right at the corner of her mouth where there was still the faintest hint of a bruise.