She turns and sees me, her bright blue gaze locks on mine, and she’s suddenly coming toward me, walking quickly on those tall black heels. Her face crumples and to my utter shock, she launches herself into my arms and holds on with all her strength.
“I can’t believe she’s gone, M,” she whispers and buries her face in my neck, the way she always used to, as if no time has passed at all and my heart feels like someone is stabbing it over and over with an ice pick.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper back and wrap my arms around her, holding her against me. “I’m so sorry about Addie, M.”
“At least I got to spend Christmas with her,” she says and sniffles. “She wanted to make it through Christmas and she did.”
I nod and give in to the moment and kiss her head. Fuck me, she smells the same.
How is that possible?
“I don’t know what else to say, sweetheart,” I murmur and rub her back softly. She’s still so slender. So small. Her hips and breasts seem to have filled out more with womanhood, but she feels just like she always did in my arms.
Like she was born to be here.
Stop it, asshole!
She seems to come to her senses and pulls herself out of my embrace, wiping her eyes. She smiles at Luke.
“Hi, Luke.”
“Nice to see you, Meredith.” He kisses her cheek and leans in to whisper in her ear. She smiles softly and nods up at him when he pulls away.
A man I don’t recognize sidles up next to Mer and wraps his arm around her. “Are you okay, cupcake?”
Cupcake?
Luke and I glance at each other quickly, but a whole chapter of dialogue just passed between us.
Cupcake? Who the fuck calls his girl cupcake? How can she stand that?
And who the fuck is this asshole?
Meredith smiles at him and gestures to us.
“I’m fine, Jax. This is Mark and Luke Williams. They’re both old friends of mine.”
Right. Old friends. I spent the better part of a year inside you, sweetheart.
“This is Jax,” she continues.
Luke and I both nod and suddenly, music starts and the service is about to begin.
We find seats in the middle near our parents while Mer and Jax walk to the front of the room. I watch her walk away, my eyes glaring holes through the arm still wrapped around her shoulders.
She lets him call her cupcake?
“So, she has someone,” I whisper to Luke.
“He might just be a friend.”
I smirk and shake my head. What was I expecting anyway? Some kind of fucking reunion? If that’s what I expected to happen, I would have rushed to her side the minute I found out she was back in Seattle early last year.
Not gonna happen.
The service begins with music and then the pastor talks about Addie and her contributions to the community, her family, and prayers. After a few more words, he asks for volunteers to share stories about Addie. There are photos set up next to the casket. Photos of Addie and Meredith, and family photos from when Meredith was very young.
Meredith stands and walks to the podium, white tissues clutched in her small hand. I wish I were up there with her, to hold her hand while she struggles through this.
“Hi, everyone,” she begins and clears her throat. “Thank you all so much for coming today. Mom would be proud and happy that you all thought so highly of her. She sure loved all of you.”
I clench my hands in my lap and watch, my eyes trained on her face.
I’m so sorry, M.
“You all know that Mom and I lost Dad and Tiffany fifteen years ago,” she begins, referring to the car accident that took her father and sister from them when she was only thirteen. “I guess I just keep reminding myself that Mom’s with them now, and they’re so happy to see each other.”
She has to pause and take a deep breath, and as she does so, her eyes find mine in the crowd. She seems to straighten her shoulders and continue.
“My mom taught me to be a fighter. She always said, ‘No one is going to chase your dreams for you, my love.’ And she was right. She showed me what it is to be a good woman, and to fight for what you believe is the right thing.”
She nods slowly, still watching me. “I will miss her. Every day. But I’m so happy that she’s not sick anymore. She was always so strong, such a strong, strong woman, that being sick this past year just pissed her off.”
We all chuckle and nod, knowing she’s right.
“So, although it’s so hard to say goodbye, I know in my heart that she’s so much happier now. I love you, Mama.”
She returns to her seat and several other friends stand to tell stories of Addie. Some are funny, others just nice.
Finally, I stand, button my jacket, and walk to the podium. When I glance down at Mer in the front row, the fucker Jax has his arm around her shoulders again, rubbing her arm soothingly.
I’ve never wanted to punch someone so badly in my whole life.
“I’m Mark Williams,” I begin and smile wide, looking over at Addie’s coffin. “I couldn’t be here today and not share a story about my Addie.”
Jesus, which story do I tell?
“I’ve known this amazing woman since I was a young man. She used to scare the hell out of me, mostly because I was dating her daughter.”
Everyone chuckles with me, setting me more at ease. “But I quickly learned that Addie was a no-nonsense woman who never met a stranger. She was generous and loyal. And although my relationship with her family changed with time,” I glance down to see fresh tears rolling down Mer’s face and it makes me pause. I clear my throat and continue, “Addie never treated me any differently. I visited with her many times over the years. Cut her grass, or helped her out around the house. And every time I showed up at her house it was as if she hadn’t seen me in years, and she always had a warm hug and a cold glass of lemonade waiting for me.”
I bite my lip and glance to the back of the room, lost in my own thoughts of this special woman.
“Thanks, Addie, for making me feel like your family. You were one awesome lady.”
I smile and return to my seat. Several more people stand to talk and soon another song is played as the pastor gives the benediction.