“And now?” he asked quietly.
“You’ve changed me, Ash. I don’t know if it’s all good. Or all bad. I don’t know that it’s either. It just is. You’ve changed me. Made me better in some ways. Murky in others.”
“I don’t want you to ever be touched by the gray areas I’m immersed in, baby. I want you clean. I want you to shine, just like you always do. We’ll never talk about this again. Don’t ask and I’m not going to say. You may know things—I will not lie to you—but you will not be confronted with them. Ever. Can you live with that?”
“Yeah,” she whispered. “I can live with that.”
“I love you, baby,” Ash said in a tight voice, filled with emotion. “I don’t deserve your love or your shine, but I want it because with you I can feel the sun. I don’t want to go back to those shadows.”
“You don’t have to,” she said quietly. “Stay in the sun. With me.”
“Always, darling. Nothing will touch our children, Josie. You have my word. Nothing ever touches you or our kids. Gabe or Jace, Mia and Bethany. You’re my family. I’d die for any one of you and you’ll all stay in the sun where you belong.”
“You belong there too, Ash. And I want you there with me.”
She broke off, frowning as she realized what he’d said.
“Wait, are we having children?”
He smiled, slow and sexy, his eyes knowing. Arrogance and male confidence radiated in waves. “You’re having my babies, Josie. Bank on that. How many is up to you. I want boys first. And then a little girl. Because she’ll need big brothers who’ll always look out for her. They’ll be different from my brothers. They’ll give a shit. We’ll be a real family.”
Josie sent him a tender smile, full of her love for him. “Yeah. We’ll be a real family. I want six. Think you can handle that?”
Ash looked dumbstruck. “Six? Holy shit, woman. That’s a hell of a lot of knocking you up I gotta do.”
She nodded solemnly. “Don’t you think we should get started?”
“Hell yeah,” he muttered. “Don’t want to be an old bastard when you have the last one. But you have to get well and out of the hospital before we start working on that first baby.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny box.
“I wanted to do this at just the perfect moment,” he said gruffly. “But I can’t think of a more perfect time than when we’re talking about our kids and how many we’ll have.”
He opened the box and Josie gasped as she stared down at a gorgeous diamond ring. It sparkled and caught the sunlight streaming through her window, dazzling her with its brilliance.
He lowered himself to one knee beside her bed and gently took her left hand in his.
“Will you marry me, Josie? Have my babies and put up with me for the rest of your life? No one will ever love you more than me and I’m going to spend every day for the rest of my life making sure you know that.”
The ring wobbled and went blurry in her vision as he slid it onto her finger.
“Yes. Oh yes, Ash! I’ll marry you. I love you so much. And I want those babies. Lots of babies.”
He smiled and pushed himself back up so he could lean over, gathering her carefully in his arms. He kissed her tenderly, her heart melting.
“I love you too, Josie. Never want you to doubt that. I have a lot to make up for and I’m working on that right now. But it’ll wait until you’re out of the hospital and home where I can fuss over you and spoil you rotten.”
She reached up with her left hand to cup his cheek, her ring sparkling on her finger.
“I’m looking forward to that, my love.”
chapter thirty-seven
“I can’t believe you did this for me,” Josie said in awe as she stared at the very full ballroom of the Bentley Hotel.