“Brooke, go get Peregrine!” Molly snaps.
I turn to go, but it’s as though Perry somehow sensed he was needed, because there he is, running toward us. Gren appears behind him, and that explains why Perry is already here.
Gren is an Aud. They were likely in the Battle Room nearby and Gren heard Molly. Heard her panicked voice shouting Perry’s name.
I step back before I am run over by them. There is a mad scramble as Molly issues orders. Then Aria is in Perry’s arms and it’s like the night she was poisoned. The night of her Marking ceremony.
He carries her out, but this time we all follow.
He takes her into the Battle Room and sets her on the trestle table. Marron enters, making clipped demands for clean towels, boiled water, and surgical supplies from the Dweller Hover. I have never heard such a commanding tone from him.
I’m there. I know I’m there because I see and hear everything. But I am numb as the supplies arrive. Numb as Aria is injected with needles that finally relax her rigid, shaking muscles. Numb as her arm is sliced open by Molly while Marron aids her.
The smell and the blood make me queasy, so I stare at Perry’s face as he hovers over Aria. He speaks to her though she’s unconscious. He begs her to hold on and he tells her in a dozen different ways that he loves her.
The things he says . . . they are beautiful.
I don’t want to see or hear any more.
I leave the Battle Room, with its small army of people fighting to keep Aria alive, and wind my way through the dark corridors of the cave.
I wander aimlessly for a while, not feeling angry or hurt or much of anything.
All I can hold in my mind is hope. I want Aria to heal. I don’t want Perry to have his heart broken too. As much as it hurt to be left by him, he’s my Blood Lord. And he’s my friend.
He was my nemesis in archery competitions when we were young. He was my best friend’s little brother. Roar’s constant companion in tormenting Liv and me. A pest for many years, in truth. Awkward and gangly and too quiet, until the day he became gorgeous and graceful and quietly confident.
He is not just a friend, I realize. He is family. That means we have an unbreakable bond. I want him to be well and happy. Even if it’s not with me.
His face appears in my mind as he whispered to Aria so passionately and desperately. The bond between them is visceral, like Marron said in the meeting this morning. Life-sustaining.
It’s what I want.
Perry never felt that way about me. He cared for me. I know he did. Does. But he never felt that for me, like if one of you dies, you both die.
Then it hits me, and I don’t know how I didn’t realize it before.
I never felt that way about him, either.
6
It’s a revelation.
It’s a revelation, and I need time to consider it.
It’s a precious jewel; I need to hold it up to the light. Turn it, so I can see its shine from every angle.
I cross the main cavern in a daze, barely aware of the eyes that follow me as I pass the platform and walk outside to the sandy cove. I don’t stop until the waves are pushing against my shins. Then I stare at the ocean and let it come. All of it.
The truth.
There was no beginning to Roar and Liv. No starting point. The day Roar came limping into the compound with his grandmother, he was already in love with Liv. She was in love with him, too. Everyone in the tribe saw it. We all knew the seed was there; it just needed to emerge. When it did, Liv had something incredible in her life.
Something I wanted too.
But there was more to it than just that. There were other reasons I wanted Perry. My attraction to him was growing by the day, and he had always been honest and loyal and good. I wanted him for who he was, and for what he’d help create. A perfect foursome of friends, made up of two couples. Made up of two sets of best friends. Every combination felt good.