Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy

‘I think we’ve lost him,’ said Imogen. ‘Hang on.’


Just had another look at Grazia. Scarf is the thing I am missing with the skinny-jeans look, clearly. A floaty bohemian scarf, double-looped round the neck. Hmm. Also what am I going to wear for Talitha’s party? Maybe New Spring Whites? Gaah! They’re back. Greenlight, I mean. Not New Spring Whites.

‘Right,’ said George. ‘We want you to meet Ambergris and . . .’

‘What?’ I said, straining to hear above the roaring sound.

‘I’m in a helicopter. We want you to meet Ambergris and we . . .’

He disappeared again. What was he about to say? Wee on her?

12.30 p.m. Imogen from Greenlight just called back to say that George wants me to talk to Ambergris Bilk about the script, but not to say anything negative about Hawaii because Ambergris is into Hawaii. ‘And,’ added Imogen coldly, ‘he wants you to make nice about Dougie.’

Hooray, am going to meet an actual film star. I shall wear a floaty scarf!

5 p.m. Just got back from school run. It’s true. I now realize everyone has floaty bohemian scarves double-looped round their neck. Is odd, though, when remember all the years Mum and Una spent trying to ‘get me into scarves’ and I dismissed them as old-lady accessories rather like brooches. Now, is almost as if everyone has just read Grazia and said, like zombies indoctrinated by Red Carpet Girls, ‘I must wear a floaty bohemian scarf, I must wear a floaty bohemian scarf.’

Friday 17 May 2013

Minutes getting dressed and groomed for school run 75.

5.45 a.m. Have got up an hour early to get styled and groomed for school run in manner of Stella McCartney, Claudia Schiffer or similar. Feel my look is marvellous, still with skinny jeans and ballet pumps, but now with floaty scarf looped round neck.

7 a.m. Woke Billy and helped Mabel up from bottom bunk. Just as was getting the clothes out of the wardrobe I realized Billy and Mabel were giggling.

‘What?’ I said, turning round to look at them. ‘What?’

‘Mummy,’ said Billy, ‘why are you wearing a tea towel round your neck?’

9.30 a.m. Back from school run with latest edition of Grazia, and found an article headed: ‘Is This the End of the Skinny Jean?’

Am going to go back to dressing like the mother in Good Luck Charlie.





HEADY GLAMOROUS TIMES


Monday 20 May 2013

Film stars met 1, mini-breaks planned 1, parties about to go to with Roxster 1, rides in posh car 2, compliments from film star 5, calories consumed with film star 5476, calories consumed by film star 3.

2.30 p.m. Everything could not be better. I am about to be picked up in a ‘car’ to go and meet Ambergris Bilk in the Savoy. Have tried on various versions of the skinny-jeans/scarf/shirt-buttoned-up-to-neck celebrity-at-airport look but finally have opted for the navy silk dress, even though it is becoming a little worn. Talitha has helped me order some dresses from Net-a-Porter for her party and have got a really nice one which is J.Crew and not that expensive.

Also in three weekends’ time Roxster and I are going on a mini-break. A mini-break! Just the two of us, for the whole of Saturday afternoon, Saturday night and Sunday. Am so excited. Have not been on a mini-break for five years! Anyway, must get on with notes for meeting.

5.30 p.m. In car on way back from meeting. Was initially disappointed when Ambergris arrived, as had expected her to sweep in in skinny jeans, shirt buttoned up to the neck, blazer, floaty bohemian scarf and enormous overpriced handbag, so that I could see how it was done, and everyone would look at and admire us. Instead I hardly recognized her when she suddenly slunk into the booth wearing grey sweats and a baseball cap.

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