“But how? I mean I understand where you’re coming from about the line between fantasy and reality. I get that Michael obviously wanted a game. It wasn’t real with him, and I realized I didn’t want to play a game. But if I’m not even sure of what I want, how can you be expected to know?”
He smiled and reached over to slide his palm over her hand again. “That’s my job. Yours is to submit, to give freely of yourself. My job is to be in tune with your needs and desires, to know them better than my own.”
“It sounds too good to be true,” she admitted. “You say this isn’t fantasy. That it would be real with you, but it sounds like fantasy.”
“You won’t know unless you take the plunge. But believe me when I say this is no game. If you submit to me, you’ll know it’s real. No playacting. No silly games. You’ll feel that to your bones. I guarantee it.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to say yes. To take the plunge as he labeled it. But it would be stupid of her not to take time to think about it, preferably when he wasn’t sitting across from her seducing her with every look, every touch and every word that came out of his mouth.
There was no doubt that he called to a part of her soul that had never been stirred. He made her want things she’d never considered. She knew without a doubt that a relationship with him would be far different than what she’d had with Michael. And she wasn’t entirely certain she could handle that. Ash was an overwhelming presence. He in turns frightened her and intrigued her.
“I’ll think about it,” she said in a quiet voice. “I need time, Ash. This is . . . heavy. It’s a huge decision and one I can’t make lightly. I wouldn’t want to disrespect you by agreeing and then immediately balking at the terms of our relationship. If I agree then I have to know that I’m capable of giving you all the things you want.”
“I’ll give you time,” he said. “I hope that you won’t take too long, but also know there is no time limit on your decision. I’m not going to take up with another woman in a week because you haven’t given me your decision. You need to know there is no other woman. No one I’m considering. The other thing you need to know is that I don’t make this offer lightly. In fact, I’ve never asked another woman for this kind of relationship.”
Her brow furrowed. “But you said this is who you are. What you are. How can you never have asked another woman for these things? I doubt you’ve been celibate forever.”
He laughed. “No, indeed not. The women I’ve been with all knew the score. What I expected and what I’d take. But I never considered those actual relationships, because going in, she and I both knew it was very temporary. Hardly what I’d call an actual relationship.”
“So I wouldn’t be temporary?” she asked, voicing perhaps her biggest fear. That he’d grow tired of her in a week’s time and simply move on to someone else.
But then what was she expecting? What was she even asking for? Something long-term? How could she ask that of him when she wasn’t sure she wanted something more permanent? It was a huge leap to be making. It was possible that she wouldn’t be able to handle the demands he made. And yet, the idea of him only wanting a temporary fling unsettled her.
“I can’t say with any authority what you’ll be, Josie,” he said in a quiet voice. “But what I can say is that no, you most certainly will not be temporary. I intend to keep you for a very long time. And if it makes you feel better, I’ve never asked a woman for anything longer than a few weeks, and none of those women had the hold on me that you already have.”
Warmth traveled through her veins, sending pleasure into her chest. It was silly. This giddy feeling that she was somehow more to him than any other woman. But what woman didn’t like to feel that way about the man she was with?
No matter what the future had in store for them and any relationship they entered, she was comforted by the thought that for whatever reason, he felt for her what he hadn’t felt for another woman.