He scowls but backs off—a little. He’s like a fucking shadow, sticking to me like glue as I shuffle toward the front passenger seat. I can hardly be annoyed, though. If anything, it’s sweet to see how much he cares. He grabs the door handle before I can reach it, and doesn’t move away until I’m buckled into the seat, like I’m a goddamn child. I roll my eyes when he’s not looking, even while a small smirk lifts the corner of my lip.
He and Mason exchange a few words before they both climb in and we head back to campus. With every passing mile, anxiety ratchets up within me. My leg bounces repeatedly, and my palms sweat. I’m not even sure why I’m so on edge. I’ve done this before—successfully integrated into normal society. Sure, it took a while. The first couple of weeks were the hardest. I kept expecting someone to come after me and drag me back there. I couldn’t get used to no one hurting me on a daily basis, and the slightest touch from a passing stranger would send me into a downward spiral.
So, I’ve been here and survived it before. I should be able to get through it again, yet my nerves are still frayed. Anxiety claws at my throat, threatening to suffocate me as we drive through the campus gates and up the drive.
“Hey, are you okay? You’re looking a little pale,” Mason remarks once we’ve parked and he’s opened my door for me. He takes my hand and helps me out of the car as Hawk rounds the hood, eyeing me warily, like he’s worried I’m going to pass out.
“I’m fine.” The words come out more sharply than I intended, and I grimace. God, I’m such a bitch. They’re only trying to help. I give him an apologetic smile. “It’s just weird being back here…after everything.”
He nods in understanding and steps back, giving me a bit of space to breathe before the three of us start toward the dorms. The anxiety only gets worse with every step I take, though. I swear I feel eyes on me, and as I bury myself deeper in the hoodie, I glance discreetly around me. Every student we pass seems to stare openly at me, and whisper with their friends, and I constantly glance down at my arms, wondering if they can see the cuts marring my skin. Everything is covered though, and the only giveaway that I’m not my normal self is my thinner, paler face.
“What the fuck are you staring at, asshole?” I snap when yet another person gapes at me as we walk past. The jerk startles and scurries off.
“Hadley,” Hawk chastises. “What the hell? He was barely looking at you.”
“Everyone’s looking at me.”
He shares a look with Mason over my head before pulling me to a stop and focusing on me. “No more than usual. What’s going on?”
My eyes dart back and forth between his. But I swear they were looking and whispering. It was almost like they were surprised to see me. My brows furrow and I scrub my hand down my face. I’m becoming fucking paranoid.
“I need to go to the lake.” Hawk’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion and I can see the protest forming on his lips, but I rush on before he can argue. “I need to know what happened. How Lawrence got to me.” I lean in and lower my voice. “Someone must have helped him. I wouldn’t have gone there willingly.”
“Alright, let’s go to the lake,” Mason agrees, earning a warning glare from Hawk. “What, man? She’s right. We’ve been thinking the same, and she needs answers before she drives herself crazy, psychoanalyzing every kid in school.”
Pursing his lips, Hawk returns his gaze to mine, staring at me for a long moment before huffing out a sigh. “Fine, but the second you start to feel tired, we’re leaving.”
I smile at him and nod my head. “Deal.”
“I’ll message the others and tell them to meet us there.”
I’m still jittery with nerves, but the thought of finally getting answers and working out what happened the day I was taken settles me somewhat. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure it out, but it’s nothing more than a hazy blur. I’m hoping being back there will spark something.
It takes us longer than usual to slowly make our way through the campus and down to the lake.
“Baby Davenport,” Cam calls out, bounding toward me with a huge grin on his face that I can’t help but return. He wraps his arms around me, lifting me off my feet as he spins me in the air.
“Watch it, asshole,” Hawk barks. “She’s hurt.”
Cam drops me like I’m on fire, his eyes wide as his gaze darts over me, checking for any injury.
“I’m fine,” I assure him in a soft voice, reaching out to touch him.
He scrutinizes me for a second longer, until he’s satisfied I’m telling the truth. “Ah, he’s in protective big brother mode, isn’t he?”
“More like annoying big brother mode.” Cam barks out a laugh and I return it with a grin, while Hawk grumbles beside us and stomps off, only making Cam laugh harder.
I can’t help but watch him, noting the lightness in his eyes that hasn’t been there in months. He seems like his old self, the Cam I fell for when I first arrived, and I have no idea how he can be so at ease. It was only a few days ago that he found his father brutally murdered…at my hands. Yet, he seems completely unaffected by it.
“What are we doing here?” Beck asks. His eyes are glued to me, and I give Cam’s hand a gentle squeeze before I move over to join him. He tugs me in against him, turning me so my back is flush against his chest and his warmth seeps into my body, even through the thickness of my hoodie as he wraps his arms around me.
I glance at West and Cam before looking past them to the forest stretched out behind them, my forehead scrunched as I try to think through the fog that is my memories. “I wanted to see if I could remember what happened the day I disappeared.”
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Beck asks.
“I went to meet Michael. We’d had a fight just before Easter break, and he messaged saying he wanted to talk.” I pause, trying my best to remember that day. “We grabbed a coffee in the dining hall and brought them down here.”
“You’re sure?” Something in West’s voice has me looking away from our surroundings to focus on him. There’s an unusual darkness coating his expression, and his muscles are tense. Pinching my lips, I shrug it off as jealousy. I thought he’d gotten over that shit, but maybe not.
“Yeah.” Slipping out of Beck’s arms, I move to the edge of the forest where I last remember standing. I turn on my heel so I’m facing out over the still water of the lake, with the dark cover of the trees behind me. “We were standing right here.”
Mason moves to stand beside me, looking at a point deeper in the forest behind me. “That makes sense. We found your phone back there.” He lifts his chin, indicating a spot behind me, and I turn to look into the gloomy depths of the forest.
Something bangs against my consciousness, and goosebumps rise along my arm as I move toward the treeline. Stepping into the shadows, I shiver as the heat of the sun is blocked out. I reach out, trailing my fingers over a tree to my right, and I’m assaulted by memories, coming so quickly I can’t initially process them.
“What is it? What happened?” someone asks, a hint of urgency and concern to their voice.
“I knew we shouldn’t have fucking done this,” Hawk snarls angrily, but I’m barely paying attention to any of them.